Only Mergers in the Building - S1 E3 "The Spreadsheet Oracle"

When due diligence vanishes and programs quietly disappear, the trio turns to the only force still producing answers: a mysterious Spreadsheet Oracle who claims Excel itself has foretold the merger’s fate. As chicken‑noodle prophecies collide with shifting timelines, ghosted programs, and a witness convinced seagulls are running surveillance for the College Employer Council, the investigators follow a trail of missing minutes, cold rooms, and silent campuses to uncover the one question no one seems able to answer—who, exactly, is doing the diligence?A CAAT Tales (the podcast) Production - because if we couldn't find something the laugh about ... well ...Special thanks to the following:Music:Sonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/ Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884Theme - Alex_besss-Your-Case-Is-Closed-433524Hall Pass – RiversideOcean Blue - RiversideHaunt Couture - RiversideSonican-magical-dramedy-orchestral-sneaky-spell-357667u_vnt8a8vcp6 https://pixabay.com/users/sonican-38947841/Sonican-sneaky-spell-magical-orchestral-loop-372884  Sound Effects:Key press – dragon-studio-single-key-press-393908Typing – freesound_community-keyboard-typing 36490Error - freesound_community-error-96492Whoosh – soundreality-whoosh-large-sub-384631Marker sound – lesiakower-highlighter-on-paper-highlighting-385295Knock – freesound_community-knock-knock-knock-40474Louder knock - freesound_community-knocking-on-window-99754Zoom – racehlribeiro71-zoom-connecting-to-meeting-504404Rustling bushes – freesound_community-057988_rustling-bushes-88885Clock – reddog0607-clock-ticking-365218Chair – freesound_community-chair-squeak-100546Coffee cup - freesound_community-putting-a-cup-on-a-table-and-stirring-in-it-999831LEGAL DISCLAIMER & NOTICE of PARODY: This program is a creative production of CAAT Tales. It is a work of dramatic satire, parody, and opinion-based commentary. All characters—including Taylor, Alex, and Miles—are fictionalized personas. The events, dialogue, and scenarios depicted have been dramatized using artistic license for educational, comedic, and illustrative purposes.While the podcast discusses public matters of institutional governance, academic planning, and labor relations, the statements made by the characters should not be taken as literal statements of absolute fact, nor do they represent the official legal positions of any individual, local union, or parent organization.This content is protected under the principles of freedom of expression, fair comment on matters of public interest, and academic/union expression.