OrEd-T-18.5-The Little Willingness

OrEd-T-18.5-The Little Willingness32. The holy instant is the result of my determination to be holy. It is the answer. The desire and the willingness to let it come precedes its coming. We prepare our minds for it only to the extent of recognizing that I want it above all else. It is not necessary that I do more. Indeed, it is necessary that I realize that I cannot do more. I must not attempt to give the Holy Spirit what He does not ask for, or I will add the ego, and confuse the two. He asks only little. It is He who adds the greatness and the might. He joins with me to make the holy instant far greater than I can understand. It is my realization that I need do so little that enables Him to give so much.33. I must not trust my good intentions. They are not enough. But I will trust implicitly my willingness. I will concentrate only on this, and not be disturbed that shadows come with it. If I could come without the shadows, I would not need the holy instant. There is nothing to achieve. The miracle of the holy instant lies only in my willingness to let it be what it is, and also in my willingness to accept myself as I was meant to be. 34. Humility never asks that I be content with littleness. But humility requires that I be content only with greatness that comes not of me. My difficulty with the holy instant is the fixed conviction that I am not worthy of greatness. This is the determination to be as I would make myself. God did not create me unworthy of Him. I must not interfere with His coming where He wills to be. The strength of willingness will come from God, and not from me.35. The holy instant does not come from my little willingness alone. It is combined with the unlimited power of God's Will. It is wrong and arrogant to think that I must prepare myself for Him and establish the conditions for peace. They do not wait on my willingness for what they are. My willingness is only needed to make me teachable, so I can learn what is being offered me by God. 36. The answer is given for me if I only ask the question. I will not try to be holy, for that is God's job. Atonement can only come to those who just simply have the willingness to give it the space to come. I cannot atone for myself. Rather, I will think like this:37. I am worthy of God. I am His host. He put His dwelling-place in me, creating it as He would have it be. It is ready for Him. There is no need to improve on its readiness. He will restore my eternal awareness of my readiness. I must not interfere or add anything to HIs plan. And, without substituting a plan of my own, I must willingly accept His plan. 38. That is all. If I add anything, I will take away the little that is asked. I made guilt. My plan for the escape from guilt is to bring Atonement to guilt, making salvation fearful. If I prepare myself for love, I will only add fear. The preparation for the holy instant belongs to the Holy Spirit. I release myself to the Holy Spirit as His function is release. I will not assume His function for Him, but give to Him only what He asks. I will see how great is His part and how little is mine.39. The holy instant is so easy and so natural. I make it difficult because I insist that there must be more to do. It can seem personally insulting to me that my contribution is so little, and that I receive so much from the Holy Spirit. I still believe that my understanding is an important contribution to the truth, and helps make it true. But Jesus says that I don't need to understand anything. This makes salvation easy, and available right now. 40. It has been my plan to make what is natural and easy for me impossible. Whether I am aware of it or not, if God wills it, it will be. If I believe the holy instant is difficult for me, I have decided what is possible, and am unwilling to surrender to the knowing of the Holy Spirit. The belief in orders of difficulty in miracles is centered on this. Everything God wills is possible and has already happened. The past is gone, because it never happened. Only unreal thoughts need to be given away to feel freedom from the past.