Osboo3 201: Voice message to Ammo Ziad

Recorded 24.08.2022 20:39 Uploaded 28.08.2022 22:06 It was negative energy I felt after I spoke with my uncle (ammo in Arabic) Ziad. We spoke for an hour and a half, and it became clear to me the man loves himself his thoughts first and foremost. He insults people, creates problems, makes bad decisions, and complains about how unhappy he and his wife are although it was there decision to move into our house in Palestine. I sent him a message telling him how it still hurts me that he shouted at my mom, someone who took care of his daughter when she was studying in Dubai without asking for anything in return. He sent the voicenote to my sister and all of his siblings. And his justification was “inta jarahtny bi hay il kilmeh”. I learned this after I sent him this voice message. I lied when I said that was all I said to my brother. I spoke to my mom about this yesterday while I was walking home after the gym (will upload a recording while going there) and she told me how we’re similar like that. That we think being honest and justifying and justifying and justifying is going to help us. Some people will not and won’t listen to justification. We should not open ourselves up to people as though that is a solution. Still, I’ll say it here, my uncle is a narcissist. I disliked our conversation, I disliked his sense of morality and rationale, I disliked his pride, and I dislike him. I think it was after Ammo Khalid’s death that the family lost it’s sense of “we are for each other”. I want to explain how my uncle is wrong. My sister and my mom said “ikhtisir Khalid” I have the sense that he needs to know that how he thinks and what he does is wrong. But he is an ignorant soul that is suffering. I do not need to suffer myself to suffer them more. Cutting useless threads is my job. If he was ever going to change he would have done it a long time ago. Thanks for talking Mama. You have such lovely wisdom and I am fortunate to be privy to your voice in that privacy before sleep.