This is amazing media production. As I was sitting in that studio trying to record, it felt so foreign to me, I was so out of my comfort zone. I was also recording the people around me, and I'm not used to recording with people around me. That adds an extra layer of pressure when people are sitting right there.
And it's time to perform. Sometimes I freeze as many stages as I've stood on and use my voice. I still get intimidated. I still second guess myself.
I still question, can I deliver? As I'm trying to deliver, I'm in my head saying, can you really do this? This is me being vulnerable and sharing this recording with you all when I was in a space of not feeling 100% confident, but I pushed myself anyway. And so just to give you a little bit more behind the scenes, what was happening, I did take after take, let's say maybe like four takes of trying to record this one episode of content that I had already sort of like drafted out.
And it just was not working for me. With the camera staring at me, I just couldn't get into a flow. So Ana, as you'll hear me reference later in this episode, Ana said, you're not sounding natural like you normally sound on your podcast episodes. You're overthinking this.
Just relax. Just talk. Just connect and do what you do. And so this is me just talking, freestyling off the top of my head, letting you into my mind and into what was going on right then and there in that moment.
Let's get into it. Good people. Hello. Ayanna Angel here checking in and I'm doing all this breathing because I am not in my comfort zone right now.
We talk about quick playing small every week and this is me pushing myself outside of what feels normal for me. You know why? Because I'm in a studio. This is my first time.
Believe it or not, in the six plus years that I've been podcasting, recording in a studio. I know that sounds foreign. I know that sounds odd for most of you because podcasting is swirling around us right now, right? Everybody is a podcaster.
Everybody has their finger in the game. I have my whole foot in the game and I've never stepped into a studio. So for those of you who are also aspirational in this space, hopefully that will let you know that you don't have to do what everybody else is doing in order to achieve what you may want to achieve with your podcasting aspirations and dreams. So I'm here in Atlanta and I said, you know, I'm going to do something different.
And so this is me showing up for you all in a different way. So what's been happening with me behind the scenes? I think as much as I show up for all of you and continuously try and encourage you to quit playing small, as I've said before, it's a journey and it's something that I'm always trying to push myself to do as well. What does that look like for me right now?
Very specifically, looks like me taking on projects that are intimidating for me. Why are they intimidating for me? Because the subject matter is outside of my wheelhouse, completely outside of my wheelhouse. And when that happens, you feel like I guess a bit of that imposter syndrome that we talked about a couple weeks ago.
You feel like, am I qualified? Can I do this? Why are they choosing me? Why are they trusting me?
But what I had to realize in conversation with some of my good friends last night was, you got to go for it anyway. You have to take the chance on you. Somebody else has already taken the chance on you. So if they believe in you that much, why can't you believe in yourself?
What do you lose? Nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
And I'm so grateful to have people in my life that support me from all angles, not just when I'm going to hide and things that go great, but also when I'm in a season of uncertainty. And I don't really know what's going to come next. They're still there to cheer me on and say, keep going toward that uncertainty. You never know what you'll find.
And that I am very appreciative of because I know that that's required in this life to be able to thrive. Some people think that you can do it all on your own. You can continuously hype yourself up. And while there may be some of us who are really good at that, sometimes you get tired.
And let me be honest with you all again. Your girl has been tired. Tired. Like, I don't even want to leave my apartment some days because I'm just tired.
I'm over it. I just want to relax. I just want to be in my space that I've created comfort for myself. But I know that I have to get back out there.
I have to push. I have to do the things because that's what's going to take me to the next level. And I'm just really, like I said, appreciative of the people in my life who continue to bless me with their knowledge, their insight and their good energy and positive vibes to pour into me so that I can keep going so that I can feel re-energizing those moments where I feel like, oh, this is a lot. And we all feel like that a lot of times, right?
Because life can be life in and life can be a lot. But that's why we have to have our tribe and our community. And I feel like we're feeling very grateful for being in that space of community. And speaking of that, I am literally in a space of community right now.
This studio that I'm sitting in and recording into this microphone and talking to all of you from, this is a friend of mine. This is her studio. A doe de media is her studio that she created by her own vision, with her own resources, with her own money, with her own sweat equity. And you know what she did it for her to be able to see a bigger, a larger vision, not just for herself, but for her community.
And so I'm appreciative of Anna for allowing me to be in her space. And I'm appreciative of all of you for allowing me to be in your space. Because week to week, you let me come in and chat with you. And I'm sitting big, big, big, big virtual hugs in love.
Because that's what I need. I need to be able to connect with you guys. I need that. Just as much as you think I'm here for you.
I'm here for me too, because me being able to share energy with you all does something for me. So thank you. Thank you for spending time with me today. Thank you for allowing me in your space.
And in the spirit of saying thank you, I want to do a little something special, especially because this is the close of the year for us. This podcast, if you didn't know, I'm going to be doing this one in seasons. So this episode ends our first season together. We'll be back in January with a whole new season and more goodness for you.
But like I said, I want to do something a little special and say thank you. So the first five people that text me, that text me and sign up in my address book, they will get a signed copy of a quid plane. Small Book. You can text me at area code 202-568-8161.
So as we roll into the new year, 2023 and our new season, I am going to be opening up my text messages, which means that I would love for all of you who text me. But like I said, the first five people will get a signed copy of a quid plane. Small Book. But moving forward, this is going to be our way to stay connected, communicate with each other and just share the goodness and keep it going, even when episodes are not out.
So I would love if you would sign up to be a part of my text message. And let me know what you need for me in these text messages. You'll see what I mean once you sign up. There's a nice little, I guess you could say, questionnaire, where I want to know how I can give back to you.
So feel free to join me in this text messaging experience and let's see what we can make of it. Again, the number is 202-568-8161. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season. I hope that you're able to spread love, enjoy with your friends and family and all of your loved ones.
I plan on doing the same exact thing. I will be spending the holiday season in California with my family, very much so looking forward to it. Just looking forward to connecting, to eating good and to creating memories with those that I love. Until we connect again, this is not for well.
This is not goodbye. See you next season. Be well.