Overcoming Codependency: The Victim Attachment Personality Pattern. Playing the victim role

Let’s talk about the Attachment Personality of the Victim. Firstly, what is an attachment personality pattern? When you're born into a family Dynamic, particularly one that is dysfunctional. toxic, abusive, or addicted, you start scrambling and hustling to try to figure out how to do life in that family. You try to figure out how to survive, thrive, connect or cope in that family of origin and you take on a personality in order to function in the dysfunction. I call those ways of being and behaving Attachment Personality Patterns and they are types of codependency. As a codependency coach, it's my hope to help do a couple of things. The first thing I want to do is foster awareness of any subconscious patterns that you might be living out within your current relationships that you once adopted as a way to function. But now it's not working anymore. And then I want to give you the tools and strategies to break free from those patterns once and for all. Because patterns aren't pathology, you're not sick and there's nothing wrong with you. But there's a way that you're behaving and showing up in your relationships today that just isn't working for you anymore. It's holding you back from having the relationships that you really deserve and that you really want. Now here's what's ironic about the role of the victim ( the role we’re discussing today) in this dysfunctional family dynamic. Likely victims aren't the ones reading this! In fact, the only time a victim personality will ever search out a video on YouTube about being a victim is to prove people wrong that they're not actually a victim. So if the victim personality isn’t reading this, who is? It's likely the role of the Fixer attachment personality pattern who's looking to properly diagnose the victim in the dynamic and figure out how to fix that person or help that person best. I also work with a lot of therapists and I certify coaches, who are likely trying to figure out how to better work with this personality. Before I dive into the 5 core traits of a victim personality, let me just give you a caveat. This role is particularly hard to help and in many ways because there is a refusal to recognize that the person is actually in the victim role. Victim Personalities are not true victims. They are simply playing the role of victim. The role of the victim in this functional family Dynamic it is usually played by the toxic or dysfunctional person in the household. If they are actively alcoholic, addicted, narcissistic or toxic, their level of insight is slim to none as far as the impact that they're having on other people goes. That said, let's get into these five core traits first, and then we can talk a little bit more about what's the path out of this. So how can you help? Encourage the Victim Personality to get into recovery. If they are actively using drugs or drinking, recommend they get into treatment. I have several videos on my YouTube Channel to help with this. If you want to discuss how to heal from your own involvement with a Victim Personality, please reach out at www.LoveCoachHeidi.Com and schedule a complimentary consultation.