Overthinking the Question I Was Afraid to Ask

What if the moment that saved you started as a question you were afraid to ask? Ten years ago, I wrote in a question about love, boundaries, and faith to a podcast called Ask Science Mike... and Rob Bell answered it. I didn't know it then, but his response helped move me from people-pleasing to self-respect, from either/or thinking to both/and thinking — and it became one of the turning points that changed the direction of my life. This is a solo episode about navigating the messy middle of major life changes when you're paralyzed by overthinking. About the transition anxiety that comes when you're trying to be "loving" and have boundaries at the same time. For anyone who's ever felt torn between taking care of yourself and being what others need. I'm sharing the full context of what was happening behind the scenes at the time, reading the transcript of my original question and parts of Rob's response, and reflecting on the ripple effects that followed — on my relationships, my faith transition, my healing, and the full-circle moment of having Rob Bell on It's Both. In this episode: - How overthinking kept me people-pleasing — and the question that broke the cycle - Why anxiety spikes when you're trying to be "loving" and have boundaries at the same time - The both/and shift that moved me from either/or thinking to trusting myself - What happens when you finally ask the question you've been afraid to ask - How this moment connects to every transition, identity shift, and messy middle I've navigated since - The full transcript of my question and Rob Bell's response (oxygen masks, non-dual tension, and why real love has boundaries) If you're overthinking your way through a life transition, you've ever felt torn between being "loving" and having boundaries... or wondered if taking care of yourself makes you selfish... this one is for you. Get Connected & Support the Show: - Listen to the companion podcast: It's Both- Guided Meditations for Anxiety, Emotional Regulation, & Real Life Transitions - Subscribe, rate, & review It's Both on Apple Podcasts - Join the Courageous Living Group Transformation