EPISODE · Jul 14, 2026 · 30 MIN
Parentification: The hidden pattern in ADHD relationships
from Sorry, I Missed This: The Everything Guide to ADHD and Relationships with Cate Osborn · host Understood.org
Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out. They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day. Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them. For more on this topic Listen: Sorry, I Missed This: When ADHD turns chores into conflict Watch: ADHD expert answers 8 top questions on romantic relationships For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected]. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
What this episode covers
Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out. They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day. Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.
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Parentification: The hidden pattern in ADHD relationships
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