Parshas Noach

Shlomo opens with a birthday shout-out to his brother and an anniversary one to his parents, then gets into Noach. Was he a real tzaddik or only relative to a generation of bums? Either way, he and his three married sons (Shem, Ham, and Yafes) are the ones Hashem saves. The teva is built from gopher wood with pitch inside and out: 300 by 50 by 30 cubits, or roughly 450 by 75 by 45 feet, three floors, a window (or a light-giving stone), built over 120 years while the neighbors mocked him. Seven pairs of kosher animals and one pair of the rest board by miracle. The flood lasts a full year: 40 days of rain and underground waters that cover every mountain, 150 days of high water, then a gradual drop until the ark rests on Ararat. A raven circles, a dove returns with an olive leaf, and a week later the earth is dry. Noach offers from the kosher animals, Hashem is pleased, and the seven Noahide laws are given to the world. After the rainbow covenant (which Pharaoh later misreads when he drowns the babies), Noach plants a vineyard, gets drunk, and ends up uncovered. Ham mocks; Shem and Yafes walk backward and cover him. Noach curses Canaan and blesses the other two, then dies at 950. The episode skips the genealogies and moves to Migdal Bavel: one language, a tower meant to show Hashem who’s boss, and the sudden split into 70 languages that scatter everyone. Ten generations later we meet Avram and Sarai. The close covers the first two of Avram’s ten tests: 13 years hiding from Nimrod, the smashing of Terach’s idols with the hammer left in the biggest one’s hand, and the fiery furnace. Haran waits to see if Avram survives before choosing a side; Avram walks out, Haran does not.