Part 1: Outsmarting the Narcissist with Chelsey Cole

Chelsey Cole is a psychotherapist focusing on narcissistic abuse and complex trauma. She is the best-selling author of If Only I’d Known, and has joined Dr. Rob to explore what narcissism really is and what it isn’t. She offers clear signs and strategies of a grandiose narcissist, and offers hope for any partner who has been frustrated by assuming their narcissistic partner views relationships through the same lens they do. Unless you understand the views of a narcissist, you will never succeed in true communication and connection with them.    TAKEAWAYS: [2:10] Is he just selfish or is he a true narcissist?  [5:26] Characteristics of the grandiose narcissist.  [9:38] The danger of transactional views of relationships.  [10:31] Stages of the narcissist spectrum.  [14:45] Remorse motivation in a narcissist’s mind.  [17:07] Steps in the cycle of narcissistic abuse.  [20:03] Characteristics of the moderate to severe narcissists.  [23:01] You’re not crazy! Narcissists actually want the conflict you are avoiding.  [25:49] Pathological insecurity versus healthy insecurity.    RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment Partner Sexuality Survey Chelsey Cole   Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.    QUOTES: “True narcissists don’t have the stuff that it takes to create deep, committed relationships.”  “Narcissists believe they are always the exception to every rule.”  “For a true narcissist, their default is to not care about you, and to put their needs first.”  “Narcissists actually seek the conflict you are avoiding.”