Hello and welcome to the Gifted Life Podcast where we have conversations about organ tissue and eye donation. You can always find us at thegiftedlife.org and today our hosts are Kirsten Heitz. Whoa! I'm Joey Boudreau.
And I'm Sarah Blegmour. That was an odd first name, what happened? Yep, they finally turned my mic on today. Yeah.
Feeling in for Lori as we know those are some pretty big shoes too. Yes they are big shoes. I know. I've seen them.
I've seen them. I've seen them. I've seen them. I've seen them.
I've seen them. I've seen them. I've seen them. I've seen them.
I've seen them. So on this episode of the Gifted Life we have a guest from St. Paul, Minnesota, all the way from up north from our friends from Life Source, Mr. Melvin Giles.
Yeah, so Mr. Melvin Giles of course again comes from our friends at Life Source and I have to tell you guys out there when I went through his accolades and honors. It is our honor to be able to talk to you. Mr.
Giles has been a huge impact or had a huge impact on the community as an activist, as an organizer. He's been done a lot in education and social justice. And just a quick rundown. 2003 Martin Luther King Dream Keeper Award.
2005 Virginia McKnight, Binger Award and Human Service. 2008 Outstanding World Citizen Award. 2011. Marl Hall, Rachel Tillson, Social Justice Fund Award.
2017. Blooming St. Paul, Garten Advocate Award. The awards keep going on and on.
Thank you very much Mr. Melvin for coming on today. Thank you for coming on today. So tell me, you know, of course, you know, we'll talk about a little bit about your impact and donation because again, your outreach is just phenomenal.
Tell me a little bit about what got you engaged in having such an impact or wanting to have such an impact on the community. Mr. Webb was raised. I come from a fantastic family, a lovely family.
My father was a preacher and he instilled some good social and public value set values to his kids. We just kind of thought that was the way you suppose that live life. Connecting to everyone. And Mr.
Melvin, what brought you towards the path of educating about donation? Well, for sure. Life Source, my dear life companion passed away at an early age. And within hours of passing, obviously the phone call, I believe it was from Life Source.
Informing me that Merge was an organ donor, a licensed and they asked me questions. And I was happy that they understood that it needed a couple hours to answer any questions for them. But later on, visiting Life Source, I was just really impressed with the love and compassion and support that I felt was in the building from their staff people. I came back a few times and then I met their outreach coordinator and she was just fantastic.
Just being in her presence, I could feel that she wanted to honor Mary and she wanted to make sure wherever I needed, he grew healing for myself. And she would be supportive of that and that Life Source would back up. I'd like to go back if we can just a little bit. Mr.
Melvin, can you tell us a little bit about marrying what kind of person she was? Yeah, she was a great star. She grew up in kind of a small town in western Minnesota, Wilmer, Minnesota. She was a high school swimming champion and became an all-American college champion in her swimming field.
And then she went on to become a social worker. And that's where I met her at Catholic Charities. I would like to say right away, there was a connection, I think the connection was more for me. Once she found out that I was okay with cats and dogs, I wanted to try to warm them.
That's important. So yeah, I didn't wonder if one of the notes about her, she loved to rescue animals, huh? Yeah, after she went to a different career passage, she started following her passion, which was the care and love for animals. She became a pioneer in Minnesota as far as fair cats, trap, trapping and stay in the noodle release.
She started with what we call the noodle community, traveling around the state of Minnesota, visiting farms, and she would lead a team. Sometimes you have to vet, you know, always have some folks. I got to volunteer with them, and my job was to recovery room. And that's where some of the peace pebbles and peace poles come in there.
But during the hurricane Katrina, she led what she called a dream team down through the Orleans. We had a caravan about pine vehicles, and a lot of animal stuff, but human things too. And I grouped out here for maybe seven days on that first trip. They married myself, stayed for the whole month.
And then her work, she continued to go back and forth for a whole year, sometimes taking animals back. That was rescue, but it was always a blessing to be turning with the animals when we found the owners. Yes, it was a great animal rescue. That had to be incredible.
I was in New Orleans during Katrina, and my dad's a vet. And I know that was one of the biggest fears that people had was losing their animals and not being able to evacuate with their animals or what would happen to their animals if they did evacuate. So I thank you so much for the work you guys did. Sounds like you both were just such a blessing in service to your community.
And I know a lot of families I work with when they make the decision for their love when to be an organ donor, they say it brings them such peace. And I know you've been mentioning the peace bubbles. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Yeah, and I've been for myself as a peacemaker.
And I have learned the joy of bubbles. I was by accident. And I can actually say Mary has something to do with that too. But these days I use bubbles as a way of sharing.
So we need a great spaces and places of peace. In particular, I encourage bubbles instead of bullets or bubbles instead of just acting in a dysfunctional way. I mean, you take a deep breath and just you can't be standing up if you close my happy bubbles. I have to say, you know, and I've got a picture of you here blowing bubbles and it just takes me back.
You know, when anytime someone's blowing bubbles, it just brings the environment into a happier place. And I can see the meaning behind that. And it's a neat thing, especially you mentioned, you know, bubbles. You mentioned bubbles instead of bullets.
That's a cool idea that you came up with. Thank you. And I would say also, but also with the bubbles, connected to that social justice, it's been another way of, for me, as a Black man to connect with police officers. About 20 years ago, I started giving bubbles to police officers to take all their domestic calls, particularly running to children that they could give them to the kids, for they can start treating this whole different perspective of how people look at each other instead of these kids being fearful of these cops that they can kind of remember them as, you know, peacemakers, bubble makers.
That is such a neat idea. And it's a simple one, you know, it's not something that takes a whole lot of finances or creativity, you know, but the fact that you thought of doing that. And like I said, the thoughts that I have as a 40 something year old kid, you know, every time I see bubbles, I want to blow myself so that the impact that it has on kids and the community relationships with police officers that's as pretty impactful. So, you know, like we said, community activists and educators.
So then you told us a little bit about, you know, what happened with Mary, what type of person she was. And then you found, you know, the life source, you started talking to the community educator family support there. So tell us about that relationship and how that got you to their check the box campaign. Yeah, I wonder that myself.
That's a good question. As I mentioned, the person, not sure if I mentioned my name, but she's a girl, someone saying it's an empty. One day I came by to ask her, would she or life source be interested in having the information table at a community event? And part of my request was because I didn't know many folks in our community who was related with life source number one.
And Oregon donation, I think, is not a subject that I hear at all in the community. And the only thing someone may mention is that it's a question on the, you know, you go get your cyber license. And then Lindsay did not hesitate. She says she would like to do it.
She had to check with her folks. And I think she would even do it. However, since that time, I would say she's a regular visitor now over in St. Paul.
And she's really helping to share the word, particularly in communities of color and First Nation communities. I kind of joke with her sometime because the table, especially in summertime, she's always bringing some kind of ocean. But she also brings hand washing stuff. Right.
It's a lesson that simple as an eye have learned too that everyone probably needs to use a little something. So, Mr. Malden, what kind of questions have you been working with Lindsay? Are you hearing the most from the community?
You know, you didn't really hear much about it. So what kind of questions now that you're trying to open those conversation paths? Are you getting? Yeah, you know, actually, it's still the questions.
I'm hearing more people tell me about how they are Oregon. They have check the box. That's great. And it's really a small, like people want me to know that they are part of this movement, this great movement of knowing they can leave a gift.
I definitely do get questions about what people tell me their, their parents or someone they know is on a waiting list. And often I just give them like source telephone number or give them a card. There's been times where for me, I usually have to call or email and they see to ask what should you be willing to talk to someone who's unfortunately just lost a loved one. And it's just the thought for that person, when there's somebody there that they can't talk to, I believe to give them a sense of, I don't want to necessarily say peace, but it gives them a sense that this will pass and they all will be well.
Anyone just takes a time. Yeah, just having someone to listen to you and be there for you and support you has been, I'm sure, impactful for so many families. Yes. And then I'll say the other great piece of what I've been experiencing.
It's just this whole group of facts. I can be even in Georgia, the state of Georgia at a conference and someone, particularly if I'm in a soda, might make a comment. I know two months ago it happened to me and the person shared with me how they received a gift of a organization and that her sister received one. Later on, I found out when I came back and shared that someone who I worked with very closely that their brother received a mission.
I'm really happy that I asked Trina to be here today. So I would like to make sure we save some time for it to share. I think that she would like to share about Mary was an organ donor whereas Trina's brother was a receiver recipient. And that is, for me, I just love this magic.
The question you asked me earlier about life source, it really has helped me with my feeling. And I know it's going to be a lifetime of it, but when a person asked me a question, I basically tell people about, like with a wonderful life with the angel, people say angel got their wing. Every time somebody mentioned to me about seeing me growing bubbles or check the box, I just smile within my heart and knowing that's my, that's Mary saying, hey, baby, I'm still with you. Keep doing the good work.
Keep spreading peace. Keep planting peace poles. I love that. So, Mr.
Mellon, when somebody asks you why it's important to check the box, what do you tell them? Well, most of my brothers and brothers, I don't know. And it puts them in a better mood, of course. Yeah.
And I, you know, it's a gift. And I was saying, I need to go after why I do it. I think people are, I think people know why they should do it. They mainly want some insurance or confirmation that their afterlife or somebody they know their loved one will be respected.
Yeah, it sounds like that was kind of the inspiration behind the check the box campaign that life source wanted to be able to start having conversations and giving real life examples and real stories to people who had been touched by donation and transplantation or just were advocates for donations. And they've been very successful. Yeah. And, you know, we talk a lot here about the power of one, you know, and the impact that one person can have.
And I have to say in this situation, obviously it is the power of two because of what you and Mary have both done for so many people in so many areas, so many animals too, you know, and her going from saving animals lives to saving people's lives. And then you taking that and making more of an impact even than just those directly touched. It's pretty remarkable. And again, I know I said it earlier, thank you for coming.
But you are an inspiration to us certainly. Thank you. Quick question. Were you ever able to meet any of her recipients?
No, but I'm glad you mentioned that. Because I have not met them, but I have read some letters and it was those letters that I didn't meet them in person but I met them and started and scared and helped me to know. In this moment, man, they have some words to say even in death, she was still able to help others. And for me, that's what that.
Yeah, that's a good question. If I could meet them, I would love to. I know the first three months, four months. I definitely was looking at people's eyes often.
Seeing her eyes. And it's a life source. I can't make it all that she's all over the place. It's not too much of a physical thing.
She's in the air. And that her spirit and more so are the shining. If I can say one thing, Joey, part of that light. I think you mentioned the Peace Pole.
One of my nephews is listening to me right now. A couple years after her is dead. You come up to me and say, I don't go. I'm going to help you create this Solar Peace Pole out of that mirror.
I'm hoping that life source and many other people be able to have a Solar Peace Pole. And for me, that's another way of keeping Mary's life shining. So, Mr. Melvin, you were sharing with us that Ms.
Mary brought you to life source and to becoming a donation advocate, but then you also have been able to experience the receiving end through your coworker, Trina, correct? Well, that was mainly saying that I'm sometimes surprised of the connections of organ donation or how when people start sharing, you hear other stories. And Trina happened to share a story with me about podcast, actually, that her brother, who was a recipient. And she's, I'm looking right at her.
I want to hand this phone to her. Go ahead. Put her on. We'd love to talk to her.
Hi, this is Trina. Hi, Trina. This is Kirsten. And Joey and Sarah here.
Would you mind sharing your connection to donation and transplantation? Sure. I have a brother who suffered for probably 25 years with sarcoidosis of the lungs, which was progressive and he eventually was put on a waiting list for transplant. And he was two years ago.
He finally jumped to the top of the list and received a lung. And it's been, you know, a miracle for him. This was a guy who was a marathon runner and always very active. And even at the height of his disability with a lung disease, he always tried to remain active and hung out with my kids all over the years.
And we'd take them out and do things with them, even if that meant that two days, you know, for the following two days, he was kind of, you know, sitting in a chair doing nothing because he had completely exhausted him. And now he has received the gift of a lung and he's been able to resume a very active life. And a couple years later, after adjusting to the medications and the recovery from the surgery, he feels better than he's felt in decades. And so it's just this remarkable story of an early son life.
That's incredible. So how did you and Melvin start this conversation? How did y'all find out that you had this connection? So it's because Melvin was telling me about some events that he participated in here at LifeSource and people that he met here and his ability to create this connection to bring some education over into St.
Paul in the neighborhoods where we had been working together. And so he was talking about this and I started asking him, what is this connection with LifeSource? Tell me about this and then he told me about Mary. And, you know, Melvin is an amazing connector in the community.
And he brings out people's lives and people's stories and creates connections through them. And so I felt really great about being able to share the story of my brother with him. And I think it was about that same time where Jesse had started talking to Melvin about potentially doing this podcast. You know, Melvin, well, Trina, you should just come along.
He's always making connections, but he makes you feel like you're part of a special club. And so, being in a special club with Melvin is pretty amazing. But I can't express my gratitude for the fact that I have my brother with me to be able to do things with him and see him being able to live his life and be active and travel and ride a bike and do all the things that he had to forgo for many, many years. So I couldn't be more grateful for the donation system.
I was listening to your story and thinking about what Mary rescuing animals. And I find that, and I don't know if Trina feels like this, a lot of times the recipients, to me, kind of have some similarities to animals that need rescuing. They just need one person to care for them and say yes to adopting them and just like there's so many people waiting for one person to say yes and being an organ donor. Have you ever thought about that parallel?
Yes. Thank you. For Mary and myself, we decided we got together that we might be parents, but we just want the parents to four-legged kids. And we had many of them.
Mary's teaching the book called, The Conference of Katrina. And then the photo of one of the dogs she rescued. And it looked like it wasn't going to even survive. And then there's after photo with the dog named Katrina.
It Mary's arms. So yes, I often think of that parallel and I know that I'm still a point to breathe through knowing that the dog that she rescued passed away about four months before Mary did. And I definitely believe that they left Mary with the broken heart. And she didn't go see her baby.
And after that we had one more four-legged. And blessed that he hung around before for two more years in the beginning. He said he needed to go see his mama and people who I know often tell me that they know Mary is up there at that rainbow bridge welcoming animals. And some people say yes, can she rescue my auntie too?
I'm like, I don't know. She dealt with animals. But I also wanted to say again, thank you. And I think it's kind of the secrecy of having this podcast for the month of February.
The other thing Mary and I used to love doing is really playing and having fun with the leap years. And knowing that if you take a leap of faith, you need to start with a lot of runway for you to look both ways. And one of the things I fell in love with Mary was she had this poster that mattered about the great leap of faith. And it was a Minnesota artist who just this woman just stretching and jumping, leaping across the canyons.
And so I invite everyone, particularly this Saturday, to really take advantage of February 29th. And just to do something extra fun, something extra loving, and just to leap it. So thank you again. Mr.
Melbourne, I just want to thank you so much for coming on and sharing such wonderful advice with us. And if you'd like to read more of Mr. Melbourne's story, you can go to donatelifemidwest.org. And check out their Check the Box campaign.
And in every episode, we like to take a moment for mental health. Yeah, Sarah, what do you got? You mentioned earlier, men in grief. Do men even grief?
Yes, they do. So today we're going to talk about how men do grief and how as a society in the US, men are taught, probably from young age boys are taught a little bit to show their feelings and their emotions and be vulnerable less. So we're not at all. We're not at all.
It's a sign of weakness. It's this, it's that. So recently we had a death in America, Kobe Bryant died. And I think for one of the first times we saw several men, several strong pro athletes crying on camera.
And I think it just had this really big impact and it showed this really big shift. And it showed how being vulnerable is actually showing strength. And it was the first time. So I kind of wanted to talk about that shift in our culture and how we should start talking to boys at a young age or change the way we talk to boys that it's okay to show tears.
It's okay to show grief. And I don't know what your thoughts are. Well, I'm not sure. It's not tears.
It's okay to show grief. And I don't know what your thoughts. Well, I can tell you and it's going to be difficult for a minute. But yeah, so I recently lost my father in law very close friend of mine.
And after the service is the funeral, my sister, you know, of course was there. And she said, I've never in my life gone to a funeral where every single man was crying. Every man was crying. And it's not something you would have seen.
Of course it is obviously shows the impact that he had on so many. But it also shows that we are in a different place in society that 15, 20 years ago, that was so much more taboo. Yeah, everyone would have had to continue holding it in until ultimately releasing it later in their privacy, their own homes or when they're alone. And you are definitely seeing it.
I mean, obviously you mentioned Kobe Bryant. And I was actually in Atlanta at the time in a restaurant. And it actually came up on my phone with the Kobe Bryant thing. And I'm a huge, obviously you all know I'm a huge sports fan, big basketball fan.
And I was so stunned. I couldn't speak for like a while in my wife. You know, who knows? And she knows who he is.
She was like, you know, they couldn't understand like what is going, you know, why are you not speaking? And I'm like, I just need a minute. It is, he's an icon and it's giant to me. And it's funny.
I looked around and of course news spread, you know, immediately now with social media. And I looked around in this place and there was so many guys who were stopped. And it was kind of like a sports bar in real that we were eating lunch. And everyone's just like jaw dropped to the floor somber watching the TV.
It was just a real thing that, you know, just for a little bit. And you know, you knew the impact of Kobe, but you knew, you know, you can see all those guys, you know, that obviously you're in a sports bar, you know, and grill most of those guys enjoy sports. So he probably had a connection. But to see that grieving that was already instantaneous like on their faces in their demeanor.
And it just, it normalizes for other men that it's okay to show grief and tears specifically. We know that letting tears out. There are toxins in tears when you're grieving that you have to let them out. So it normalizes it and makes it okay.
And you know, this is one example, but recently Joe Barrow go tigers won the Heisman and in his speech he cried. And it to me showed so much strength and so much vulnerability that he was able to connect to so many more people. And I think that's what this is all about is just connecting to others. Yeah, more real.
Being more real, being authentic. And like you said, you just were out of funeral. I remember funerals I've been to with my family where my dad didn't cry. And it made me more worry for him.
Instead of, you know, and I know that might sound a little selfish. But if I would have just seen my dad maybe cry, I would have been less worried about him. Like he's holding this in. He doesn't want to show anybody this.
Instead of looking at himself and he's letting it out and he's not afraid what other people think. So, you know, I'm a woman. So it might be harder for me to engage in this conversation. But I just think as a society we're becoming more and more okay with men showing grief and tears and being vulnerable and being authentic.
And keep it going. And those conversations start with young boys. So if you're talking to your sons, your nephews, if they start to cry, don't say, hold that in boys, don't cry. It's more so.
I agree. Yeah. Thanks for the information, Sarah. Always good conversations.
If you have a topic you'd like Ms. Sarah to tackle, email us at info at thegiftedlife.org. In every episode we honor a hero and today's hero comes from our partners at LifeSource, Ms. Mary Salter.
We learn about Mary from her spouse, Melvin. Mary operated from the heart and her beautiful smile and bright blue eyes were a shining light for so many people. She was a dedicated social worker and enjoyed serving and advocating for elderly clients. She also had a great passion for animals and was considered a rescuer and friend to all.
Mary liked exploring new recipes and often volunteered at the Community Peace Sanctuary Garden in St. Paul. With so much love to give and dedication to helping others, Mary made the life-saving decision to register as a donor. Through her passing, she has given hope and peace to so many people with her generous gift of life.
And now we pause and say thank you to Mary for the gift of life. In our question and answer segment, we've got a question from Kirsten. Why are so many minorities on the Oregon waiting list? So Kirsten, all right, so I'll go back to the waiting list itself.
So 113,000 people generally, you know, over the last few months, it's about what it's been. You know, the national waiting list thing is most of the waiting list is comprised of kidneys. You know, there's a big kidney need than any of the other organ types. And so a couple things that I want to touch on.
First, the main reason is that prevalence of kidney disease is higher in the minority communities. So then because of this, more minorities are on dialysis and thus need transplants. So just want to touch on the list a little bit though so you guys can, you know, we'll all be on the same page on this. The wait list is not listed by racial group ethnicity or anything like the culture, anything.
You know, it's listed by, it depends on the organ type kidneys are listed by the priority is given to those who have been on dialysis for the longest. So there's no distinguishing with ethnicities, whereas the other organ types in general are more by urgency, how sick those people are. So you will see, you know, the reflection of the kidney list and those who are receiving transplants are very much similar to the percentages on the waiting list. All right, thank you so much.
And if you have a question, give us a call at 504-648-3477. Well, Joey, Sarah, thanks for having me on this side of the mic. Great. That's so much fun.
Now I want to go pet some puppies and blow some bubbles. Hello, Joe. And for everybody else, I want to let you guys know if you haven't decided to register as an organ donor yet, it's super easy. Just go to registerme.org.
Yeah, and what a great episode. Special thanks, obviously, to Melvin. Our friends at LifeSource there in Minnesota and from Melvin for sharing Mary with us two very inspirational people. And you know, we talked, and Lori always says the power of one and the impact and the ripple effect that they can have and that day those two have had.
And also thanks to Trina to also jumping on there last minute with us and sharing her side and how it completely closes the loop on donation with, you know, their connections. If you want to learn more, you can visit us at our website, thegiftedlife.org. You can listen to our podcast there or anywhere you listen to your podcast, whether it's Apple, Google, or Spotify. And if you do listen on Apple Podcasts, leave us a five-star rating and subscribe so that others can find our podcast.
Absolutely. And if you're on social media, like our page on Facebook, the Gifted Life podcast, and follow us on both Twitter and Instagram at Gifted LifePod. And we hope this episode inspired you to do something you would normally do to help make life happen.