People Pleasing vs. Overgiving

Episode 15In this episode of Healing Doesn’t Have to Hurt, April and Andrea unpack the often-confused patterns of people pleasing and overgiving—how they’re similar, how they’re different, and why they both come from the same place: the need to feel safe.Through honest reflection and decades-long friendship, they explore how people pleasing focuses on keeping others happy to avoid conflict, while overgiving shows up as rescuing, fixing, and taking responsibility for other people’s emotions. Both patterns, while adaptive in childhood, can quietly lead to burnout, resentment, loss of self, and deeply unbalanced relationships in adulthood.This conversation dives into the nervous system roots of these behaviors, including the fawn response, and how self-denial becomes normalized over time. April and Andrea share real-life examples—from being “the easy one” to ignoring basic needs like hunger or rest—and explain how these habits disconnect us from our own wants, boundaries, and identity.Listeners are guided toward awareness-based tools for change, including naming the pattern when it shows up, tuning into the body, and practicing regulation techniques that help bring us back into the present moment. This episode is an invitation to stop abandoning yourself for connection—and to begin building relationships rooted in authenticity, reciprocity, and self-trust.