People Pleasing: Why We Do It and How to Stop

Join our Joy Circle here: https://www.schoolofjoypodcast.com/join-our-join-circleFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/schoolofjoypodcast/Episode 5 is all about people pleasing — why it happens, how it shows up, and how we can start to shift it.We share our own experiences as lifelong, “hardcore” people pleasers, and explore the deeper root beneath the behaviour: the drive to be accepted (and feel safe) can lead us to sacrifice our authenticity, ignore our needs, and lose track of our boundaries. We talk about how people pleasing often leaves a residue — resentment, bitterness, passive-aggression — because we’re giving from obligation rather than love.Renske unpacks how people pleasing can make boundaries feel vague or impossible, especially when you’ve spent years focused on keeping the peace outside of yourself. She shares how this played out in relationships, and a powerful lesson from family life and becoming a “bonus mum” — learning to balance everyone else’s needs without disappearing in the process.We also share practical tools that help us come back to ourselves:The “Four A’s” check-in: where am I seeking acceptance, acknowledgement, appreciation, or approval?Heart-centred stillness: using meditation (and journaling) to bring unconscious patterns into awareness.Body wisdom + capacity: slowing down, sensing how a “yes” or “no” lands in the body, and asking: do I actually have the capacity for this right now?As always, we finish with our Joy Sparks — small, ordinary moments that light us up — and a short closing breath to anchor back into the body.