Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, & Body Image: Self-Compassion Tools for Long-Term Eating Disorder Recovery With Carrie Pollard, MSW @compassionate_counsellor

Self-compassion is a powerful, learnable skill in eating disorder recovery. In this conversation with registered social worker, grain farmer, and mom of five, Carrie Pollard, MSW, we explore how compassion lowers shame, supports motivation, and helps people replace harmful coping with kinder, sustainable care. We talk about trauma-informed treatment, somatic awareness, DBT skills, and what self-compassion looks like in real sessions and real life. What You’ll Learn What self-compassion really is: noticing suffering and responding to it with care, based on the Mindful Self-Compassion model by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer. Why “the why” matters: exploring roots like trauma and chronic stress helps people understand why symptoms once protected them and how to meet those needs differently. Behavioral tools and deeper work together: how CBT, FBT, and skills work can sit alongside bottom-up, body-based approaches and insight-oriented therapy. Backdraft in self-compassion: why big feelings can surge when kindness finally lands, and how to ride emotional waves safely. Somatic cues and capacity: using body signals, boundaries, and micro-pauses to prevent overload, especially for high-achieving, people-pleasing clients. Rural and farmer mental health: unique barriers to care, higher anxiety and depression in farm communities, and why accessible, virtual support matters. Key Takeaways Self-compassion reduces shame and increases motivation, which supports behavior change in anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, ARFID, and long-term recovery. You can ask two steady questions throughout healing: What am I feeling? and What am I needing? Emotional waves peak and pass. Skills from DBT and mindful self-compassion help you surf them without self-criticism. Recovery grows when systems of care address trauma, body image, diet culture, and access barriers faced by rural, disabled, neurodivergent, and larger-bodied people. Guest Carrie Pollard, MSW is a registered social worker in Ontario, Canada, @compassionate_counsellor. She brings two decades of clinical experience, deep community ties in agriculture, and a trauma-informed lens to eating disorder treatment. She co-founded a national farmer mental health initiative and participates in the Waterloo-Wellington Eating Disorder Coalition. Instagram: @compassionate_counsellor Counseling for Ontario, Canada residents: flourishwithcompassion.com Waterloo-Wellington Eating Disorder Coalition: search the coalition site to find therapists, physicians, and dietitians, plus details for the professional development day on diversifying eating disorder perspectives (happening October 24, 2025). Notable Moments Naming self-compassion backdraft so clients can expect it and feel less afraid. Using hand-over-heart and paced breathing when words are hard. Reframing symptoms as once-useful survival strategies, then building new supports. Embracing imperfection in therapy and life to align with authenticity and values. Who This Episode Supports People in eating disorder recovery who feel stuck in shame or fear that kindness will make them “stop trying.” Clinicians seeking to integrate mindful self-compassion, somatic work, and DBT with behavioral protocols. Rural and farming families who need accessible, culturally aware care options. Neurodivergent folks and anyone navigating sensory overload, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. Resources Mentioned Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer DBT skills for emotion regulation and distress tolerance Waterloo-Wellington Eating Disorder Coalition directory and events Carrie’s counseling: flourishwithcompassion.com Instagram: @compassionate_counsellor Related Episodes Self-Compassion in Eating Disorder Recovery with Harriet Frew, MSc @theeatingdisordertherapist_ on Apple & Spotify. Perfectionism & Eating Disorders on Apple & Spotify. Work With Dr. Marianne Miller If you are in California, Texas, or Washington, D.C., I offer therapy for binge eating, ARFID, anorexia, bulimia, OCD, and trauma. Learn more and book a consult at drmariannemiller.com. If ARFID is part of your story or your family’s story, explore my self-paced ARFID & Selective Eating Course for practical, neurodivergent-affirming tools. Share This Episode If this conversation helped you, share it with a friend, a clinician, or a family member. Your share helps more people find self-compassionate, trauma-informed eating disorder support.