Personality Tests [Taleah Vallés-Peters]

You're now listening to Vices and Vultures podcast on cultures. First time we talked about Tilea's your friend, and now we have Tilea 2.0, which Tilea wants to attend to end with friends. So always I wanted people to feel included and they can thrive always. That's just been like who I am as a person.

Like I did the Stringsfinder test, which I think is like Clifton, something now. And I got an included, like that's one of my identifiers. And so part of making sure that people feel included is having them feel comfortable in their own skin and feeling like they can contribute to the conversation, to the activity, whatever it might be. Because a lot of times, especially like I attract introverts, like I'm a light and introverts or moths, because I'm somehow able to like break down barriers and like talk to them.

I might overwhelm them, happens, but I'm able to break down those barriers with them. And so I think personality tests is just one step into helping people thrive and feel comfortable in their own skin. Okay, so I really got into personality tests, A, just because I'm interested in learning more about myself, but also how I can interact with others better, because I want people to feel comfortable and included and that you already kind of said that earlier. So I've done many different personality tests, like there's my Briggs, which you can go to like 16personalities.com or something and do your Myers Briggs.

And that was interesting, but I felt like it was too complex. There's Enneagram, which is super popular right now, but I think it's similar to Myers Briggs, and I think it's too complicated. And I don't really like it because it's complicated. And then there's the disc personality, which I was just recently introduced to.

But again, it's very complicated, but there is one benefit to the disc in that it talks about your natural style and your adapted style. And so you can kind of see how you would be just by yourself and then like when you're in a work situation, it's usually used in the workplace, the disc. And then I've taken the Colby index, which talks about your instincts, like what do you naturally tend to do when it talks about like your follow through, your relationship with data, quick start, abstract thought. And I love that one because it's also, it's very simple to get, and then you can easily connect it with others.

There's only four categories, and then there's different levels with them. And then my ultimate favorite that I found about last year is the four tendencies, and it talks about how people deal with expectation. And I think there are so many different personality tests because different people think different ways. And the four tendencies just really hit the nail on the head for me, like it said I was a rebel, and as I read the book and learned what a rebel was, I was like, oh my goodness, I'm 100% a rebel.

Like this is crazy. And I never had been categorized so well, which a lot of people don't want to be put into a box, but I was okay with this box because it opened up my eyes to what my strengths and weaknesses are and how I could get better at harnessing my strengths. And for me, I also noticed where my weaknesses were, and I was like, I'm not gonna let this define me, if that makes sense. Yeah, I always see personality tests for people who don't really take it to the level that should be as just something that they can add is like a laywoman, we talked about it.

We have been talking about it a lot where people say, oh, because I'm this, I won't do this. Well, that's not how you get to that point of happiness. I feel like everybody in a certain sense wants that sense of happiness. And if they're not working towards learning more about themselves so they could be happier, you gotta know yourself first and know how to learn and spread yourself.

Yeah, and sometimes people are super scared about labels. Like they're like, if I'm labeled this way, I'm gonna be pigeonholed. But working in education, there are some labels that are so helpful. For example, if a student has a certain type of learning difference, well, when the teacher knows what that learning difference is, they can structure their classroom and how they do their assignments to help that student actually accomplish them.

But if they don't know the name of that and they don't know like what is the solution then they're gonna be grasping at straws and being like, I don't know how to student, I don't know what to do. And at the same time, like there's different teaching styles like some or learning styles, like some people might be visual learners, some people might be auditory learners, kinesthetic, but really, like it's good to know that that's one way that you mean, but you're not limited to only learning that way. You always learn through multiple modalities. And so it's also like you got a harness that, okay, this is like if you're a kinesthetic learner, that's great, but the world is set up for auditory learners.

So you're gonna have to learn how to learn that way too. Yeah, I'm actually glad that we had this conversation because I'm one of those people that do not like label. I don't like label at all, but I feel like the way you put it, it's like, this is a good way to learn about yourself because that's gonna help you move forward. Because once you know, like you say your strength and your witnesses makes everything a whole lot easier because you know exactly what you're dealing with.

Like for me, it's like, okay, I don't like to be, I don't wanna be put in this label because they are certain things that I might not have to face for me, like it's more like, okay, I just wanna do things the way that I've been doing it because it's working fine for me. But I feel like by you learning about your own personalities, this gives you a new edge because they are certain things that you like, you know, a whole lot better and that's gonna help you move forward. Yeah, so that's huge. I wonder, there's a quote and I'm totally gonna bodge it.

It's by Dean Coons and he's a writer. And it's basically talking about how humility helps you become a great writer. And he's trying to get to the essence of like, when you understand your insufficiencies, you can work harder because you know what roadblocks you have and what you need to really work on in order to be great. And so you just, you have to push yourself, but you have to be humble and understand like, hey, I'm not good at this type of writing, like whether it might be scene setting or really developing a character.

And when I read that, I'm not a writer, FY, but I'm writing a course for writers, so I'm learning all about that. I realize like, oh man, I can't let my weaknesses define me. I just need to say, hey, this is weakness and I need to allow myself extra time to make sure that I can be as good as the rest. So if someone is really good at creating a strategy, like a strategic plan and I'm not, and they could get it done in one hour, and it's gonna take me six, well, I need to be mindful of that, and I need to give myself the space to do it.

That was the, that was the, that was definitely the, that was definitely the, because the knowledge is the one that I definitely, you know, I'm gonna be looking at things from a different angle now, now that I'm in conversation, because your personality does not own you. I never thought about my, like, this is crazy, because I've never really thought about what kind of personality did I have? And I feel like after, you know, once we are done with this, this is definitely something that I'm gonna be thinking about, like I wanna know exactly what type of, you know? Right.

Yeah. And again, like you might try for tendencies, like take that quiz and like read the book or whatever, and it might not click. You might take Myers-Briggs and be like, oh my goodness. That's the one that I don't want to get to me.

And then you start noticing these characteristics of yourself. And you're like, oh. That's the lying on these steps, too. I'll stay lying on these steps, because whenever I'm taking them, like, I'm not, it's sometimes it's not even that I'm lying, but it's just that I don't know, like, if I fit like a certain, because they give you something, and I'm like, I'm not totally sure.

Right. Like if I fit that category or this category. I'm just gonna pick one of you. Yeah, I'm just gonna pick one of you.

Give it more, you can see what happens. But I feel like this is one of those things that you really have to be honest with yourself. And, you know, and also like, there are certain things that you, like you have to learn about yourself pretty much. Absolutely.

But then that would be like, why you would talk to a friend or something that you trust that knows you really well. So you could be like, you're like, hey, hey, hey, hey, what do you think about this? Like, how do you react? So I would actually suggest you do the disc personality.

And Tony Robbins, he offers a free one. So you could just like Google Tony Robbins, DIC. And because that would have the natural and the adapted personalities, and then it, it'll tell you like, give you some words, identifiers that fit you in those different situations. That could be really interesting.

Because then you could compare them and be like, am I like this just every day with my friends and family? And am I like this at work? Because they have the natural and adapted. And that could be a really good place to like, work on your self-awareness.

And practice answering these questions. Because like any test you take, it takes practice to do it well. Any test you take. So.

You could take the Myers-Briggs wrong. You could take the Myers-Briggs wrong. Because you're actually not, you don't know what they're exactly looking for. So when you read about Myers-Briggs, and learn more about the process and the mindset of how they structured the test, then you can be like, oh, they're looking for this type of answer.

That's necessarily like a fake answer. But this is the mindset that they're coming from. That's so crazy. Because you remember our conversations towards the end of high school I took Myers-Briggs and I got ESTP something crazy like that.

And then I took 16 personalities. I want to take the actual test. I think it's pretty accurate, 16 personalities. But I got INTJ or wait no INFJ.

I think I got an INFJ. And I was just like, oh, this is way more accurate than your SCP. So here's the thing though. With Myers-Briggs and most of these personality tests, as you grow as a person, your personality changes.

I think the one personality test that really doesn't change is the Colby index. Because that one talks about your instinct. So your instincts are usually the same from young to old. You just mature as a person.

And so you're able to be like, oh, I shouldn't do this. I don't want to say that. My hand is actually touch a stove, even though I'm curious. Like I'm naturally curious.

Because I know I'm going to burn myself. So Myers-Briggs will change. And it's interesting. I know if you follow a human something you work at all.

Not really, but I know how to find it. OK, so I love humans of New York because it's about people and understanding their story. And there was recently a story. I think he was in the Netherlands when he interviewed this guy.

So this guy went through crazy trauma in his life and lost his partner. And in the relationship with his partner, he was always cared for. And then when his partner died, he had to be in charge of everything. And he couldn't because he didn't have any practice with that.

He was always relying on someone else. And he was frustrated that he was losing his passport in all these important documents. And he's like, I can't live this way. And so he did a whole 180 personality shift.

And he became super organized and really enjoyed having everything have a place and taking care of things. And he's going to Butler School now. He's like, I just want to care for people. And that wasn't his personality.

That was not his modus operandi at all. But people change. They grow and they develop. And so these personality things, most of them will change as you change.

That's so interesting. He made a whole flip because. Yeah, but I felt like, you know, an interesting thing that I something that I noticed from that is the fact that there was some sort of trauma or that happened as a result of him losing somebody that was very dear to him. I felt like you kind of need something tragic to have a change of personality.

It's not something that happens easily because it's something that's been developing like your entire life for you to get to that point. You know, it was your childhood. It was your, you know, you being at school and all this or everything that you've been through. So for you to just stop and be like, okay, I can't do this anymore.

And just make like a 360. Like you said, that's like a big shift. And you know, you can't just do that. Like a perfect example is how it's our parents.

Like we talked to them so many times and we're like, it's easy that you mentioned that earlier that, you know, your parents know they know you best. So you should listen to them because you grew up with them. And you know, they were the one teaching you and all this stuff. But at the same time, I feel like it is true in that sense, but at the same time, if we were to tell our parents the same thing, they probably wouldn't listen to us.

And the reason why is because it's very difficult for them to change their personality. Like, so there was no, you can tell, I mean, I bet I bet I bet money on this. You can tell that this is not the type of conversations that people were having back then because people were of the idea that you should completely, you know, stick to something. And you know, this is particularly true in the church culture that we know.

Fun fact, I'm interviewing Natalie Bloom's related today. We are interviewing Natalie Bloom's related today. We have the same birthday. I don't know if you knew that.

Yeah, so she was a campaign. She came through the union and like became at home. Well, actually I went to GVR for a ministry trip and found out that we should have the same birthday because we're playing something game. I haven't talked to her about her being Bloom's trip, but you know, obviously you don't get into that.

Anyways, so what was I talking about first? We were talking about parents. Yeah, first and then. And like they didn't have the same concept.

So I'm kind of back on that, Everly. There's this pyramid called Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Have you heard of this? Nursing's kind of, yup.

You know? Yeah, you know this. So the actualization is at the very top. So understanding how to reach one's whole potential and create like, create a this.

But first, psychological needs have to be met, safety has to be met, belonging, feeling loved, then esteem, and then you have self-actualization. Now I think one thing all of us have in common is our parents are from another country. Right, well I guess my dad is from Puerto Rico. It's a territory of the United States, but it's a totally different one.

Right. So like our parents were really focusing on that foundation. Exactly. Of that pyramid.

And they probably haven't had the opportunity to really explore the self-actualization area until just recently because they're not supporting their kids. They actually have time for them because they've been just hustling, straight up. Right, yeah. Now they gave us a really great life.

So we've been able to like really live in that top part of that self-actualization. Yeah, it makes sense because you know you spend so much time worrying about other things that you don't have time to again take time for yourself. And you see that in a lot of different forms. I remember we were talking even before this about the personalities, just that tool was so important.

When I said that my MBTI was way different in high school. It goes back to what you were saying earlier when you were talking about how you don't understand how to answer those types of questions. And part of that comes in being around that language long enough and understanding and oh we got to wrap up in like five. Part of that just comes from understanding the language of just what these things actually mean.

I remember taking a couple other assessments in between this time before I really understood what they meant. And I remember that saying like no, no, no, that's not how you answer these questions. And I'm just like what does that mean? And like I can think about that time then it's just like not having a concept of you know what we call emotional intelligence.

That's what we're talking about. So you know, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, you know personality awareness, whatever you want to call it. But yeah, it's just these tools are important because like I know even for you know somebody like my dad right now I just mentioned him he's going through you know we were just talking about it. What would be a good way to say this he's going through a midlife transformation.

He found this new career like within the past decade or so and then like he's really you know it's really changed the way he's interacting with people. Like family included and extended family like DH and you know even other people. So those tools I know for a fact that if they're presented in the right way when our parents are in Haiti or Puerto Rico or Greece or Philippines wherever y'all from we're listening. Wherever it is like those tools presented in the right way helps a lot a lot on the road.

Like that's facts. Yeah, I think the last thing I just want to leave is just realize that you are going to change because you're constantly developing yourself and you're going to need to reevaluate and readjust often. Like say for example you're at the ocean and your goal is to have your feet in the water and you want your feet to stay on top of the water. Okay, if you just stand right there and the waves come across your feet it's going to bury your feet.

Yeah, I was thinking about how you make the hand. I was just thinking to myself I'm not going to be near the ocean anyway. You guys, I'm California though. I mean, I respect it.

I'm California, New York, New York. Yeah, there's an ocean there too. Yeah, but you know we don't go in it. We stay in the building to look at the ocean.

Well, okay, but here's my analogy. All right, so you're trying to keep your feet on top of the sand, but if you let the ocean waves hit your feet, they will bury your sand. They will bury your feet. So you need to constantly lift your feet up and shake the sand off and stay on top of the sand.

But life is just always going to keep on coming. Those waves are going to keep on coming and you're always going to need to reevaluate your chest. And once you do that, you're going to realize that there's so many different opportunities for you to look at the world. Word.

I like that. I like that. That was great. That was a great California metaphor.

I said metaphor. I like that. Thank you so much for the conversation. It was great.

You know, I love that stuff. We're going to start a big fan of it. You are too now. Yes.

He's a believer. I'm a believer. Yeah. I have a convert.

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