100%. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Winter Bears. I'm Chris Stefano.
This is not me, baby. We are taking over for Tom and Bert. Once again, we did the Summer Bears. We are reluctantly begrudgingly doing it.
We're trying to get the show off the rails. Yeah, I'm doing it with a smile on my face. I'm just not trying at all. Yes.
And people didn't really think we were trying by the end of last time. This will be worse. This is worse. You have maybe four talking points.
We didn't prepare. It's early. Yeah. I haven't had anything to eat.
And then I had just more sugar. I'm literally crashing. Right. I might just have, I might fall into a diabetic coma.
Yes. The Jets are currently beating the Ravens 7-0. Talking about it in a moment, right now. It's gonna be really funny when this comes out in like six months.
Yeah. They just have these in like a bank of like, if anyone has a heart attack, they'll put one of these out. These aren't even anchored to any time. They're just like, whatever, man.
We just need, you never know when we need a substitute episode. Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, Bert's been dead for a year and Leanne's just trying to get the money because she realized Bert screwed up the will.
Yeah, they're trying to make it seem like, they're not trying to announce his death until they can mandate a really, a huge life insurance policy on Bert. Yeah, Bert's. Actually, for real, I would be shocked if YMH is not working on just AI podcasting, where they can just plug all the stories Bert and Tom have told. They're not even gonna need us.
You have no idea how low on the priority list this podcast is for Tom and Bert. I mean, literally, Tom opened up a croissant shop called like Giobamba something, La La Bamba. It's like, I mean, fat little boy in Italian. He said, I'd rather bake croissants than do the podcast.
Something he has no expertise in. No. Which is actually, I mean, it's here. It's in Venice.
It's in Austin. So go check it out. But it is one of those. Where does it start?
Does he, I'm sorry, he got, he lost weight and then got into pastries? That's what it makes sense. Yeah, I know. It's a, and he's another one.
He lost weight without Ozempic, I believe. I don't know that that's true. That's true. Maybe it's not true.
He just, if he didn't do Ozempic, he like, he's on like adrenochrome. Tom is on some shit that like only rich people know about for sure. Yeah. He just has an IV attached to a baby.
He's getting stem cells directly from a, it's actually going to a pregnant lady's fucking pussy. He's just getting the stem cells. They're just having a slow motion abortion into his bloodstream. Yeah.
I mean, it is, it is fascinating how this podcast has just become, I mean, what, literally he's like, I'll do anything else. And maybe because he was like, what about opening up a croissant shop? Like she did it as a bit and he was like, you know what? Done.
He's like, let's do it. Yes, done. Just croissants. Is that all they do?
I'm interested in this. It's baked good. It says right now they're at the fairground food hall below the Wells Fargo building. So if you guys are looking for a, you know, a lot of, you know, I know you podcast fans, Focaccia too.
Oh, focaccia. I'm a big focaccia guy. Yes. If you guys are looking for a, uh, assassination attempt, you want to go to the Wells Fargo building and go to the fairground food hall and just look for the guy in a pour Osos merch and the other guy that has no shirt on who looks like a croissant.
I love focaccia. It's the best. If I had to rank my breads, we're going focaccia is probably number one. And then a nice sourdough, a crusty sourdough and then a country loaf.
Dude, it's focaccia is number one. And I'll never forget. I was literally sitting at Shadowed O'Neill's bar once again in Massapequa. I'm sitting on my boards talking to my boy.
I just banged like a 12. Yeah. And he had banged her the night before. We're all, you know, Sunday football.
A 12 year old. Yes. Yes. Remember, this is Islam.
So we've converted. So you're right. Straight for Islamic, gay for Catholics. Exactly.
Now we're talking. That's the common ground that Italians can come up with with Muslims. But I remember that, you know, our friend comes in and he bangs hot chicks. Actually, that's not fair.
I believe Afghan warlords also had a bunch of boys. Yes. Was that a big thing? Like, like troops would come back and they would have to like, they were talking about how weird it was that like everyone they were talking to.
Yeah. I'd like boys, boy slaves. But don't forget about the OGs. There are people, the Greeks loved the boys back in the day.
What you needed to do to get to the philosophy when your brain is working overtime. You don't have time to go out and court a woman. No. Appliance boy.
No. Socrates said it. He said the way that he was able to get his thoughts was prepubescent cock. That's right.
You would teach him a trigonometry and then suck him off. That was the Greek way. That's what it was. By the way, you really retain information.
Hundred percent. If it's like memorize this equation and you'll get your dick sucked. I would have been pretty good at geometry. Even if it was from, I guess I wouldn't have loved if it was like a balding bearded guy.
Right. I would prefer to be a woman, but hey, whatever it is, it is. I mean, I still homeschool my kid with a sex worker. Hundred percent.
I'm into it. And so this guy came in. We're in mass myth. We're at the bar drinking.
He comes in, bags his hot chick. You know, we saw it's meta net four is great. And then he was like, yeah, dude, I was going down. It goes.
And then my boy was like, oh yeah, I really want her pussy tastes like. And he went, her pussy tasted like focaccia. We were like, what? He had a yeast infection.
That's what I said. You should probably go to the hospital, dude, because that is made with yeast. Yeah. Yeah.
Little spring of rosemary on the glint. I'll do it. Yes. Focaccia, man.
You know, I, I, so I, I like Tom's ideas here just baking bread. And this is following a trend of comedians. Our good friend, Tom Papa gets into sourdough. Old, old, old school bread.
Yes. In fact, I wonder if Tom's pissed that I wonder if Papa's pissed that Tom's coming on his bread corner. Yeah. You know, he's going to get a very polite shakedown.
Well, it is. It is a good trend for us here as comedians because like a couple years ago, the main thing to do was like you get, you know, successful in comedy and then you get into conspiracies and backing presidential candidates and all that stuff. At least now the big guys are just getting into bread. Bread.
That's nothing wrong with bread. Just getting a little bread. It's healthy. It's not hurting anybody.
Like, so I do appreciate Tom starting a new trend for successful guys getting into bread. Getting it. Oh yeah. Yeah.
I was right there. He's like, need bread. Yes, exactly. Yeah.
Tom is doing anything he can to hold on to the bread corner of the comedy. I would be fucking pissed if I'm Papa. Yes. Like he's already got a vodka brand.
It's like, what are you? What else do you want? How much do you need Tom? It's like, you have a Netflix show.
You have arena tours and now you've got to take my sourdough from Tom Papa. It's like, hello, Tom Papa. It's like, dude, I'm doing a fricking series show with Fortune Feimster. I'm trying to get that marriage ref money.
That's right. And all I had, I was doing good selling fricking bread. Yeah. And now here you come.
It's despicable, Tom. Come on. Get off my boy. Papa's corner.
Well, you know what? I'll save my focaccia. Well, how about this? There's a place in Baltimore did a cheesesteak on focaccia.
Marone. Mama Mia. And you would let the juices fucking, this is the fat math I would do. Like you would, I would get the cheesesteak and I would let it sit like seven minutes just so the juices went into the focaccia.
Yeah. And it got, it got just absolutely saturated with cheesesteak juice, but it was to the point where it was still crispy. And if you ate it before it got soggy, it was like fucking alchemy, dude. Beautiful.
It was, it was, oh, I could write a poem about it. Dude, the site. Yeah. You're writing a haiku on cheesesteak.
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Go to rakuten.co.uk or get the app. That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N. So, but, but anyway, so I just, you know, it's dripping all the time. And so they actually said like, look, we got to check your prostate.
I was like 27 years old or something like that. And they were like, we got to check out your prostate. And I remember the nurse or nurse practitioner, whoever, she was like an old school Russian lady. And she was like, you know, they laid me on the table and she was like, have you ever done this before?
And I was like, uh, no. She's like, okay, baby, this not gonna feel good. And she goes, but we have to do this check. You're okay.
And then I remember as she was putting the tube, like a real deal tube, this is like, well, whatever the machine, I don't know if it was a tube, but it was like a, it was like a machine that was. One of those silicone fists. Exactly. Yeah.
To use, to use, to like check the prostate. She was doing it and she saw me, like I was like laid on my side and I was like, like this. And she saw you go, ah. And she puts the tube, she's like, ah.
Yeah. Yeah. I'm like opening my mouth. She's like, no, no, no, no.
This isn't in the box. You're putting your fingers in your mouth. Yeah. I'm like, can you choke me?
And so she's putting the thing up my butt with her right hand and just petting my head with her left. And you're nutting. Just calming me down. I'm smelling her fingers.
Getting something up your ass and an affectionate pat is crazy. It was crazy, dude. And she told me after, she's like, I just felt so terrible for you. Wow.
And then, but I was fine. Everything was fine. Um, but I do, and then when I was 17, I actually thought I had an STD. This is how, you know, stupid, like I had had sex with one girl.
Right. It was that clear, uneducated, like. Me too. Catholic school life.
And I thought I had AIDS. Yeah. Dude, me too. I got jerked off.
Yeah. And I was like, I have an STD. Sure. And it was the first, because I, I was about to, I was like seeing, uh, I had a college girlfriend and I was finally going to get to have sex.
I didn't fuck until college. But before that, I just like a girl, a random girl like touched my dick in a random hookup that went horribly. Like I couldn't get hard. I was like too drunk to get hard and nervous to get hard.
But I was like, she's some dirty bitch. She's got whatever was on her fingernails got into my dick hole. And now I have fucking AIDS. So I got like an STD.
And they made me do the whole, like in hindsight, it's just like you're so stupid and uneducated about, about sex. I had to get the Q-tip swab. That's what I, in the tip of the dick and it hurt so bad. It's like the feeling.
And it was so, dude, I just imagine you getting jerked off in like the parking lot of Towson University on the outskirts of Baltimore. No, I never had luck at Towson, even though they were apparently they were sluts, but it never worked out for me. I heard they're big time whores there. And then Rutgers is the other one in New Jersey called Sluts.
Big STD school. Yes. I went to St. Joe's.
Of course it called St. Hoes. And, uh, but beautiful, beautiful, gorgeous. But yeah, I do.
I gotta be honest. It is now not like I'm 41 years old. And even though my life at times of course is chaotic, there's a degree of, as we said on the last episode, overwhelmingness that comes over me, but it is good to know that like you're with one woman, you're locked in with your family. Like the, the, the calmness of not having to worry that you have an STD outweighs banging the chick.
Yeah. And I, I have to live through that to find like this is, I like this. Who are these people giving you chlamydia? Do you remember?
Do you remember like their demographics? Do you remember anything about them? Does it all run together? It all.
I would say, you know, it was one of those things where back in those days I would, you know, I just started comedy. So I would assume I was having sex with like with the same kinds of women as the other comics were having sex in the New York city open mic scene. The dregs of society. Exactly.
Yes. Yes. The, the people whom, uh, you know, you watch headline arenas now sharing, we're sharing women, um, back, back in those days. I, I don't know.
You don't remember a single one. I was never able to pin down who or why. I just, you know, I just got it. But this again, I was like, sometimes it's worth it.
Right. Sometimes you get a type of head. Yeah. Like I got some just tremendous head and a girl texted me and she was like, she had something weird.
It was like scabies. It was like some kind of like dirty disease. Pirate's dude. It was insane.
She's like, I have rickets. She's like, I need some vitamin C. Yeah. It's scurvy.
Can you look at what scabies is? I think it was scabies, but scabies, isn't it like, that's like a, like skin disease, right? That's like lice. Is it scabies like a lice?
caused by a tiny burrowing mite called, yes, she had a kind of, she had, she went to some kind of like, she went to like a retreat in a yurt somewhere. Oh my God. And they got scabies. And she was like, bang in Mongolia.
Look, she was great. I mean, I, I don't know what she's up to. I might hit her. Literally.
She was so cool. Hot. And the head and pussy were so good that I was like, yeah, scabies, shmaebies. And I didn't have it.
But it was also before my special taping. So I'm like, am I going to do this special with scabies? I'm going to have a fucking rash in my underwear. Did you know the Mark Norman story?
No. So dude, I've, we did our Comedy Central half hour specials. This, we did it in Boston in like 2013 or 14. But anyway, Mark Norman, he's talked about this openly, did that special with full blown, like out of control, Benjamin Franklin level syphilis.
And he had to take this. Pull up Mark Norman half hour Comedy Central presents. Look at how swollen his face is when you look back. And then pull up that picture.
Look at Mark Norman's face. He's like having like a reaction. Yeah. To some kind of, the medicine wasn't working and like a full blown, like medically.
Look at how fat and bloated his face is. That's it. And he talks about how he just was, you know, like out. He was like in full syphilis, like founding father level condition.
Like he does look like shit. Look at his face there. That's not what Mark looks like now. I mean, he was always, he was a little fatter back then because I feel like he was hitting the booze harder.
Right. But that is even another level. Like he has a straight, like that looks like a fat guy. No, because he has, he's having like some type of a reaction to the penicillin given to him.
That's crazy. Because he needed it because he couldn't get through the set. Wow. Yeah.
Yeah. So syphilis is, you know, that's a crazy one to get He really does look like the Pope. It's so fucking funny. Exactly.
So I don't really know much about him. What do you think? I mean, look, as far as Popes go, he seems pretty good. He had lunch with some trans women recently.
He also talked about how ICE, what they're doing with ICE is un-Christian and like we should be helping our neighbors. And it's like, just because people are refugees doesn't mean you're allowed to treat that. You just snatch them up off the street. When he says that, that made my friends kind of head-sit.
They're like, wait, what? The Pope said what we're doing ain't good? Yeah, it is funny because you know, he is really, as far as popes go, he seems pretty good. I mean, look, as far as Popes go, he seems pretty good.
Sometimes I still snap off a little bit to Dolly Parton. Sure. Yeah. Sure.
Again, young Dolly. Great stuff. And he really did a lot for the humongous tits community. Yes.
There was not really a mainstream celebrity with really over-the-top huge tits. Right. And she really was one of the first. Yes.
So she's a pioneer in that sense. She's a pioneer in gigantic tits. Yeah, that's funny. I put it up there with bath thoughts on Netflix.
Yeah, it's just as impressive a cast. Yes. Maybe, you know, bath thoughts. That's my guy who works with me, Steve Chaconne Rice-a-Ronnie.
He's a little guy. So he's good for sometimes a little fetish guy. He's got a small dick. We'll put him in a diaper.
Yes. He'll have a rattle and he'll googoo gaga while he sucks your dick. 100%. My, the producer of History Hyenas, Jesse Scutero, he's into sculpting and he's more of an artiste.
So a little more highbrow. He'll kind of get banged out and then sculpt a man's penis while he's laying there in the pool of his own jizz. We could get good old Jamie. That's high.
That's a big ticket item. That's the thing. Jamie, that'll cost you a million dollars. To fuck Jamie is like, now that's like Prince Andrew.
Dude, you know, like these loser tech AI guys. They would love to fuck a podcast producer. 100%. See them all just coming in.
Just blowing a load all over Jamie. This is a good idea, man. Yeah, I think so. So again, I think the guys were onto something here.
Let's not forget, look, we can't forget Eddie. He's also got to get his ass fucked too. He's in there. Somebody wants a little caramel prick.
You know what I mean? He's trying to go. He's trying to sneak away from the camera. He's at the far end of the frame.
It's all fun and games until you, until you make a black guy gay. And then they're like, no, no, fuck that, I'm not going to fuck with that. That's the white boy shit. Yeah, this is absolutely white boy coded.
These are white boy riffs if I've ever heard them. Yeah, yeah. Talking about pimping out your male friends. But that's true, you know.
I think pimping, you know, let's make it, let's make it intergender. Yes. That way, you know, women pimp out women. Men pimp out men.
Yeah, yeah. Kind of ancient Greek about it. And to be honest, New York City might be the spot for it because Momani wants to legalize prostitution. But that could work for us in a big way.
Sure, yeah, that's true. We can keep my apartment in Queens and that can be the whorehouse. Yeah. Everyone can come in.
One room is the podcast room. The other room is. Well, actually, here's what we do. We put a glory hole that leads directly to the producer's booth.
They get at the same time. Yeah. Suck dick while they're editing a fucking episode. Make it easy for them.
Yeah. Get a sponsor. It's all sponsored by liquid death. We'll need a lube sponsor.
Yeah. So this is an actual viable operation because what this is what, you know, where people are getting bored with just the podcast. People are getting bored with just the stand-up. So if you have, you know, simultaneously your producers in a prostitution ring against their will, but we have cameras on that.
Then the fan will say, you know what? Maybe I will join your Patreon. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, we'll put the glory hole dick sucks behind the paywall too.
Yes, which is this, you know, it's capitalism. And that's the way we, that's using every part of the buffalo. Charge the guy, get his dick sucked. We charge other guys to watch the guy get his dick sucked.
100%. Yeah. Because just being in the studio, business is rubbing off on you. Yes, you do become a businessman.
Yes. Now this is, we have to get this idea out and patented before it's done at Skankfest. Oh my God. I'm actually, I bet you this is happening already at Skankfest.
Louis is 100% pimping out, but they're not even producers. They're unpaid interns. He's like, you want to make it in this business? I mean, they look DeRosa.
Remember when he hooked up with that trans girl? Sure. That's essentially what we're talking about. Dude, I remember us going home to my family.
I was at that Skankfest. I remember going home to like, you know, jazz with the kids in bed. And she's like, so babe, how was like your weekend? And I'm like, you know, it was great.
And then I'm just like, you know, because you get so immersed in comedy and you know, you forget like our wives and family members are like not in comedy every day as we are. They're more normal people where we're, of course, more abnormal people. Of course. And so I'm telling her, she's like, how was it?
I'm like, oh, it was great. And I'm telling her like, as if it would get a laugh. I'm like, oh yeah. And then DeRosa got like sucked off by a trans person.
Like in front of the audience who came in five seconds. I'm telling it like how crazy it is. Like, oh my God. And she was like, I want you to really reevaluate who you hang out with in this business.
Because she was like, you know, you have a family. You have like, I don't know why you're around these types of people anymore. And I'm like, no, it's funny. I was like, come on.
He's got sucked off. Like, he's cool with it. And she was like, Chris, like I'm going to go to bed. And I just want you to really think about what's going on.
Wake up tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Damn.
Yeah. It is funny, but it is like that is the one where it's like, it's like, here's the thing. Him hooking up with a fan after the show. Great.
But the fact that everyone knows that he's just in another room actively getting his dick sucked and he comes back saliva still drying on his fucking prick. And he's like, goes back to riffing. Yeah. That's insane.
That's insane. And I tip my cap to skanks for that. And the beauty of all that is Lewis Gomez's cowboy hat never moved an inch. Yeah.
And then, so we got, so now, so it's very interesting is here we are doing winter bears. Tom's got the pastry shop. So then he's got bath thoughts. And now, now Bert has said, you know what?
This is not bad. I don't want to do podcasts. He said, let me go do the medium that even less people watch a sitcom. Bert said, let's do a multicam Netflix sitcom.
Now, I'm making fun of Bert here, but in reality, I also have a sitcom. That's fine. Did not get picked up. Well, I just want to say, so.
He's just doing the thing you've been trying desperately to do for eight years. How many pilots has it been, Chris? Nine. Yes.
0 for 9. Yes. And the idea is just like, you know, Italian and a Puerto Rican wife, basically. Yeah, like so far, like I make fun of this, but so far it's like Bert's living this amazing career.
And my career is just, I'm like Bert if he never made it out of Tampa. If he was just a guy outside Splitter's. That's me. Yeah, I know.
But so Bert's got that sitcom out, so I don't know when that's coming out, but obviously check that out on Netflix. But I, my guess is, if they, if we do somehow get convinced to come back here and do spring bears. Yeah, we will be back here for spring bears. Yeah.
Probably, if I had to guess. Yeah. I don't know, you know, what are we gonna do? Maybe we should do it.
We did this one in Austin. We did New York, Austin. Maybe we go somewhere tropical for spring bears. That's an interesting one.
Make them fly us out somewhere to an island. Oh yeah. Yeah, maybe we do it on Epstein's Island. That'd be awesome.
He's empty. They're not using it now. Yeah, as I said, as I said. We're doing the YMH Island.
Yeah, I'm not doing it on Bert's cruise. No. I refuse to do that. Yeah, let's look into getting Epstein's Island.
Okay. That way we can do, then we can run a little pilot program. Yeah. Of our other idea, wink wink.
Yeah. Don't worry about it, Bency. Yeah. Just show up and, hey, don't, just have clear broth for a couple days before we come out.
No chili. Nothing. No dairy. Yes.
Let's keep that intestine clear. Yeah. Yeah, and again, if you could just, you know, just because we really wanna pump the first one. If you could really just kind of go on Matteo Lane's Instagram and just watch kind of what he looks like, what he does.
And then just get prepared because we might have a nice surprise guest for that first opening. Well, actually, that's a good point. Would it be easier to find a ripped gay guy and teach him podcast producing or to try and make podcast producers hot? Some of the most disgusting looking people on Earth.
You know, because they're like, they're like comedians who don't have to be in front of the camera. So it's like, that's the only thing. This is like, imagine how horrible I'd look if I wasn't photographed hours a week. This is me trying.
Imagine if I was a podcast producer how much like shit I would look. So maybe we got the wrong idea. Now, having said that, we're not gonna spare Benson's hole. He's gonna get, he's gonna get, we're gonna run a train run through him.
But let's also try a pilot program where we teach a gay guy, or like a promiscuous gay man who wants to be pimped out, we teach him podcast producing. Yes. And then we see who's the better boy whore slash producer. And then the fans are incentivized to stay with us for the next 8 to 12 weeks to see who's gonna win.
And then, you know, they can vote. And it's a whole thing. And then you got, this is how you get social media involved. I love this.
And all those things. So I think that that is a genuinely, a genuinely good idea. Mm-hmm. That, yeah, that I would assume Bert and Tom are willing to put their money into producing as long as it means they don't have to sit in a room and do the podcast.
I think they'd rather watch their producer be blue than sit down and do a podcast. He's like, yeah. He's like, sounds good to me. Sent from my iPhone.
You know what I mean? It's just never. Cool. Just not even just a thumbs up emoji.
Sent from my iPhone. Yeah. I'm like, all right, great. I don't care.
Yeah, so I think that, that it, it's interesting. It's interesting. You know, we weren't talking there. What do you think they're doing with Epstein's Island?
Right now. That's a nice real estate. Well, I'll tell you this. Speaking of real estate, I'll tell you this.
Me and Yanni, we're looking for a new history studio in downtown Manhattan. So we go, the real estate, the real estate. How's it looking? I'm looking as well.
So it's looking, certain parts are good. If you really, I mean, it's actually, it's good that you asked this. If you really want to get a good deal, you might have to get in with some kind of nefarious adjacent people. So we go and we go to this place.
It's this loft-like spot that's dope. That's a couple of Gs less than every other place we looked at. And the realtor says, you know, you might recognize this guy. It's all good.
You know, he bears resemblance to a guy that's very famous, but he's a good dude. He's all, everything's good. You know, he like lives here on one side of the loft, but he's almost never here. And, you know, he's here right now because he wants to show you this spot and he wants to give you guys a great deal.
So we go, the elevator doors open and we look at this guy and we're like, kind of looks familiar, but me and Yannis are kind of looking at each other. And the whole time we're looking at the space, like, who is this dude? So we go. Incredible deal.
The place is awesome. You're like, what's the catch? What's the catch? And he's very well put together.
He had like a scarf on, very well put together. And he's kind of funny and he's very charismatic. And we're like, this is interesting. It's in a great location.
It's got like perfectly set up for podcasting. And me and Yannis are looking at him and whatever. And then he goes, you know, we're all done. And he gets into the elevator with us and he goes, so what do you guys think?
And Yannis was like, you know what? Started like, we really, we like this. And he goes, okay. He goes, well, I'll give you my card.
Give us this card. He goes, you call me when you wanna make a deal. This place is yours. I'll hold it for you for a week and it's yours.
So we get out and we look at the card and we look at it and then it hits us who it is. His name was Mark Epstein. It was Jeffrey Epstein's brother. Shut the fuck up.
Google Mark Epstein. Jeffrey Epstein's brother tried to sell us a podcast space. Are you kidding me? You were considering renting studio space from Mark Epstein?
Yes! Oh my God. And then when we hit it, we were like, should we do it? And then, so the guy in the Epstein, should we do it?
I was like, it is a great deal. It's better than doing it over the stand, those fucking criminals. Who do you wanna be with, the Italians or the Epstein's? You just wanna fucking record a podcast where they had like 15 Russian teenagers penned in fucking weight.
They just had them, they had them in little stalls the way you have puppies in a fucking, like a breeding mill. They have like little cereal dry feeder and then a water bottle. And then fucking billionaires would come through and be like, hmm, I'll take that one and that one. C7?
Yeah, like a vending machine. A vending machine. Holy shit. Yeah, so that's why the deal was so good.
So if you're looking for a really good deal, he's the guy. I'm not. I'm not looking for that level of deal. Well, because him and I were like, you know what?
We were like, we can't possibly do it there because then we're like, what happens if like, we're filming the podcast and then there's some like nut who just wants to get revenge and he thinks that Mark Epstein's still there and then he just blows up the podcast studio and we get killed. And by the way, this isn't like, okay, it's Epstein's brother, but you know, they have different lives. He was the president of his brother's investment company and executive of Osa property. So he is involved.
And he's the one who was emailing him about Trump sucking Clinton's dick. Really? That was the one we were talking about. Bubba sucked him off.
Oh, interesting. Listen, in fairness, I only met him briefly. He's a very nice guy. Very nice, charming, charismatic guy.
I don't know really anything about what he did in his life with his brother. But I'm just saying in the flesh, nice man and a very good podcast deal. If it saves you $1,500 between you and Yanis, $750 a month, it's okay to podcast in a place where unspeakable evil has occurred. Listen, it's all, as I told you, I'm into investing now as well.
It's all about compounding. It's all about compounding interest. Oh my fucking God. You really, that you legitimately met Mark Epstein.
We had no idea going in, but we were like, whoa. And it was kind of one of those moments where we're standing on whatever street in the city and we were like, as soon as we saw the name, it was like, whoa. Because when you first see him, he looks like him. You're like, dude, I do make a Greek yogurt pizza crust.
Oh, really? Greek yogurt and flour and you just fucking bake it. And you can make it feel like a pita or like a pizza dough. Interesting.
And then I put... I put a little fucking sauce, fat-free cheese, which has a ton of protein, and I do turkey pepperoni. And when I'm fiending for a fucking slice of pizza, I'll do that. Dude, the main thing, because I had my cholesterol was 300.
It was like so through the roof. Now I got it all the way down to like 205 or something. Yeah. And the main thing I did is just change from Italian food to Greek food.
I just literally, every time I wanted Italian, I'd go Greek. Come down, come a little further down the peninsula. Grilled chicken, salmon, lemon potatoes, hummus, you know, some veggies. But like, so it's not like, because I think sometimes people don't stick to a diet.
It's like, I got to eat salads and stuff. It's like, you really actually don't. You just have to eat higher. I mean, you could if you want, but dude, some veggies and chicken or salmon and lemon potatoes and a little hummus.
I mean, you're still a little bit of a bad boy with the pitas and stuff. But you're not, but you're good. You're better. I want to go to like one of those fucking like health clinics.
Like, like everything is like, I don't want, I have no issue with hair plugs. I love, I love being, I think you're a coward if you get hair plugs. You know, I face, I face my mortality head on. 100%.