Piranha (1978)

close enough. Can you bonus? Can you bony? I guess I should have said, ooh, Piranha.

Piranha. Piranha. So, no one did a Piranha. I don't think.

So the three I caught were Piranha. Yeah. Piranha. Which is what you say if you're British.

Yeah. And if you're from the south, you say, dang Piranha. If you're like the, uh, if you're like the O fish, uh, sheriff. Right.

Sheriff's deputy. Dang Piranha. Dang Piranha. Yeah.

Oh, hi, Dan. How you been? Very good. How are you?

You're very good. I'm great. I got, well, the show's over. Oh, my show.

Yeah, I know you're not very good or you wouldn't be here doing this with me. I think I'm a snoo. You can't be that good. Yeah.

I don't know, man. You're sitting in a, an un-air conditioned room. Yeah, it's a, it's a brisk 92 in here. Um, I got the fan going, but it's blowing around hot air.

That's nice. It's sort of a convection oven. Yeah. I'm an air fryer.

Yeah, I'm an air fryer. I'm an air fryer in myself right now. Alright. So what do we call in this series?

Do we, we didn't come up with anything? Did I have a pitch if you want it? Yeah, please. Do you have anything?

No, I'm like, besides dante's inferno. I mean, that's it. Check this out. Yeah, yeah.

Dante, speak. Dante's speaking. Speaking about the films of Joe Dante. Yeah.

That's perfect. Dante's speaking. Yup. I love it.

Dante's speaking part one. Because he's that he's made more than four movies. Right. Yeah.

Chances are we'll be back. Yeah, the idea. So we're going to do four movies by, I mean, just one of the best directors, Joe Dante. And yeah, so I don't even think, I mean, if these are going to be released in June or whenever we're July, yeah, we're just doing four of them.

It doesn't have to be the whole month. Like, we're going to say like, I want to stick with like that, like kind of fast and loose. Yeah, I kind of like just doing whatever, yeah, whatever pleases us. Right.

So we're going to, yeah, we're still going to do that. But in this case, we're just going to do four by Joe Dante. And the first one here, the one we're talking about this week is it's not his very first movie, but it's the first one where he's, it seems like he directed it all by himself. The, I guess the first one is, I think it's Hollywood Boulevard.

I think so, right? Is that the one that's like four hours long and it's a lot of like footage from other things sort of cobbled together? It's not now it's an hour 20. Oh, okay.

Do you know what I'm talking about? I think so, yeah. That's like it's like a corman thing, but I can't remember anything about it besides I want detail. So yeah, so watching for a podcast directed by Joe Dante produced by Roger Corman.

I mean, Roger Corman, come on. This is like, Joe Dante is one of Corman's guys. All of the all of Corman's guys, it's like, he's got this whole roster of like directors that came out of his like school of filmmaking, you know, it's like, friggin Marty. Yeah, Marty fucking like, who else?

I can't think anybody wasn't like Francis or Coppola was one of them. Who else? Bogdanovich was one of them, you know, just like all these huge like legendary fucking directors. And then this was written by John Sales, who was also, I didn't know was a corning guy.

Yeah, he's a corning out screenplays for Roger Corman. Yes. And he's, I think he's done some like other big, you know, big time movies also, but yeah. So Roger Corman, I mean, there's been a couple documentaries on Roger Corman and like every time it's just like, it's fucking fascinating.

Yeah. Roger Corman's whole like deal is he finds whatever thing is like big, and then he just kind of makes a movie about that. So like, Jaws was huge. So this is his Jaws knockoff.

It's called Piranha. It's a Jaws knockoff that explicitly references Jaws. Right. In the first like five minutes or 10 minutes, whatever, somebody's playing a Jaws video game, which is, I mean, that's great.

That is such like a, it's the perfect attitude to have as like a filmmaker or producer of films. We're just like, oh yeah, there's what you slobbed like. Okay. But he's such like a business man about it.

He's just like, just make some make the movie. You just have to make the picture. Yeah, it actually doesn't matter. One of my favorite things that from watching one of the documentaries or whatever was that like all of his movies, this one is over, I think it's over 90 minutes, but most of his movies or whatever, he wanted them under 85 minutes, right?

That was a very specific call. Which for a movie to be? Right. Well, it's a perfect length for a movie.

You know, you get in, get out. But also, when you're sending the film reels around to movie theaters around the country, it just so happens that like if it's 85 minutes, it comes in two canisters, and if it goes over 85 minutes, it comes in three canisters. So it's cheaper to send it to movie theaters if it's under 85 minutes. Like, I love that.

I love that. If only he had lived to see the flat rate shipping box from USPS, or lost his mind. I mean, Roger Korman is still alive. So yeah, may he rest, may he rest.

That old bag of bone Roger Korman, do me a favor, rest in power. Okay. Well, fucking Jonathan Demi, another Korman guy. Was he really?

I didn't know that one. Yeah. Okay. Moving on.

Jack Nicholson, obviously, what's named Peter Fonda, like a easy rider and all that was in tennis hopper. Yeah. All of that stuff. Like that was the scenes that they filmed in New Orleans, in Easy Rider.

That was like on, you know, on weekend, the weekend or something, when they weren't filming some Roger Korman movie, they were like, they just borrowed the cameras and the film, and they just like went around and did acid and like filmed it and shit, and ended up in Easy Riders. Wow. Yeah, it's great. I just can't believe he's gone.

Too soon. Too soon. How old is he? Oh, he's like 90 something or other.

An ancient thing? Yeah, 90, 96. Oh, yeah. Wow.

Born April 5th, 1926. I don't know how old that makes him, but that's a 95. 95. 95.

So he's making movies? I mean, he's he's still got his name on production as an executive producer as of this year. So God bless. Yeah.

Yeah. Really, really too bad about him. But you know what? Like, I feel like Roger Korman, he may like be movies and stuff, right?

Like the original Little Shop of Horrors was a Roger Korman movie, the one in the early 60s. But I feel like there's more like, there's more charm to those movies than I think the company is like asylum that does them. But they do instead of like Alien versus Predator, it's like Alien versus the Hunter or something. Oh, yes.

Transmorphers. Yeah, exactly. Transmorphers. They're like sci-fi original movies, basically.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I wonder if that's just like, you know, this can't happen just because like the culture is too self-aware now, and the people who make who, you know, get tasked to make those kinds of things.

They're just like, they're products of pop culture in a way that like, I know that like Marty and the boys also are, or may they all rest in peace. But you know, clearly there was like a vision beyond just like genre regurgitation. Right. And like epic bacon jokes.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you know, he had to know, you know, he might not have known that like Marty Sworzeza was going to be Marty Sworzeza, but he had to know that this kid's got talent. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's like what they say about working on these things is like you just had to get it that you had to learn how to make a movie.

Right. Yeah. I mean, which is just like, I don't know, that's just the coolest like shit to hear about is, you know, he's like, here's whatever $250,000 in 1974 money. You know, here's the script.

You have, you know, three weeks to shoot this movie. And you have to do it. Yeah. There's no like, you can't get out of it.

Like that's that's your job. And there's no failing at it. You just do it. You know, it's so funny though, is like watching Piranha, I felt like you see every dollar of this movie on that screen.

Oh, yeah. And it just translates into like an old Jeep and like a boat exploding. That by the way is the funniest thing. I love that boat.

Did you laugh out loud? I laughed out loud. Unbelievable. Incredible.

Yeah. Oh my God. And it's so funny that like, yeah, right. Like this is a, do they call these like exploitation movies because you're like exploiting the popularity of something else?

I guess. I mean, you know, Jaws like, on a bunch of like knockoff movies like Orco was another one. So whatever, you know, free willy. Yeah.

Free willy. You could call it whatever. Like, point being, I mean, like, this is a, this, this is in the wake of Jaws. And it's so funny that that even seems to kind of translate the idea that like, you know, people talk, people say like the thing about Jaws is like, you don't see Jaws for most of the movie.

It's like, you don't see all you see the Piranhas are like a child's like mobile of like fish silhouettes until the very end. Then you see their little teeth. Yeah. So I hadn't seen this.

I also had not seen this is my first time watching it. It's a fun and absolute delight. It really was. Really?

So we're recording this the same day, right after we recap the first five episodes of the goddamn Miss 2017. Yeah. And this is where we'll drop in, jump into the fire, but instead of the fire, it's the Miss 2017. Jump into the Miss 2017.

Yes. Yeah. And that, I mean, it's just the absolute opposite. This is so economical and fun and like all the characters have like a clear deal in there.

Yeah. Right. You're like, not that you're watching this movie, right? You're watching Piranha and you're like, okay, this is, you know, for all intents purpose, it's a silly movie.

It's about, you know, killer fish that are, you know, chomping on people and you're like these characters and stuff. I care about these characters more than the ones in the mist, right? And like, why, why is that? In this like cheap movie with like silly special effects and stuff, do I care about these people more than this other like more realistic quote, unquote movie or TV show, whatever.

Like, it's just, it's just better. It's just like, I don't know what else is like, like, these characters actually seem like real people. And I don't know, just their circumstances and stuff, just their reactions to everything. It's just like, it, it rings more true to me than bullshit in the mist.

Look, I think we've all had that one summer. Yeah. No, I mean, it's just great. And then you got like, fucking dick miller, just unbelievable.

That is, I don't, I work, that's kind of getting ahead of ourselves because he doesn't show up until like the last part of the movie, I guess. But, um, I don't know, just like everyone, Bradford Dilman, Paul Grogan, sort of our, into hero. I know a lot of people like, you know, this is technically like a knock off of jaws and stuff, but it's not, it's not like a full on knock off. I don't see this as like, this is not like a beat for beat kind of thing.

Like at first, I thought it might be because like, you know, in the opening scene, you have a couple like going for a swim and, and they get eaten by Ron and you're like, well, that's very similar to the beginning of Jaws. But then, then it takes like some very strange turns and like, there's a mad scientist character. Yes. There's a, there's a mad scientist.

The army is involved. The army is in cahoots with this like small time business and dude. Okay. I just got to say, I just got to say about dick miller.

Yeah. That's the funniest fucking thing when he in his like New York accent on the phone, when he's like, I give you my word as a Texan. You're like, what? Because at that point, they don't really set him up, I don't think.

So, it's like this weird fucking, yeah, like what? Yeah. And then to have him doing that like really bad southern accent as like his, his public persona, Gardner is good stuff. It's just good stuff.

It's good stuff. Yeah. You were saying, so we have our main character, Grogan, right? Yes.

We got our Grogan. Grogan. So, just some like a, you know, Dante regulars. Yeah.

Dick Miller, you said, Kevin McCarthy, who plays the doctor, he's in, he's in a few, Joe Dante movies, but inner space is a big one that I remember him from and the Twilight Zone movie, the Joe Dante segment. From that, the other main character is Maggie, played by Heather Menzies, Urch, Urch, Urch, Urch, Urch, maybe? Urch, yeah, probably Urch. Who?

Who, I didn't know this until just seeing it, she plays Luisa in the sound of music. Oh, hey. Yeah. That's like the other thing I like about this crop of movies.

Like you get people who were famous for something yes, 20 years ago. Well, that's whatever. So, yeah, one of the doctors that works for the military is Barbara Steele, who was in like, she's, she was in like eight and a half. Right.

Yes. You know, like, she was in like a shit ton of movie. God, her deal in this too is so funny. It's so funny.

She's in like a completely different movie from everybody else too. It's, it's so good. Yeah. That honestly, like this movie quickly establishes, like you said, it's not going to be Jaws, it's not beat for beat or rip off of Jaws.

Right. It literally just uses that as its starting point. And then you get the thing that you see in like other Joe Dante movies, which is that we are doing Looney Tunes. Yes.

You know, this, this can go anywhere. It kind of almost starts and ends where Jaws starts and ends, where like, instead of blowing up the shark with a gas canister, it's like just toxic waste instead. Yeah. It's like a heightened version of the same thing.

Right. You know, well, okay. So, Steven Spielberg saw this movie and he said he really liked it. And he said it's the best of all the Jaws knockoffs.

He's like, he's a fan. Like, you know, he's a fan of like Roger Korman gets like the whole thing. He knows that he made like, he made Jaws and this is like, well, these are people capitalizing on what I did. And that's totally fine.

Right. I do think it's, I do think it matters that it stops being Jaws as soon as you get past the marketing of it. Yeah, absolutely. It is very, very much its own thing.

So, right. So we said the couple, you know, in the beginning, they go swimming and they get eaten up by the piranha. Then it cuts to a girl playing Jaws the video game. And she works for, I don't know if it's like a detective agency or like an insurance company or something, but she is being sent out to find this couple, because I guess they've been missing for a little while.

And that's, you know, that's her introduction is like that she's she's an investigative, you know, person here. Grogan is like, he's just a drunk that lives in the woods. He's he's um, you watch Deadwood, you do Deadwood. No, I see Deadwood.

He's a okay. Well, if anyone seems dead, what is Hofstetler, he's got that accent he's doing is the weirdest thing. It's almost like Swedish American or something. You know what I mean?

I can't even yeah. It's great voice, great drunk voice. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

He's he's got his one friend who I guess goes into town for him and buys him his booze, his four kinds of booze that he likes. He's like, here's your gin, here's your bourbon, here's your scotchin, here's your tequila. And what's it's so funny the reveal that his daughter also lives there? Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah, it's like, again, just sort of like the mood like the structure of a movie demands that there like this kind of movie it demands that there be someone to save, like an innocent who needs to be protected. Right. Yeah, because it can't be I mean, Grogan is just a drunk we can't we, you know, otherwise we don't care about him at all. Right.

So, uh, the woman, uh, what's your name Maggie? Yeah, Maggie. She happens upon Grogan's cabin and she's like, I'm looking for these people. Have you seen them?

And Grogan offers, I guess he drives her up to this like lab or whatever, which is it's so strange. There's like a reservoir, a small pool, whatever. That's where these kids went swimming. Um, and they go into the lab and I mean, this was crazy.

I, so not seeing, I haven't seen this movie, right? There's this little creature, like a little ray. Yeah, like walking around the lab, like sneaking around and I was like, Oh, wait, am I totally wrong in what I think this movie is? Like, I thought this movie was about killer fish.

I thought I thought the exact same thing and then was delighted to realize that that was just for the trailer. Yeah. You know, these are all tricks to get people to watch to pay to see the movie. It's I mean, that's it's brilliant.

It's so fucking good. And it's also just like such a weird little digression that we go on where we just see these little fish people. Yeah, it's right. It's like a little fish person.

Um, a little claymation thing that's like walking around. We see it for maybe a total of 10 seconds. Yeah. And then it never again never mentioned nothing.

Yeah. So we see it for a total of one day's work, whatever it costs, whatever's the least we can pay that animator. Right. Then so the Maggie, she has an idea like, Oh, maybe they fell into the pool or something.

Let's drain the water out. And that's when the scientist comes out and he is like, he is crazed. He's like out of his mind and he starts like attacking them and they knock him out, and they manage to knock him out and then they drain the pool. That is the first of two times where they hit someone in the head really hard and then have to go out their way to be like, he's still breathing.

We didn't kill him. We didn't get yet. Just like basically looking at the camera. Right.

He's still alive. So that so the, you know, they knock him out. They're looking at the pool and they're like, bones and I think they say it's a dog or something. Oh, yeah.

He says, uh, he says it's a dog for some reason, but it's like very clearly a human skeleton. Yeah. And then the scientist must have like come to and then he steals their truck and he crashes at he like rolls up a, the guy they bring him back to Grogon's cabin. And like, and this is another interesting thing.

There's no like, there doesn't seem to be any romance at all between Grogon and Maggie, which like, I don't know. I feel like in any other movie there would have been something. Well, don't they? I thought there was when she's like, I've been waiting five minutes for you to invite me under that blanket.

I, well, I don't know what I got from that was that she was just really cold. I mean, Grogon doesn't seem like super charming and like his, you know, his lifestyle is not like conducive to anybody else. I prefer. Yes.

I prefer your read on this because it seemed to me like she was just really cold and she was like, why haven't you invited me under that? Yes. That's just really funny. And so the, the doctor or whatever, the scientist, he's basically like, you're, you've released these killer fish.

I've made killer fish. They're prana, they're, they were supposed to be, we were weaponizing them against North Korea, or non-North Korea, I'm sorry, not was it North Vietnam? Yeah. And, you know, that, that'll obviously fell through, but now I just have them.

Like, that was like, it's like, I just have them now. They say that, they say that base has been abandoned for six years. So he's just been squatting at the abandoned military base. Right.

Like a fish. Yeah, doing experiments, like making small creatures and stuff. And then, so we're introduced to like this camp with a bunch of kids on a lake. And like, this is like, all of this is just like set up.

We're just like, this is all, okay. All right. So now we have these kids that are all around the water, all these counselors and everything. And there's like a big swim competition.

Like it's a big, big deal. Like we have to get everybody in the water. You have to know this. They're gonna be in there.

The big inner tube swim competition. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's also set up that Grogan's daughter goes there and doesn't like swimming. She's afraid of the lake, afraid of the water. Smart.

Yes. Beck, that I'm looking for his name here, Paul Bartell, who plays the counselor. Yeah. Fucking great.

He's so good. He does not have like aggro energy, but he's saying aggro things. It's just great. I don't know.

I love every word out of his mouth. He's, I mean, that's so good. So the guy that's bringing Grogan, his booze, whatever he's like fishing off of his dock and he's got his feet in the office. Good.

The piranha attack his feet and his legs. And he is not fast enough to get them out and Grogan and Maggie, they find him. He crawled away from the water, but his legs have been chewed down to the bone below the knees. Yeah.

He does have a little skeleton legs. He's got a little skeleton legs. It should be noted too that Grogan and Maggie and the doctor are floating down river on a raft. Native logs.

It's real like Huck Finn shit. Yeah. It's such a great way to not need a boat for most of the shoe. Like it's so fucking good.

And they give him so much dialogue explaining this raft and why it's going to hold together and why it's good. Yeah. It's a good raft. Yeah.

Why he built a raft in the first place? It's great. Yeah. So they're they're Huck Finn down the river.

After after they come upon his friend, who's the then I think. No, no, that's when the father the father and son fishing that that whole thing. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Yes. There's a after they find the friend or whatever they're going back. They're going to continue down river. They have to warn people that these fish are out here and there's a father and son out and canoe fishing and the father's like, I got my I'm trying to pull this thing up, but my hand is all caught up and tangled in something under the water.

It's very nondescript. And then they attack him and then the boat turns over and the kid manages to stay like on top like the boat is like flip upside down. He's still on top of the boat. And then the raft is approaching and the dock he just jumps off into the water to save the kid who relates here.

And then we just see the piranha rush at him and they're trying to find them. I think they establish that the canoe is somehow sinking. Right. Yeah.

And he I guess his like because the whole time up to this point, the doctors like you want to blame this problem on someone blame it on your politicians and your military. I'm just a scientist. Yeah. And then he has his like redemptive moment is to jump into the water to again, we're going to have to time stamp that and edit in the mist.

Right. Jump into the mist. We're doing. Yeah.

Sorry. He jumps into the water and that's like to save the kid. That's like his redemptive moment. And he gets to shoot up real bad, but they get the kid to safety and they get him back on the raft as well.

Unfortunately, but he's he's dead. Right. He dies on the raft. Yes.

Yeah. Yep. Yep. He bleeds out and he dies and that all his his blood is dripping through the logs through the raft into the water and it drives a piranha.

It's crazy. So they start biting at the ropes holding this raft together. Yeah. So funny.

Yeah. And it takes so long too. Yeah. The logs kind of detach from the raft one by one.

Yes. And truly just like really just a fucking cartoon bit where your raft is coming apart and you're just like, hey, you're tip toe on one log as you as you pull yourself to shore. Right. They get off and I think right then he's like, he's like, we got to the dam to stop him from lighting the water out with the piranhas in it.

So they get there and that's when the military becomes involved. Right. That's when the military gets there and they're like, we are going to we're going to let the piranhas in. We're going to we're opening it up.

Yeah. Yeah. You're going to have to because we're also trying to open a resort here and the colonel is a silent partner in the resort. I know it's so fucking good.

It's so good. That's like, I don't know the movie the idea. So you just start with the idea of like, okay, there's this thing. So Jaws is a big deal.

What else is like an underwater thing and somebody's just like piranha. Yeah. What other fish has teeth. Yeah.

What else eats like stuff? You know, like a barracuda? Like what else we got? Like what about piranha?

They're like very tiny, but they eat a lot. Like, all right. Okay. And then what?

Maybe there's like camp or something. Okay. And maybe the military's behind the whole thing. All right.

Yeah. This is really coming together. So I remember you may also remember you were around for this. So like as the I would say like for the first couple months or so of the pandemic, maybe like April and May, people were talking about it in terms of Jaws, right?

Just like officials, not eating warnings and like how that was just like one for one. Yeah. We were all living on Amazon. It was just like, no, no, it goes swimming.

Get in there. And then from that, there's like, you know, you get, you know, sort of like, I mean, QAnon had been around. I'm going somewhere with this, by the way. Like you and I had been around, but it sort of like really blows up around.

So you get like these these tall tales about like military deep state conspiracies or whatever. Right. And I got to say, I feel like Piranha is more prescient than than Jaws, because like you have that conspiracy, but also this gets beyond that and like really points out that the only thing anyone cares about here is just like making money. Like even the military is just like, we're not doing this except for the money.

Right. Yes. There's no, there's no noble scientific pursuit. Right.

There's nothing. Yes. You're, it's actually very smart. And I feel like John Tae would be very upset if he heard heard that analysis of this movie.

Well, you know what though, I think, like Joe Dante, like I'm, I guess, almost familiar with the stuff from the 80s and like early to mid 90s. But he always seemed like a guy who was like, you know, he likes, he likes B movies. You know, like he liked all those monster movies from like the 50s, like the giant aunt, you know, giant crab monsters, takeover, you know, that kind of shit. I mean, he, he fucking, he cast Kevin McCarthy in here as the doctor who was the lead from Invasion of Body Snatchers, the original Body Snatchers.

Right. That's, this is like his, I don't know, this is what he does, you know, like that's his whole background. So even if he's making like quote unquote trash, it's going to be like, we're really well done, I think. Yeah.

That's the thing like, I mean, this is, it is a B movie, but it is really well made like it's perfectly executed, I should say. Right. I think it's perfectly executed. I think even like the piranha, which is like a bad effect, right?

It's like literally just like, like you said, like a mobile and then like the closeups are like, just, you know, fish on a stick being like poked at somebody and there's like some red, you know, fake blood and whatever. Even with that, this is all like, I don't know, like the last 20 minutes of this movie is it's just crazy. It's like the end of animal house. It is, it's where land demoting on it.

Right. Like we get like, we get some kills like early on and like, you know, drips and drabs kind of throughout the movie. But like everything is just leading up to this one thing where, okay, the piranha are going to this camp where all these kids are. And on top of that, Dick Miller is opening a, I don't know, a park where it's on the river and you know, he's basically, Aquarina.

Yeah, and Aquarina. Yeah, yeah. And you know, nothing is going to stop the park from opening. So we're just like, oh, well, we knew about the camp and now we're introduced to this other thing.

And then, and then the piranha hit the camp and like, it's the, you know, the swim meter, whatever. And these, everybody's in the water. And then just like little, little like kids are just being like, how was that? And then they just start getting attacked.

And it's just like, it's, it's pandemonium. Everybody's going nuts. And it, one of my, it's like, you know, this is, at least like it's B movie, it's got like cheesy aspects and stuff. But like a legitimate great shot, I think is when the counselor, I think her name is Betsy, she's yeah, Grogan's daughter, it has a raft or whatever she's going out.

She saves the one blonde counselor. And then there's the Burnett Betsy who's still on the raft. And she gets like, she's in the water and she's getting bit and stuff. And she tries to like reach up.

And, and the shot is like underwater. And it's just her being like pulled away underwater, like fast, you know, and you're like, wow, that looks really good. Yeah. Like it's goofy.

The, the fact that it's an inner tube race, like I've never heard of that. Of course. But what it does is like, you know, for as like, kind of unbelievable as that is, I mean, it doesn't fucking matter because it's a movie. So who cares?

But what it does is set up like this perfect tension where it's like, okay, well, these kids could swim much faster without the inner tubes. Oh, but the inner tubes are the only thing keeping them alive at all. So like they have to slow, like in the slowest way possible. Yes.

Yeah. And they're still kind of like, it's just good. I don't know. They, it really is like, they squeeze every last drop out of, out of the budget, out of like the set pieces.

Like, even the idea of like, just having them get around on a raft is so smart. It's so clever. It is. There's an inherent tension to it because it's tied together.

Right. And like, I don't know. There are all these little things like that, one little, um, at Aquarina, you know, there's like that little sort of like party boat that people get on. Right.

So there's a sign on the boat that says limited 18 people. Yes. And that's all you need to know that like, oh, shit. Yeah.

People are going to try to get on this boat. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

There's gonna be too many people on this boat. I know. Yeah. And like, you know, it's a short movie.

It's like 90 minutes or whatever. And there's a large portion of it where it's just like, it's Grogan and Maggie trying to stop, you know, you're trying to warn people, right? And they're calling people, nobody believes in that whole thing, which I don't know. I feel like can get annoying, but there's so much other stuff going on.

Yeah. That like, it's almost, you know, you have that you have like, and that's like when the Aquarina is introduced and you're like, Oh, there's this whole other thing that's to focus on. Yeah. And then, you know, I know they're Grogan and Maggie are trying to stop the camp, but then what about all these other people that are going to get this stupid water park?

Yeah. I mean, that's the thing, like, I agree, like that can't get annoying if everyone's just like, ah, you people are nuts. But it's more like it works, I think, because everyone has such disparate motivations, you know, right? It's not just like everyone's like a flock of killer piranha.

What are you talking about? One guy says that and it's not even because of the premise. It's because Grogan's a drunk, right? You know, he's just like, yeah, the counselor is just like, why is he like, say like, ah, straighten up and fly right or whatever.

Yeah, whatever that line is. And then like, yeah, you get like the the Colonel who like says it for whatever reason, you get the business guy who says it for his reason. And then it is satisfying when you find out that they are actually motivated by the same thing, like as that starts to come together, you're just like, oh, okay. So silly.

There's that scene also in the jail when Grogan and Maggie are locked up and Maggie like breaks the sink and like cracks the guy over the head that like you said, like you check to make sure he's not dead. And then they're like, okay, get the keys. Well, they're attached to his pants. We'll take all his pants.

It's like, it's long seen her trying to like take this guy's pants off. Over his shoes. Yeah, over his boots. It's just like, yeah, like, like the last 20 minutes or so of this movie are it's just, it's just fish anarchy.

You get that one shot of, so there's like a boat with a skier on it, a guy that's water skiing on the back of it, which this is another thing that I thought was great. Like the guy on the ski, he sees that something is wrong, right? Like he sees that there's like, you know, blood in the water and like a body or something like that. And he's like, oh shit, like bring me in.

And they're like not paying attention. They're like, okay, we'll slow down. And he's like, no, don't slow down. Like, just bring me in.

Yeah, again, really just like, it gets so much mileage out of out of that. Right. And that's what causes that one boat to like jump over the other boat. Yeah, it was controlled the boat.

He goes flying one boat causes a wooden boat to explode in a giant fireball. Yeah, yeah, it's so funny. It's so funny. I don't know.

These old movies too, it's just so fun to go actually like a boat, you know, jump another boat and then explode. It's like watching a like a stunt show with a theme for something. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, big stunt show energy here.

Just like a bunch of, because there's also like all the car stuff in there, just like the most beat up old cars. Right. Yeah, right. Unvigilative.

Yeah, or like a car that clearly is not, it's like a decommissioned cop car. Right. Things seem better days. Yeah, I mean, not to watching something like this, which is like so much fun.

And it's such a bummer that they don't make movies like this. I know. This is how I felt. I remember a while ago, we were right, you and me, we were texting about the movie used cars.

Yes. About how it's just like a fucking, I mean, same sort of thing where like the, you know, I mean, the end is like total pandemonium. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

For a mile of cars. Yeah. And right. It's just a bunch of fucking junky old cars and there's dust.

There's dust on us. There's dust. Yeah. Where's the dust?

You have like the star of your movie, like on top of cars, basically standing up, you know, although I will say in this one, the star of the movie, did you notice that slow mo shot, the it was like visibly a mannequin in the passenger seat? Oh, yeah. Oh, so good. Yeah.

Just, yeah, the Halloween wig bouncing the gravity of the car. Oh, so good. Yeah. I mean, right.

So this, they remade piranha. I want to say it's less than maybe 10 years ago somewhere around there. Yeah. Right.

Have you seen that? I have not seen that. That's like, is Adam Scott in that? Yes.

Okay. Um, Adam Scott, Paul Sheer, Ving, Rames, the shoe. The shoe? Elizabeth.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

There's a, there's a real who's who. Yeah. A real shoe. Chris for Lloyd.

Deckers for Lloyd. That's cool. We got Lloyd. Gerry O'Connell.

Say no more, right? Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Richard Dreyfus is in the opening scene, which is like an homage to Jaws. Sure.

Wait, wait. Are they even top billing for a cameo? That sucks. Yes.

That sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Which I like, I saw this movie.

I saw the piranha remake or whatever. And I thought it was fun for what it was, you know, but now after watching this for the first time, like, oh, this is like infinitely better. Right. Yeah.

It's like, I mean, just seeing that there's a movie like that this came out in 2010, I can all I can feel in my bones how winking this is. Yeah, it's yes. Like, and yes, all you need to do is spot Paul Sheer's name in the credits and you're like, okay, I know exactly what's the tone of this movie? Yeah.

Right. No disrespect, but maybe a bit of disrespect in this case. Maybe some maybe a touch. Oh, I forgot.

We're gonna talk about a directors coming out of the the corpsman school. Piranha 2 was directed by James Cameron. Really? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Good for him. Right.

That's crazy that those two directors are associated with this franchise. Yeah. I guess we should watch Piranha 2 for when we do our James Cameron month. I'd love to do a James Cameron month.

What would you what would you pick for James Cameron month? What movies? Yeah. Let's see.

I mean, the original Terminator is just really good. Aliens is also I happened to watch aliens like a week ago. Oh, you've seen it though before, right? Not all the way through.

Oh, so this is your first time. This is my first straight through. Oh, what a what an absolute blast. It's so good.

That movie fucking rules. Yeah. Oh boy. Oh, man.

I was I was thinking about that movie like the other day or something because it was just like the line where she's like, get away from her, you bitch. Right? Yeah. Like the whole movie, there's like two hours of like aliens and her fighting and all of this stuff, right?

And like she's she never has the upper hand really. You know, she's always kind of like hiding or running away or whatever. And this is almost like the first time where she's like, I'm like an equal here with this queen. Yeah.

You know, and she's like, I'm I'm definitely it's such a it's just such a great like action line moment. So good. It's just the best. Yeah, it is just like, yeah, the the the movie up to that point.

It's just like survival. Right. It's survival. Right.