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Or treat yourself to your dream burger lineup with our original quarter pounder with cheese or quarter pounder BLT. At Participate McDonald's Restaurant in Canada. Product Availability, very good restaurant. Hey Har, maybe night, if you thought last week's episode was fishy, strap the fucking, because we're talking about flying fish this week with piranha to the spawning as picked by me.
This was not the first time for me, but I have a feeling it was the first time for my co-hosts. So let's hear it. Were you not entertained? I had a blast watching this pile of crap.
I saw this before with you. Listen, I remember when we brought up the idea of piranha too. And I was like, oh, that's the one where piranha's walk. And you were like, no, they fly and I was like, that sounds weird.
So I don't know if we rented two movies the same night, because the movie that I remember seeing was not in this. There was an evil scientist involved in creating these fish. And it was like a little claymation fish walking around the pool. That's the first piranha.
There's a weird cutaway in the lab. There's just a claymation fish for like a split second. They can walk? It just walks for it.
So here's the thing. Piranha 1 is in a lot of ways a better movie, but I think that piranha 2 is the more entertaining movie. Piranha 1 is very much, hey, this is a Jaws ripoff. And let's just make this super ridiculous because like, dear God, how terrifying can a bunch of tiny fish be?
And like, that's pretty much the entire thesis for the movie. And the back of the cover, if you see the back of the cover, like the VHS cover for piranha, it is super, like the cover art and the back art. They're super, super misleading. Because the cover art is like a girl swimming and there's a gigantic piranha coming up to bite her.
And then the back art is this shot of like these really interesting looking like claymation puppet piranhas all up against a cage. Like they're about to come in and get people in a shark cage. That shot is the only shot where they use those puppet piranhas. The rest of the movie is a bunch of paper cutouts of fish on water that they just keep moving past like a blue screen to make it look like there's a poor to fish swimming.
And then it's just a bunch of like, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. It's just like a little bubble up and be like, oh no! And then they go underwater. But yeah, there's one because it's Joe Dante's first movie and that dude loves claymation.
There is a scene where they're investigating a lab and it just cuts this weird wide shot where there is like a claymation fish monster just walking across the desk that no one notices. And that's it. It's just there. It means nothing.
It's like this theme is like the dancing hamburger and better off dead. It has nothing to do with anything. Oh my god, the dancing hamburger. So there's two things about piranha too.
First of all, easily James Cameron's best friend. But he did not admit to making until 2010. Dude, reading the IMDB trivia about this movie and like the back and forth of like the involvement and then the non-involvement of James Cameron is insane. But the other thing that I have to say about this movie is that what it lacks in pacing and acting and direction and a script it makes up for in flying fish murder.
And for that, I'm eternally grateful. So let's talk about piranha too this morning. I loved the cover art. I just want to say I loved the cover art.
So which one do you refer to because there's a lot of different covers for the one where the it's got a girl's butt on it, dude. Come on. So the version that I have is the the screen factory Blu-ray, which I guess it's a new artistic rendering, but it's just a girl running up like it's her face and her arms almost slammed against the box screaming while you see a flying fish coming right after. But the movie kicks off with the ever popular naked scuba diving sex scene.
Oh my god, so weird. I wrote weirdest fetish I've seen in a while and I know that we fetish shamed earlier in this month. That's some weird dangerous kinky ass shit. She cuts off his underwear with a knife.
I thought that she was going to kill him. I was like a shimmer. But no, I actually have a note that I was like deep divers are freaks man and I was like I don't care. I'm King shaming today and then we get into more King shaming later.
So this movie is very problematic to say the least. Have you guys ever been snorkeling? No. Hell no, man.
I don't like being somewhere where I can't breathe. So snorkeling is the amateur hour of the epidemic and the way that it hurts your ears. It's like knives in your ears going that far underwater. I couldn't imagine banging getting nasty doing the deed.
The piranhas whenever they attack kind of sound like putties for power Rangers on sleep because they just rolling. Like well into like a little group. It's weird. The beginning we meet this kid and I I had flashbacks to sleepwalkers because I actually had a right like is mom.
They have a weirdly sexually tense relationship. I hate it. I hated it. He's like hopping in bed with her.
He's like trying to throw a dead fish on her. I'm like, what is this relationship? Yeah, that was super creepy. Every time they talk, they're like right close to where you think they're just going to kiss.
Yeah, very, very gross. I don't like it at all. Not my thing. But you know what I do like is this next scene with this old lady wearing orange lipstick.
You know what the doctor said killed my last husband? No, ma'am. Excitement. Fucking amazing.
So I have another note that I want to read verbatim that says or 18 minutes into this movie and they've already stopped trying to explain why people are topless at this point. Wait, who was topless? Just got to the two girls just on a boat just having like a topless conversation for. Oh, yeah.
That's right. Like there is so much nudity. But that's actually I don't think there is that much nudity because there were the naked divers. So you got to see a boob until she got eaten until at the boob got eaten and then you see the two girls talking for a minute.
That's it. Like no one else gets naked, right? The sex scene with the mom is just implied fair enough. It starts off with a lot of nudity though in 20 minutes.
We see a lot and then they introduce my favorite character who's Mel the chef. Oh my God. He kind of sounds like if Jimmy Stewart was playing Stanley Spadelsky and you ate chef. Like you just like, oh, well, I'll know I can make you a dinner.
Wow. The best thing about him is that she's like, how do you ever made it with two girls? And I'm like, I do never made it with one. Yeah.
I made it with one. Like he comes in his pants at the concept of touching a woman. Hey, Scott, remember I talked about the little segment that I thought we should have on this show. Yeah.
Hey, Matt, what part made you cry in this movie? I didn't necessarily cry, but I was very upset when they were making fun of Mel the chef and just had him throw all the food on the boat and then they just sail away and left him abandoned. Maybe he shouldn't have been a dumb shit who like put the food on and then they're like, here, throw us the rope. Like he's not there.
He's Mel. He's like the fucking guy in werewolf on wheels who they like sexually assault in the bar or whatever. Yeah, it's but I don't know that one that got me a little. I was like, oh, Mel.
So we get this reveal of a body. So the mom teaches scuba diving. She goes underwater and they find someone who basically just has their lower jaw like gnawled off. And I love that the explanation is like, well, it must have been a shark.
Because I don't know any shark attack in history. That was just like a little bit of dumb, dumb, dumb on the bottom of the door and then call it a day. Man, they really fucked up not calling this movie num, num, num. We're on it to the num, num, num.
But before that, we get the mom say, see you later, alligator to her son, right? So that means two movies that Matt picked in a row where they do that stupid fucking sealator alligator like tongue in cheek shit. After a while crocodile. Oh my God.
Oh my God, Matt. Oh, he was so lost. Well, this is not my beautiful house. Anyway, my beautiful card.
But then the guy that the mom eventually bangs who is spoiler alert like a double agent scientist who worked on the project that made the killer flying piranhas. He goes, do you dive on the first date? Which is, you know, that's a reference to Conelingus. Yeah.
So here's the big reason why I picked this movie. And this is gonna sound sarcastic. It is absolutely not. That first flying fish reveal is beautiful.
The girl walking around the house. She hears the sound. She like looks at the body and then just out of the like out of the guts. All the guts.
You just see this head flop out and then it flies out, which not one, but two different IMDB trivia pages said that the filming of that scene with the inspiration for the face hugger in Alien reveal. I don't believe it. Mummy. Mummy.
Especially because like they keep making a reference like James Cameron direct to the first alien and he did it. He made the second one when the face hugger stuff had already been a thing. You know, IMDB trivia is kind of stupid. I love it though.
I love my favorite thing about IMDB trivia isn't necessarily the trivia, but it's when you stumble upon a particularly dumb one and then you get to look at the bottom where it has the thumbs up and thumbs down and you'll see like two people out of 70 found the secret. Or you're like, yeah, fuck an idiot. Like at a certain point it should be like, okay, if it's like 90% don't find this interesting we just remove it from the trivia page. That would require them to actually monitor that shit and I can't imagine anybody.
IMDB is a wasteland. This is true. There are so many fake sequels that exist on IMDB because someone made a page and no one bothered to take it down. I love that this movie though is like it reminds me of I want to say a little bit of that Ed Wood aspect of like, yeah, just hold it and make it look like it's killing you.
It's the school of fighting inanimate objects and I love it. This actually the nurses death scene is like really gory. It's really good. I think there's some very good scenes in this movie.
Mostly all of them involving people getting attacked by fish. I mean, I think that's what they knew what we were here for. Yeah, and you know what kudos to them or fuck them. I'm not sure where I stand on it just yet.
We're waiting a good 45 minutes before we get to see the flying fish in action. It's called tension that. Yeah, well this is not a movie that needs tension. There's the one guy, the one fisherman that you see in the beginning who gets caught in his like tub filled with the fish.
That's the kid of the fisherman. But there's like a very like weird, he tries to get up and like there's a hook that's giving his shirt in place. There's something it's so dumb. It's so dumb how he can't get out of the tub.
The whole like we want fish chant. Oh my god, yes. So I feel no sympathy for those fucking morons because they are like they're just gonna go and they're called gronions. That's the which does that sounds like something you call your ball sack.
You know, like it's not really it doesn't sound like a real fish name. But apparently gronions who part of their DNA was spliced into the killer piranha. And that's why they decided to come up onto the beach to spawn why it's called piranha. But they so these this this guy is like we're gonna do gronion fishing which is basically just these idiot tourists picking fish up with their hands.
Which seems really inhumane to me. So I felt really good when the fish started to kill everybody there. Fair enough. But it only killed like all the they're supposedly like, you know, a hundred of these flying piranhas.
Only six people get murdered. Can I tell you who my favorite person gets murdered during that scene is and it might actually be the best scene in the movie is the fisherman post his son dying. He tries to shoot. Well, he's just having this like final showdown with the fish where he's just bobbing and we've been as their flight man.
And everybody is like everybody got away. Yeah, everyone's part of the hotel and they're just like, oh, wait, no. Come back. Eventually too many the fish overcome him.
But man watching him bobbing weave for a couple minutes was like spectacular. There's two things that I've noticed with like as we've been watching more and more of these movies and I mean it's gonna be a long summer of this to listeners. But like there's two things that I've noticed with with these types of movies and I'll just call them like I don't want to say aquatic movies because like the aquatic movies are a lot of like the underground layer stuff. But more of this like people on the beach and there's something in the water that's that's killing people is that one aspect of it is that any scene that doesn't involve the killer animal just feels like B roll from like catty shack.
Like wacky teenagers hanging out at the hotel type stuff and that every one of these movies ends with an explosion. Like that is the only solution apparently to killing a monster in the water is you got to blow that shits up. I mean, I don't see why this is a surprise to anyone because that's exactly how in America that's how you fix your problems. That is true blow that shit up.
Yeah, I mean, I brought it to good time crazy flying fish effects James Cameron working his asshole for 5% of the movie and then someone else directing the rest but he gets all the credit. I want the credit. Yeah, Lance Hendrickson just strutting out being like I'm here. His hair is so bad.
You know what I really got to point something out about this movie and I don't mean this in a bad way at all. This is a slasher movie. It is in the beach of a slasher movie. The fish aren't hungry.
They're insane and they want to it's just there's even an underwater chase scene where the mom and the scientist fuck toy go back into the ship to set the depth charges and then he gets caught because the fish are like the prunas are coming after him down this hall or in a hallway but like a shoot of some sort. And he gets caught and then they eat him and she gets away but that's literally a chasing. It could be prom night. So I've got a couple James Cameron factoids from IMDB trivia that I do want to read.
First of all, in an interview James Cameron stated that he doesn't think that this movie is that bad. In fact, he believes that the spawning is actually the finest flying piranha movie that's ever been made. Yep, I do love that quote. He also said that the movie gets better about halfway through when seen at a drive-in with a six pack of beer by your side.
But this one, well, let's see how we feel about this. But James Cameron had to come to Rome to see the film's post production but he spent his entire advanced salary on his plane ticket. So with no money for food, he just began snatching leftovers and rolls from titter-trees throughout the hotel. Due to the exhaustion and his maltrician, he grew ill with a fever and had a nightmare about a metallic torso emerging from an explosion and dragging itself over the floor with kitchen knives which led to his idea for his following movie The Terminator.
Sure, why not? Yeah, let's go with it. It seems like everything that I read seems like he really wanted to be more involved in this movie because, I mean, obviously his name is going to be on it. But it was apparently some scam ran by this producer.
I think he was in Italy. Yeah, because Rome. Yeah, because Rome. Where he would direct movies but then hire American up-and-coming directors to get the directing credit so that he could sell it as an American movie.
I mean, that sounds about right. And we've watched quite a few movies that are pretty obviously money laundering schemes, most recently, Mausoleum. But that was Mafiosa, not actual Italians. But I'm not trying to say all Italians are Mafiosas.
Mafiosos. I mean, it sounded like it. But it seems like James Cameron was desperate to not have this movie as bad as he felt like it came out. Bean?
But it's fun. It is a really, I think it's a very fun movie. But I get it. I mean, if this is your first movie and you're trying to make a big break for it, it's not exactly the thing you want to put on your director's reel to send the studio to be like, I made this.
Brian, you've been unreasonably quiet. What are your thoughts? He fell asleep. Yeah, I'm snoozing.
I mean, it's what's there to say about this movie that hasn't already been said. You know, fish fly James Cameron incest. You know, that's all the beats that we need to hit. It was a fine movie, but that's all I have to say.
That was fucking brutal, man. No, Canada is up to nil. That is the most dangerous lead in soccer. Lax, Mike.
See that, Dan? My left eye is switching. That's my warning eye. It'll be two, two by stop.
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Early payout from bet 365, huh? Now my right eye is switching, Dan. Bet 365. Must be 19 or older.
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Alright, well then, Matt, what are you going to do for your double feature? I'm going to go with one that has been picked multiple times, it's double features, but I still stand by it being one of the finest films that we've ever watched for this podcast that involved any type of quad freighters. I'm going with the last shark. Yes, I was going to and I was like, no, no, Matt deserves that one for his efforts.
Man, last shark is such a good time. It's such a shit. I'm like, maybe I'll rewatch the last shark. I don't bet, but it's so fun.
I know I don't like killer animal movies. They don't do anything for me, really. Unless their monster animals like Piranha too. All the piranha movies are pretty fun because of their very light hearted nature, but I didn't enjoy alligator too.
Alligator one is okay, but I like it and I think we got a good episode out of it, but I don't think that I would revisit it anytime soon. But man, last shark, I will revisit anytime because that is the most bombastic killer animal movie I've ever seen. I don't know, dude, the whole scene in alligator still bothers me. I mean, I'm not saying that alligators is not good.
It's not worth a rewatch. I'm just saying that if it's up to me, my rewatch is going to be going with the last shark or maybe not food of the gods. Those are just absolutely ridiculous giant animal movies because I like that ridiculous aspect, which should be a surprise to none of you listening or my co-hosts because I have very obvious predelication for the absurd. Okay, so what's your double feature?
I was actually going to go with, so this is a Fourth of July movie, and so I'm going to double feature it with another Fourth of July slasher. I know what you did last summer. All right, all right, all right, all right. How about you, Brian?
Orca. Say the full name, Brian. Orca. The Killer Whale.
There's this one long list that says, this is one of the cycle of 1980s and mid to late 1970s movies I got made after the box office smash that was jolts. These movies include the three sequels, jolts, two jolts, three, and jolts are a revenge, as well as Orca the Killer Whale, Piranha, Tenacles, Killer Fish, Barracuda, Datora, Datora, the Killer Shark, Blood Beach, Piranha, The Spawning, The Last Shark, Up From The Daps, Humanoids From The Deep, Screamers, Double Fish, and Mako, the Jolts of Death. Now, here's the question. Yes, we'll watch all of them in something.
Oh man, there was one on my list that I had a question. Tenacles? Thank you. Is that an octopus one?
That is an octopus one. Is it good? It's all right. It would be pretty low on my list of ones that I would make a swatch, but I'll give it a rewatch.
I have the, there was like a double disc Blu-ray that Scream Factory put out really early on that had that in a different movie that I was trying to actually own. But let's talk about things that we've done, read, seen that we want to promote. I know for me, I just finished reading a really great book written by my friend Jason. He's the one of the two hosts of Geek History Lesson called Super Soldiers.
And it's a pretty interesting book. It doubles as both a memoir as well as a history of comic books. And it is a breakdown of investigating different comic book characters that served in the United States military at one point or another. And then he also uses it to talk about his struggles being a geek, being deployed to Iraq shortly after September 11th.
And how like being in Iraq is what got him back into reading comics because there was, I think it was something about like he was deployed. And he got a care package. And it was right around when the ultimate comics first started coming out. And he got an ultimate comic in some random care package I was sent and immediately called his mom and was like, I need you to subscribe.
My name to Ultimate Spider-Man and Ultimate X-Men and have them shipped to like this location. So I can keep up with what's going on in these stories because they're great. And that like bled him back into being in comics and not feeling so alone when he was like super far away from everybody. But it's really, really, really interesting and touching book.
So I highly recommend if you're into comics at all, it's got some great history on the background of some of these characters. And a couple characters I never knew existed. Alright, well continue on the nerdiness factor of that. Building on that, I have watched hours.
This is so weird. I'm almost ashamed that I've watched so much of it. Yesterday, I just had hours of this doom eternal playthrough playing on my personal computer while I worked. Like hours of it.
You were just posting stuff. I wasn't even watching necessarily. I was kind of like half paying attention. And then if there was like a cutscene or some exposition, some exposition, I wanted to know what the concept of it was.
And then I was like, oh, but it's got pretty colors and lots of boom, boom monsters. I have burnt my way through 14 videos of it, which each video is like between 30 and 45 minutes. But I've also skipped around by the last like four or five. I'm like, okay, I've watched Doomguy blow up zombies for hours.
I just want to get to like the boss battles. And I don't even play video games anymore. It's just like this weird itch that's scratched by kind of tertiary early having a video game experience. Also the music is sick.
Like, Mick Gordon is the guy that he's a guitarist, metal guitarist who does the soundtrack work for Doom games. And it's pretty brutal. I mean, it's good stuff. He's just like an eight string guitar, nine string guitar.
I think he borrowed from somebody for like the last one. But the music is great. And it's just very, it just feels so strange because I'm like in my late 30s, I don't have a gaming PC. I don't even have a console that has hooked up anymore.
And I'm like, yeah, I think I'll just watch six hours of somebody else playing Doom Eternal. I mean, Tiger King, dude. Yeah, that's it. I mean, Tiger King.
We won't talk about it more until next week, but I kind of just watched Tiger King. And I watched episode one of Star Wars and I'm only three episodes into Ozark, so I have nothing to report there. So how did we, you kind of were like awkwardly silent when we had this conversation yesterday. Did Phantom Menace rewatch Live Up To Your Memory as a Phantom Menace?
Well, I think the thing was is, I mean, you're the appropriate age for the prequel. Yeah, you know, I saw it. I saw it at 10. You know, and obviously I enjoyed it when I was 10.
And then it was, it's been, I'm like 20 years removed at this point. And it's just been like an abortion for, you know, 15 years. So like, I think that I was shocked that it wasn't as terrible as I was led on the bleep, but also I am like, you know, I'm not one to get in Star Wars debates because I am pretty lights and not so much. Oh, yes.
So like, Star Wars to me is just like a ride. That's, that's, that's always what they've been to me. That's why I never really get in Star Wars debates is like, it's like going on a ride and like, you know, I don't care if there's continuity errors. I mean, I do, I do have to apologize.
I was a little hard on Chewbacca. Yeah, what the fuck, man? Yeah, or being cis-fucking in a wing. Yeah, I'm glad you finally saw the air of your way action, boy.
Now, six minutes. That's too bad. It's a fucking close second. You know what I mean?
He sucks too, but George, our sucks. All right. So before I get angry, you heard it here first, you know, watch, you've got a week to watch Tiger King if you're a couple months behind the rest of the world on watching Tiger King. And then we'll talk about it on here, but that won't be the only strange thing that we're going to talk about in this land of horror movie night.
So tune in next week to find out what we're discussing and we will be back as always, but you can always check out all of our social media. It's found in the episode description notes inside the episode description. Wow, that was a lot. That said very low.
And we'll be back next week with another horror movie night. A lot that said very little is kind of like our tagline. You're listening to the EECC network. Rose and lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes.
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