Planned Sex: Busting the Myth That Spontaneous Is Better

We’ve all seen it on TV, in movies or porn: two people lock eyes, clothes fly off, and somehow it’s perfect. But here’s the truth—spontaneous sex might make for great entertainment, yet for most people (especially in long-term relationships), it’s not the everyday reality.In this episode, we unzip the myth of spontaneous sex and explore the very real, very valid world of responsive desire—the kind that grows with connection, communication, and consent. We talk about how media and porn often set impossible expectations for instant passion, why those narratives can leave couples feeling “less than,” and how planned intimacy can be just as sexy—sometimes even more so—than in-the-moment encounters.We share our thoughts on building emotional closeness, practicing empathy, and navigating changing sexual dynamics over time. The takeaway? Great sex isn’t about chasing camera-worthy moments—it’s about intention, understanding, and choosing each other, over and over again.If you want to read more about different levels of arousal, check out the article that we talk about in the show: Giddy articleIf you have a story, thoughts and/or a topic or question for Dr. Sue and Charlie please share your ideas here:  ⁠Show suggestions