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O'Zoon, well played. Discover free sports tips, casino games, and poker guides at ozoon.net. Hi, this is Mikaiwa with Honest Talk Radio. Honest Talk Radio is a space where we will be sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly in real, raw conversations to try and do our part to reduce the amount of shame, guilt, and judgment so many of us in this case.
Our hope is that through these conversations, you will feel supported and encouraged in every aspect of your life. So let's get started. Hi guys, and welcome to another episode of Honest Talk Radio. I'm your host, Mikaiwa.
I'm a military spouse, mom to three, entrepreneur, and overall, I am a woman on a mission to help you navigate the uncertainties of life with ease and confidence while staying true to your personal identity. This show is all about having real, raw, and honest conversations surrounding military life, parenthood, womanhood, and well, life in general. Because let's face it, life isn't separated into tiny little compartments. You've spouse life, mom life, business life, friends life.
No, they all overlap. One aspect affects the other, and it's a cycle. So when one cog in the wheel is out of whack, it creates a domino effect. So through this show, we're going to help you build the life you want while supporting your spouse, your children, your friends, and neighbors.
I am so excited to see you reach your potential, to be resilient, not resentful, and to connect, relate, and encourage you along the way. So let's jump right in, shall we? Today, I want to talk about a little word that makes a huge impact on the way we think, what we do, and how we do it. As a military spouse, you may be familiar with the label, military dependent.
That was the label that you were given. As soon as you said those two little words, I do. Whether you're coming into this life as a young, new graduate, or a seasoned career woman or man, you are still forced to make the transition, from figuring out your independence, to becoming dependent. Man, this is a hard pill to swallow.
It's hard to be told that you have to depend on someone or something. When all your life you have strived to gain independence. I mean, after all, most developmental theorists describe the young adult years as a period of searching for independence. But for us, this state of development is derabeled, because our culture, our world, is telling us we aren't independent.
We are boom, slap this label on your forehead, you are independent. I mean, you might be familiar with the fact that when you make a doctor's appointment on a military installation, what do they ask you for? That's right, they ask you for your sponsor's name and Social Security number. As in, they don't even care about your identity.
Or when you are getting ready to move to PCS, and your spouse is deployed or TDY, and you can't coordinate the moving effort because you have to gain a power of attorney to move your belongings. Oh, or get this one. Perhaps finding a job or deciding what degree to pursue is dependent on what will fit with your spouse's military career. Or your ability to make an income is dependent on where you will be moving to and when.
Does this sound familiar? Yeah, I think so many of us can relate to these scenarios and more. But what if I told you that the word dependent doesn't have to define you? What if I told you that your spouse, the active duty member, depends on you just as much, if not more, than you truly depend on them?
What if I told you that depending on others isn't necessarily a bad thing? You see, military life is hard. I'm not gonna lie, but on today's show, I want to give you several ways to help you get rid of the limiting mindset. Because after all, do you really believe you're just a dependent?
In my eyes, there are two steps to rid yourself of this negative belief. And number one is identify your negative beliefs. That's right, identify them, describe them. How to do this?
Well, I tell my clients all the time, there is power in speaking our thoughts aloud. And then, where do you think those limiting beliefs come from? Do you feel like you let this term depend on you? Or maybe this term has fueled your fire to prove that you don't have to be dependent on anyone?
Which end of the spectrum are you on? Chances are both. As humans, we want to be needed, but we also want to be able to rely on others. This can be challenging to do when so many things regarding military life are completely out of our control.
The second step to getting rid of this limiting belief is acknowledging that this is a belief and not truth. So, try to focus on the things that you can control. And to begin, a great exercise in doing this is number one, write down the expectations you have for yourself. And on a separate list, what expectations do you think others have for you?
Y'all, this is good. Just doing this little exercise can make a huge, huge difference. And then number two, ask your spouse to write down their expectations of you, without showing them your list first. And then come together and compare.
All too often, we don't take the time to speak about our expectations. They're applied, implied or assumed. I think we all have an innate desire to be needed, but also to need others. So many of you probably feel as if you are caught up in a game of tug-of-war.
But the truth of the matter is our active-dating members' spouses and the military depend on those a lot more than we depend on them. I mean, after all, think about it. If you've gone through a deployment, you are superwoman or superman because you were managing all the roles and responsibilities. Am I right?
So today, I want to encourage you, don't let this word dependent define you and stop you from achieving your potential. Don't let this word rob you of your personal identity. In later episodes, we'll be bringing on other military spouses to join the conversation. So if you're interested, head on over to my Facebook page at www.facebook.com-backslash-onestock-international and comment below the pinned post with topic ideas and whether or not you are interested in being a guest on our show.
Thanks for listening guys and don't forget. Do remember, don't forget, that you can get rid of these limiting beliefs by one, identify your negative beliefs and two, acknowledge that this is a belief, not truth. Can't wait to chat with you next time. Cheers!
Thank you for listening to today's show. If you'd like to come on the show and have an honest conversation about connecting, relating and encouraging women, contact us at hello-at-honestock-international.com. Also, don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so that you can be in tune with all the great happenings. Have a great day!