Poorna Bell: Wanting more, the mental load and why it's important to weed your friendships

My guest today is Poorna Bell - award-winning journalist, author and competitive powerlifter. Poorna has written for The Times, Grazia, Red and Stylist among many others, and her latest book, She Wanted More, examines the quiet revolution taking place among women over 40 who are questioning the rules they've been handed and rewriting what the next chapter of their lives looks like.She talks with me about what those rules actually are, who set them, and why so many women in their 40s are reaching a point where they simply refuse to keep playing by them. Poorna is honest about her own journey - losing her husband in her 30s, navigating a life that doesn't look like her mother's and finding an unexpected sense of peace in that - and she has a lot to say about the mental load, the patterns that get set early in relationships and why in 2026 we're still having the same conversation about who does the dishes.We also chat about:Why 90% of the 1,000 women Poorna surveyed said friendship - not family or romance - is what matters most as they get older, and what that tells us about what we've been soldThe concept of "weeding" your life - and the gentlest way to let go of friendships that no longer serve you without blowing everything upWhy the patterns set early in a relationship are so hard to shift later and what that means for the mental load conversationWhat it means to build a sense of purpose when mainstream society offers you precious little validation for living differentlyHow strength training replaced diet culture noise, and why Poorna lifts heavy weights not for how she looks, but for the bones she wants to have at 80Find Poorna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/poornabell/Find Poorna on Substack: https://poornabell.substack.comShe Wanted More is available wherever you buy books.If you enjoyed this episode then please leave a rating or review - and you can follow the podcast to ensure you don’t miss future episodes. Thank you! Not Another Mummy Podcast is brought to you by me, journalist and author Alison Perry. I'm a mum of three and I love interviewing people about parenthood and confidence on the podcast. You can check out my other episodes and you can come chat to me on Instagram: @iamalisonperry or on Threads: @iamalisonperry. You can buy my book OMG It's Twins now. Music: Epidemic SoundArtwork: Eleanor BowmerSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/notanothermummy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.