I'm going to go into the Association tomorrow night. I'm the Denver Nuggets road to the NBA finals starts against the Los Angeles slippers who have Kawhi Leonard the plane great but that's about it. The Nuggets are four and a half point favorite going into the into a dome. I'm going to take the nuggets minus four and a half.
I'm going to be taking the Swedes against the U.S. hockey team later this afternoon plus one and a half. I think that's going to be a low scoring game. What holds to update and what else do you have?
Do you have a top five list of any sort for us today? Juju. Yes, sir. Happy Black History Month to everybody.
Keep it. Keep it out there as important as it is that no matter what color your skin is, it's the content of your character that matters. So in honor of that, I've put together a top five list of black celebrities that look like white celebrities and white celebrities that look like black celebrities. Whoa.
Okay. Well, I've got only one nominee and I'm assuming that this is going to be here, but we'll see. I'm going to sit it out until I see some more. Yeah, no, this is a great idea.
Do it. Oh, I trust yourself. Believe. Oh, well, I, Neil McDonough and Robert Richard.
Come on, man. You can't tell me who runs the list. That's pretty good. Like that.
I hate that we're excluding the audio audience on these photographs, but that's pretty good. Yes, sir. Man. Number five.
It's like a little triangle. Terence Howard, Benicio del Toro and Leonardo DiCaprio. They all got that same blue pit bull thing going on. Number four, Margot Robbie and Rochelle Eights.
Come on. Right on sister's lips. So much like you would think the same woman birthed to both of them. Number three, Ice tea and Peter Dinklitch.
Come on, man. That's a good one right there. You would not think that you're saying that. And if people don't have that picture, they would not agree with you.
Number two, one of my favorites, man. Hand that down a little bit future man. Future and Meryl Streep, man. Oh my God.
That's hard to do. I can't tell the difference. Which is which? Who is who?
They look so much alike. Something to follow. They don't do the same thing. It's a little bit future man.
And number one, of course, man. Jigga Troy, not guilty. J.D. Troy.
I might have given it away. We did that. Yeah. That's one I was going to choose.
Yeah, I did think better of it, but not for all the reasons because my judgment has been so good today. At Levittard Show, if you want to get in on the polls, did you get any audience wrestling submissions that were better than the ones Jeremy was giving us? Actually, I had him and then my boy, Jeremy kept firing him off and he hit everything on the list. So salute to the audience.
Paul Chrisall was one of the great contributors, but yeah, Jeremy had it covered. So in this place of that, I'm going to read this from an audience member. Law your audience member, Anastasia Williams. She says, Dan, I feel like you owe $350 in the fine bucket over the last three months due to your tone.
Terrible tone. Not being called out at all. Juju, can you relate this to Dan and consider it? Okay, so are you in agreement with that?
Because I do need to put some money in the fine bucket and the fine bucket is now something that has returned and has been empty for a while because somebody in the company, and this may be why I lashed out, stole the money from the fine bucket. And yeah, it was years ago. But stuff like that doesn't happen every day so that my tone gets bad. That should never happen.
You shouldn't steal from your fellow employees, especially when it's just my money in there. Unless it was Bob, then we're cool with it. Yeah, I'd be okay. Get a retire.
If it was Bob, if it was Bob the engineer, he kept the place afloat for a while. If it was funny. But how much do you say that I owe Juju because I might be willing to take it under consideration? I would say at least a Hyundai just because my brother Greg be taking it from all angles from your man.
You come in here and you look like I know it's ponto. But at the same time I'm going to come in here to give his best efforts and you just will smurch him at every turn knocking his feet from under him. Come on, man. Give the love dot no break.
Okay, so I will love Guru. Get it right. Celebrate the man's genius the way that it should be celebrated. I will pay the $100 fine, but I will tell you guys a secret here.
Okay, I will tell you guys a secret. Last week, Dazzlo didn't have cash. Dazzlo killed somebody. Dazzlo had to pay $50 fine.
I gave him $100 in order so that he could pay the fine visually. He never gave it back to me. Oh, where's the cash? Should be here?
And then he went to Vegas and he told me he was in roulette. So not only is there not the $50 in there from him that's supposed to be there, he went lost it in Vegas at roulette. And so now that's stealing up another $50 that Zazlo is stealing from the bucket. He was 200.
Yeah, he was 200. There's also been a revelation amongst the audience because of the cast and the evidence we have now. Dan, I think you want to be a Knicks man, bro. I'm looking at, I guess the comedians all have one thing in common.
Ship a container. What y'all think? Shoot your subject. Use your order.
Whoops. Okay. We should have said it all. I don't book the guests.
Too shay, tasay. Hard to believe. I don't have a question of the guest bookers. I don't actually book them myself.
I just tell them. So you think that I'm pressuring the guest bookers more Knicks stock? You guys think that's what I'm doing? Find me more comedians who want to talk about the Knicks.
You're just telling the truth today. All right. Okay. Yeah.
Sometimes we check the setlist at the store and we see who's a Knicks man and then we tell Coogs get me this guy. I don't like what my inner monologue has become a liar. My inner monologue is now lying to me. What your actions say, Dan?
I'm a part and the numbers. I don't have anything to do with the guest bookers. Like, what? Nothing.
I got it here today and they say, you know, you got the architect of the Dodgers. I'm like, that's great. I said, Oh, you think that I came in today? I came in today saying, get me Taylor 12.
Yes. Someone was actually me. I don't have anything to do with the guests. Michael.
It's my inner monologue who's doing this and then accusing me of being the next man while he's actually booking the guest. You're watching the book? Dan, the audience could give her a rat's ass. That's another tone fine too.
I've got another tone fine. It's $125 I'm paying today that is going to be in the next fine bucket. You ought to give it right to me since it's for Tony. Let's do Zaz's MVP of the day, shall we?
Yes, sir. I'm the of the day. You know what? It's not all about stats in sports.
Sometimes it's about something bigger than stats. His two minutes on the court were essential in Miami's big, big victory over Virginia Tech. He's a man from Istanbul and he is Istanbul. It's Salah Al-Tuntaj.
MVP of the day. You did it better than Zaz. Thank you. You stay in bowling.
That's his first appearance on Zazalah's MVP of the day. There you go. And last. And last.
Don't cut him out. He gave him two minutes last night. Two. He got beat in the post twice.
Valuable minutes. That's what she said. Let's update some polls here. There's been too much monkey toss in today's show that really has been...
It's Jeremy's fault. Let's go ahead and update the polls. You drew at Labotarch. What do you have?
Which is worse? Cheating with your brother's wife, cheating with your wife's sister, or cheating with your sister's wife. 40% of the audience says cheating with your wife's sister. Damn.
Heartbreak hotel. We didn't talk enough about that story, did we? Because I botched it right off the top. We did not actually talk enough about which of those would be worse.
Like the idea... If you had to come home and explain, if this is a secret that's being revealed in public that is a secret that you'd been able to keep in private, which is the worst of these disasters? Betraying your brother, betraying your sister, which is the worst? Mm.
Mm. Betraying your wife? Well, you're betraying your wife no matter what, right? So if it's her sister, you're betraying that...
...group of loved ones, right? Like her and her family, but at least your brother might still love you. If it's your brother's wife, then you're betraying your wife and you're betraying your brother, in which case you've really dropped everyone out of the situation. Oh, no, man.
If you're betraying your brother and your sister, that's your entire family. So that means your dad's gonna be angry. Your mom's gonna be angry. Your grandpa, your grandpa, your grandpa, your grandpa, your grandpa, your grandpa, your grandpa.
I'm gonna be pissed. I can tell you which one has the most game, though. Most importantly, on Get Up the Lower Third right now is Mick Ronan and Colin. I could give a rat's ass about the other two students.
Your ass! I could give a rat's teacher. Is the handshake line unfairly biased towards left-handed people? 76% of the audience says yes it is.
Damn. And last poll, is it redundant to say a pissed-off Mick Ronan? Come on, dude. 95% of the audience says yes it is, and those are your polls.
Thank you, Juju. I can't believe today's show also had in it the reasonable accusation. It wasn't me, it was the one-armed man. That is a crazy thing.
Also, what today's show did not have here is, as punctuation, RFK and wet jeans that he decided to go into the Whirlpool and the pool with. With Kid Rock, he is in charge of our country's health. This is extraordinarily bad judgment. Put it on the poll for tomorrow, Juju at Lebitard show.
Should you ever go into the pool with jeans, even if it's to save someone who's drowning?