Powerless or in Control: Rethinking Addiction Recovery with Dr. Daniel Hochman

Sonia sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Hochman for a candid, nuanced conversation on addiction, recovery, and what actually works in the real world in this episode of Sisters in Sobriety. Daniel Hochman, is a board-certified psychiatrist and creator of Self Recovery, an online program helping people address substance and behavioral addictions through a science-based, psychologically informed approach that prioritizes privacy, agency, and emotional understanding. The conversation explores the limits of traditional recovery models, including where 12-step programs can feel outdated or incomplete, and why concepts like “powerlessness” may actually undermine long-term change. Sonia and Dr. Hochman dig into questions around agency vs. external control, whether addiction is a disease or learned behavior, and how approaches like urge surfing, emotional regulation, and behavioral strategies fit into recovery. They also examine the role of medication like Antabuse and naltrexone, the rise of alternative recovery models, and how high-achieving individuals experience addiction differently. Dr. Hochman reframes addiction as a response to “intolerable emotions,” highlighting how anxiety, dissatisfaction, and internal conflict can quietly drive addictive behaviors. He introduces a practical framework—moving from underlying distress to cravings to action—and explains how different “points of attack” can interrupt that cycle.  As the conversation unfolds, Sonia shares her own experience navigating sobriety outside of traditional systems, including her curiosity about the 12 steps and her journey into emotional sobriety. The episode shifts into a more personal exploration of identity—especially for high achievers whose self-worth is tied to performance—and what it looks like to rebuild a sense of self without alcohol. Through this lens, recovery becomes less about restriction and more about rediscovery, experimentation, and learning how to sit with discomfort rather than escape it. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Highlights [00:00] Introduction to Dr. Daniel Hochman and Self Recovery [01:00] Why willpower isn’t enough in addiction recovery [02:00] What a psychiatrist actually does in addiction treatment [03:00] Early exposure to rehab systems and gaps in care [04:00] Problems within the addiction treatment industry [05:00] The role of untrained providers in recovery spaces [06:00] Sonia’s experience exploring the 12 steps [07:00] “Powerlessness” and the problem with vague frameworks [09:00] Locus of control and reclaiming agency in recovery [12:00] Why vague advice like “try harder” doesn’t work [14:00] What traditional recovery models get right—and wrong [16:00] Why addiction science hasn’t been fully integrated into AA [18:00] Addiction as a response to underlying emotional distress [20:00] Trauma, boredom, dissatisfaction, and hidden drivers [22:00] The “current” model: from pain to craving to action [24:00] Urge surfing and behavioral tools for early sobriety [26:00] Why deep emotional work shouldn’t come first [28:00] Limitations of CBT and surface-level therapy [30:00] Inside the Self Recovery program framework [33:00] Sobriety vs. moderation: choosing your own path [36:00] Medications in recovery: Antabuse vs. naltrexone [41:00] High achievers, identity, and addiction patterns [45:00] Rebuilding a sense of self beyond achievement [49:00] Rediscovering hobbies, curiosity, and joy in sobriety [51:00] One simple awareness practice to start changing behavior Dr. Hochman's Links Self Recovery's Website: https://www.selfrecovery.org/ Self Recovery's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfrecoveryhealth/ SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram