Pretty

It's a trendy topic,talking about women's bodieswhat's good, what's badwhether fat is the fadbut my only thoughtis how goddamn amazingthis body that I'm in isMine went from failing,dying of diseaseto giving lifeto two children, andcarrying them with relative easeWatching as my belly grewmy little boobs, too!Amazed that my body could grow two other liveswhen not long agoit could barely hold mineand then on a Fridaythis body told me it was timemy babies were ready and so was Ifor 34 weeks and 5 daysmy bones and my brain and my blooddid the work of sustaining three liveshis, hers, and mineIt's so easy to forget whatmy body does for us, for mewhen I catch myself in the mirrorand don't like what I seeCellulite on my ass androlls in my middleI jiggle when I run up the stairsbut I have to remember that for years,I looked into my eyes with contemptnot for being too big, but for being too thinMy knobby knees and the veins in my wristsI saw all the thingsI wished I could beToo thin, too bigI'll probably never beexactly the way I'd like to beI value not fixating on appearance, butI get sucked into thinking those thoughts that sayyou should run more, you need to shaveget your hair done, do something with your faceI see the girls on the 'gramjust doing their best,but their message tells meI need this, I need that, spend to be your best!Slow down, put down the phonemy daughter is watching.I feel a little crack in my heartknowing that already I havetold her that pretty is the currencywhen I get done up to go outshe sticks her little finger in my eyeshadowand swipes it across her toddler eyelidshit, she's been watching,says, look at me, mommy!I tell her she's cute all the damn timebecause it's just what we saybecause to me she's perfect in every waybut what message is she taking away?how can I tell her, show her, let her knowthat pretty isn't equivalent to her worthI know there's something else I should saybut it doesn't come to me naturallyWhat I mean when I say'you're so cuuuute!'is that I love the way you smileyour laugh fills my cupI love watching every little thing you doyou're smart, you're clever,you're perfectly, wonderfullyuniquely youI'll spend my life tailoring my wordsbecause I want her to know her worth.To me she is precious and I hope she neverlooks at someone and thinks, 'I wish I were her'.Well,this little poem went from a simple ideaabout how my body is amazing just for existingto a love letter to my daughterand an apology for so often forgettingthat looks are not everythingMy little love, the world will surely tell youthat it's in your best interest to diligently followthe standards that are set for youthey'll tell you what beautiful isand convince you that it's not youbut my wish is that you have the courage to beall that you are and not what you 'could be'and though we falter, always remember,pretty isn't everything, not even closeyou're precious and perfectin all of your faults.Read the original poem at morganbarrett.co/post/pretty Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Get full access to Chronically Candid at morgannbarrett.substack.com/subscribeSupport my work by reading & subscribing to Chronically Candid on Substack at morgannbarrett.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.