[PREVIEW] 🎙🧚‍♀️ #061 - The Rise of Skywalker

Episode IX! (pronounced icks!, as in "icks, get it off me!") The final chapter. The final episode. All roads led here. Well, except for the road that Rian Johnson masterfully constructed in the previous film. And the road that the Original Trilogy carved out that put a definite dead end on the lane belonging to the character of Palpatine. But all the other roads led here!It's time to close out the Skywalker Saga in style, with Kylo's reforged (by a chimp) ridiculous helmet, Leia's off-cuts, Rose erasure, blink-and-you'll-miss-it same-sex intimacy representation, Chewie disrespected with a fake-out death then paid off with a meaningless bronze participation medal from a random character that's still 42 years too late.The first lines of the opening crawl should have read:The toxic fans spoke! Loudly and often! And Disney listened!Discussed in this episode:The dead speak! In the game Fortnite! DJ Palps rockin' the airwaves!Cape-wearing weirdosSnokes - buy 2 get 1 free! [*warning: Snoking is damaging to your health]How astronauts showerLeia the SphinxWait - how did Kylo and his discarded helmet make it off Starkiller Base before it exploded?Video game fetch quest plottingEssential jetpack-trooper take-off springboardsPalpatine's sex talkC3PO's impossible-to-override safe-search functionWhen I get that feelin', I want Force Healin'... ♫Palpatine's HorcruxesKylo's imperviousness to whiplashPoe not being gay, but having a face obscuration fetishRey miraculously standing in the exact perfect spot to align a one-function Swiss Army dagger with a distant landmark as part of another one of Luke's pointless Easter Egg huntsHard Light Force Ghosts - living your best afterlifeKylo's Japanese influencesDark Rey, Dark BaeKylo's useless lightsaber crossbarsRey wanting to take Kylo's hand, but not in a Vader-Luke senseFair-weather Resistance alliesDinosaur coinsHow the most victorious moment of the final battle, when every spaceship in the galaxy shows up (late) to help, is really just another example of this trilogy's complete disrespect for the perils of lightspeed travelPalpatine's chronic indecision and magical wardrobe change (what's the secret of The Emperor's New Clothes? I have no f***ing idea.)The overarching problem of the SequelsWedge Antilles' most impressive manoeuvre: doing a blistering 180 on his pouty decision to not appear in this trilogy.(if you want to sync it up to the film, we hit PLAY @ 02:53)