Prison should have ended me

On The Tomorrow Is Not Today podcast, Kingsley interviews his longtime friend Patrick, an Ohio-based husband, father of four, artist, pastor, and entrepreneur who has travelled widely doing prison outreach. Patrick recounts growing up in a broken home after his father left when he was about five, moving from Denver to inner-city Cleveland and into poverty, and later going to Colorado to find his father only to encounter severe abuse, alcoholism, drugs, and violence. Feeling unseen, he lashed out and returned to Cleveland angrier, quickly entering crime and substance use. At 16 he was arrested on five counts of kidnapping, aggravated robbery with a gun, and a home invasion, facing a minimum of 45 years, and while incarcerated learned his brother Larry—who had not been in trouble—was stabbed to death; his best friend was stabbed in the heart and survived but remains blind and paralysed. The killer avoided prison, had political connections, was given the knife back in court, and later became a police officer, prompting Patrick to plan revenge until he heard a voice in his cell telling him it would not honor his brother. Patrick describes choosing forgiveness—also forgiving himself—through an intense spiritual experience in solitary confinement and later through therapy focused on healing his inner child. He explains he avoided adult court after telling the judge the truth, accepting responsibility, and apologising to victims; the judge kept him in the juvenile system, reducing potential time to about four and a half years. In prison he pursued education and skills, then was released with a condition he return to Colorado, where he connected with a supportive church community (where he met Kingsley) that helped him rebuild his life. Patrick says his purpose is tied to his deepest wounds and describes creating businesses (coffee shops and construction) that employ only people coming out of prison or drug treatment, citing an 87% success rate and emphasising that many incarcerated people have unresolved childhood trauma. He shares an example of “Big Al,” a large, institutionalised former violent offender who had never had a birthday celebrated; after Patrick and an Australian team threw him a surprise birthday and symbolically burned his prison items, Al’s life changed and he has not returned to prison or harmed anyone in over 10 years. The episode closes with Patrick’s guidance on legacy: recognise your inherent worth and the brevity of life, find what makes you feel alive, and use your gifts for something bigger than yourself that benefits others.00:00 Wounded to Purpose: The Pain That Shaped My Calling01:14 Welcome to the Podcast + Meet Patrick (Husband, Dad, Pastor, Entrepreneur)03:14 Childhood in a Broken Home: Poverty, Identity, and Growing Up Unseen06:54 Colorado Reality Check: Alcoholism, Abuse, and the Dream Dad That Wasn’t09:18 Lashing Out for Attention: The Gun Incident and Fleeing Back to Cleveland14:36 Street Life Spiral: Drugs, Violence, and the Arrest at 1616:18 Tragedy Behind Bars: Brother’s Murder, Injustice, and the Pull of Revenge19:05 The Turning Point: Hearing God, Choosing Fuel Over Fire, and Learning Forgiveness25:06 Forgiving Yourself First: Grace, Therapy, and Healing the Inner Child33:42 Redefining Success: Purpose, Legacy, and the ‘Hard Worker’ Funeral Warning36:22 More Than Nice Stuff: Legacy, Purpose & Serving Others38:54 How Patrick Got Out Early: Owning the Truth in Court41:38 Prison as a Training Ground: Turning Pain Into Growth42:37 Back to Colorado: Doubters, Fresh Start & Finding Community47:56 The Power of Presence: Hospitality That Changes Lives50:35 Purpose From Pain: Building Second-Chance Businesses53:51 Big Al’s Story: Being Seen for the First Time01:04:31 Final Takeaways: Worth, Brevity of Life & Living Without Regret