Proactively Preparing for End of Life; What Experience do You Want? EP 80

In 2011, Valoria Walker's mother was nearing her end of life. While Valoria's sister was her primary caregiver, Valoria provided respite care when she could. There was a point when her mother's health was in serious decline and she was moved from the hospital to hospice. She had chosen to end her dialysis treatments and did not want to be on a ventilator.   Valoria was there with her. Within a couple of hours, her mother was started on powerful anti-anxiety meds and soon slipped into unconsciousness. Hospice staff explained that "sometimes, they don't awaken, again."   While her actually passing wasn't immediate, essentially, her mother was gone and Valoria and her sister would not have another chance to have those final, oh-so-important conversations with their mother. There was no closure. No goodbye. Valoria's brother missed the whole experience!   Not surprisingly, this was a powerful turning point for Valoria; one that would change her life and the course of her work. She began working on Advance Planning Directives, to help others in similar situations have a different experience, to help those who were anticipating their own passing to have a say in what would happen and how the process would progress.   Eventually, she found "Doula" training, jumped in, and formed her practice: Doula by Destiny! Her mission is to ensure others don't have the same kind of experience her family had.   Her time now is spent helping others plan for their transitions thoughtfully, so that the individual's wishes are known and honored. She gets to know and support whole families. She is able to have potentially uncomfortable conversations that loved ones may avoid.   She notes that while we seem to be getting better about talking about death – before it happens – there's still a lot of fear and discomfort associated with it. She wants to reframe how we think about, talk about, and experience it.   Listen in as Valoria and host, Laura Prisc, share experiences, insights, and resources that may help you have a different experience when the time comes.   Valoria's Bio:   Valoria Walker is an Advance Care Planning Trainer and End-of-Life Doula. She is the founder of her private practice called Doula by Destiny. As COVID-19 continued to spread, Valoria pivoted her business to serve patients and caregivers by providing companion calls and virtual meetings.   Valoria partners with organizations to promote the significance of advance care planning for medical emergencies and holistic care at the end of life. Serving as a speaking ambassador to bring awareness of The End-of-Life Doula Movement, her desire is for everyone to achieve comfort and peace at the end of life.   Her recent accomplishments include her interview, Parting Gift, published in the October edition of The Oprah Magazine. She is the reigning Grand Prize winner of the 2019 Boom Competition sponsored by AARP.   Her plans are to continue supporting individuals in various care settings to stay connected to her calling and the community. She sits as an Advisory Council Member, International End of Life Doula Association (INELDA), and End-of-Life Doula Advisory Council Member for NHPCO.  Valoria holds a Master's in Management of Aging Services. She believes receiving a degree is an accomplishment, but having compassion is a gift.   Connect with Valoria + Resources:  Oprah Magazine – Parting Gift  What is a Doula? Article  Let's Talk Aging Article  Human Composting? Article  Recompose Life – Composting Service