Proteus (1995)

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Visit oiko's.ca for more details. Welcome to another episode of American Proteus. No, we are our horror movie night. We are here to talk about the movie Proteus.

As picked. Harvey Nodius. As picked by Scott, Scott, this was like a game day decision maker almost. Certainly was.

What changed your mind? Because we were supposed to be talking about the beloved American psycho. He messaged us on Sunday and said, hey, we're changing this. We're letting this game winning call.

Benji. Once again, Benji. Come in with Quutch. Because he said, hey, have you ever heard of Proteus?

And I was like, no, I haven't. He was like, well, Kyle knows it. And he did the same thing. He got me twice.

He did the same thing. We can't trust him. We can't trust him anymore. He honestly can.

Because this is the timeline. Is he told me a week ago, hey, check out Proteus. And I was like, sure, why not? I recognize the cover.

I was like, oh, I don't know them. I was going to say, I don't remember this name. I saw that box art. And I was like, I have seen this box art.

But I've never watched the movie until yesterday, I suppose. And I knew nothing about it. So I turned it on. So I saw that it was a 2B link.

I was like, fuck yeah, let's do this. Because American Psycho is just not like very fun. It's part of the zeitgeist so much that I'm just like, well, can we get a good episode out of it? Maybe?

I would argue that now's not the time to be doing that. Yeah, good fucking point. I think that the problem is I still enjoy American Psycho when I watch it. It's not a movie I put on often, but when I do watch it, I'm like, oh, this is fun.

But I feel like we've gotten so close to being back to this yuppy, Regan Youth vibe. And like all of this. Let me just say that. And all the things that that movie is like, satirizing and then you factor in that it's like right up there with Fight Club is one of those movies where the message gets lost on morons who make it their identity.

So it's like, I just, 2025, I feel like American Psycho doesn't go down quite as smooth as it did when I watched it in 2004. That's a good point. Very good point. So you know what, we really got to give some flowers to Benji for this one.

But here's kind of the short version. I can see to that. Yeah. Yeah.

And I think this movie also is very boring at large, swag, large, absolutely boring. But here's the thing about it is that I knew nothing about the background of this until I was like, oh, that's a 2B link. Fuck yeah, we're going to watch it. And I was like, oh, he pitched it to me as it's a fish monster who can shape shift into humans on an abandoned oil rig.

I was like, that sounds right up my alley. So I found a 2B link. I was like, hey guys, you know, last minute, let's change it up as long as nobody's watched American Psycho for this already. So never even heard of American Psycho before.

Yeah, exactly. Watch this equal before. So I start watching Proteus. And I am blown away because this film is based on the 1983 novel, Slimer, by John Brosnan.

And Slimer is one of those just, it's everywhere in the retro horror paperbacks group that I'm in. Like people are always talking about it. And when you look at the cover of Slimer, then you look at what Charlie Proteus, the monster in this, looks like at the end, it makes so much sense. It also really like kind of crystallizes why this movie is kind of a mess because it's taking the book and trying to sanitize it a little bit.

Now I have not read the book, but I know enough Trish here, I believe that we can get into the reasonings, why. But the second part about why this is such a great HMM pick is the director Bob Keene. Did you look him up at all? Dude, okay, I did.

It's wild. I'm very keen on him. Like three movies in 95, all of them are insane. Well, I do have the three of them are insane.

This being one of them. And the other one being fucking with Meat Loaf. Oh my god, what was it called? To Catch a Yeti.

Yeah. Which if you look at the cover that's at least on Letterbox, it looks like somebody made that poster three years ago as a meme. Like does not feel like it's real at all. And I was shocked.

So 95 for Bob Keene was a crazy year, but he's got a couple other odd balls in it. I don't think that you're really getting into the reason why he's at home. Have you looked at his makeup work? Oh, his makeup work is way more important than anything else.

I'm saying. I'm here. Shouldn't have the corn too. Hellraiser one, two, and three.

Event Horizon, Dog Soldier's hardware, Candyman, Life Force, crawl and someone at Empire strikes back and returns another Jedi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. That's what I was leading with.

So because I was. You also forgot to mention Dungeons and Dragons from the year 2000, where he was the makeup effects player. I didn't care about the ones that weren't horror for our show, man. But recently, even hard, did you mention hardware?

Yeah, hardware. Literally a month ago from when it's Ross. He was the makeup effects artist. Hold on.

There's one more movie that he directed though called Jim's Gift. I'm a serious stranger, a presenter boy with a VCR that can play the past and the future. It's a kid children's movie. We got Jim's gift.

Sounds amazing. Well, Nick Frost is in Jim's gift. So you know what's going to tell him a bull. In 1994, Nick Frost.

So getting Nick Bradley, Nick Bradley, getting Doug Bradley for this is very funny to me as well, because he's in full-face makeup. Yeah, like full-face latex makeup for this. And he gets his two minutes on screen just like Hellraiser. And I'm like, Doug Bradley knows how to fucking work.

Because that man is like, well, I'm known as the guy who wears a mask. I will be in your movie for five minutes. Tops. What do you think he does in the six hours of makeup chair?

Like what is his, what is his? He definitely listens to audio books. He's two audiobooks. That man is probably an audiobook of file.

Yes. And it's something very smug. I love him. I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

But anyway, so the first line of the movie, and we'll get into the plot, I promise I will be good about it. I wrote very good notes on it. And I will read them off instead of getting sidetracked. But my first favorite, which there are two really great lines in this movie.

The first line is cut the shit, wear the drugs. And I think that really sets the pace for this fucking movie, right? Because it also... It sets the pace for a movie that I don't think has much pacing.

No, it doesn't because it takes 20 minutes to get to a monster. And the first time we see Charlie the Monster, it's a Yuvula covered in goo. But again, for the listeners, Kyle is a bit under the weather. I think he might be a little slimy.

So I'm going with negative outlook from false hope. It has. Because spoiler alert, the monster doesn't get killed in this thing rip off. And boy, I'm not drinking liquid.

I got liquid. Which is because I'm not far off from what this is. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You mentioned it, let's just address it for what it is. This is definitely a thing.

Oh, absolutely. I would say my least favorite aspect of this movie, filled with these evil, dead style POV shots that are pretty funny. I could not figure out what the fuck was happening in most of those shots, because they have this like gel over the camera on top of the POV. He's a slime.

I'm like, Charlie, you have a slimmer. That is true. He is a slime. If you would have done your research, you know, sorry, this film didn't have a Wikipedia page.

That's usually about where my research starts today. Oh, man. All right. Well, then let's give the plots an opsist for the our dear listeners so that they can get kind of the cliffs notes of what this is about without having to watch an hour and 20 minutes of it.

So there are five heroin smugglers that their ship blows up, burns down whatever. And they find an abandoned oil rig. As they explore it, they realize that it is being used or was being used for genetic experimentation. And I have a note that says, I think you can guess where this is going.

We've already given it away. It's a shape shifting synthetic life form who we find out much later, thanks to Dr. Shelley, the very terrible Russian accented scientist, gives this whole exposition posthumously via a videotape that one of the drug smugglers watches. They have been doing on this oil rig was there.

They created synthetic DNA. They injected it into a shark named it Charlie. And then Charlie seemingly died until they realized that Charlie was actually eating, consuming people who he could then transform into them. But there are two problems with Charlie.

One is that Charlie is always fighting his consumed humans because there's kind of still inside him and they're trying to fight him for control of the body. They never succeed for more than a couple minutes of exposition. His other problem is heroin. He loves some fucking heroin.

What are the odds that the heroin smugglers find this oil rig? And they've also got a little Danny Peck. What the fucking heroin? The drug smugglers stock up on a surprising amount of automatic weapons on board.

They eat some possibly rotten food. And then Paul becomes Proteus' first victim and a very evil dead two inspired scene. They run around the oil rig looking for Paul, who is one of the women's boyfriends. And she screams his name a bunch.

It's very annoying. This movie is a long time. Yeah, there's a lot of annoying screaming in this movie. And he's not like, ah, I'm in pain.

It's like, Paul, where are you Paul? Very, very, very, not since, not since. Poltergeist 3. Have we heard someone's name yelled so much in the run-t If you ever want to know what, um, who's the guy, uh, David Harbour that plays Red Guardian in the MCU, when they were like, when the MCU directors or board of directors were like, hey, you need to do a shitty Russian accent.

Watch Proteus 1995. That's where you're getting your accent. He gives a little bit of vague exposition and then he locks the door. And they're like, fuck this.

They shoot the door open. Only to find another scientist who shows up. And she begins, um, and they find out that she, that's where you first see that Charlie can only sometimes control his, his victims' psyches that are inside of him. Um, but she's very visibly a stretch.

She has a, uh, this demonic voice doubling thing that goes on. And then she proceeds to throw Alex, who is easily 240 pounds of pure fucking muscle through a glass wall, but no one's really freaking out just yet. So she runs off. She actually doesn't run off.

She kind of just hobbles off. And then Paul's girlfriend, um, Rachel? Yeah, Rachel. She kind of is like, she, she points her gun at, at this doctor's like, fuck it.

Why? So she just like goes to check on Alex. They, um, pick Alex up and then this mercenary named Buckley shows up. And you think, oh, he's going to get more exposition.

He's going to help them. Nope. It's Charlie. And so they get the first kind of look at what Charlie can do.

And they, they, they shoot him. He runs away. Blah, blah, blah. Uh, but during this, this altercation, Rachel gets smacked across the room.

So she's knocked out. They take her to the infirmary. And while she's in the infirmary, that little gross gooey uvula plops itself into her mouth and she isn't, she gets slimed and then she's fine. So the slime gets like, suck back up somehow.

They, um, she comes on to this other guy, Eric, who is nodding off because he shot up some of the heroin, I believe. And then she's like, no, no, it's not me. It's the monster. And he's like, you're acting weird.

I'm going to go get the others. And she's like, no. And then she absorbs him. So it's now basically down to Alex is Linda, the other one.

That sounds right. Whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. No, Linda.

I'm sorry. Rachel has been consumed. So, um, Alex and Linda watch this whole exposition, uh, tape from Dr. Shelly.

He's explaining that how they made this synthetic DNA shark creature who then ate everybody. And he's like, and I know that we cannot kill him. So I may as well be consumed by him and be with the others, which is not a smart idea. I wouldn't want to be immortal, but I'm also not a mad scientist.

He never will be without attitude scutt. The thing about this exposition is they explain Charlie's one weakness. Heroin, as I said, Heroin. Alex shoots Rachel, just pisses her off and we get to see kind of some of this.

We get to see some creature feature stuff. But I wonder if there, do you guys know or were you wondering if there is some better cut of this because it seems to me like a lot of the cuts were short. They were fast and I'm like show the director did monster movie makeup. I know that there's more in the canister here.

I've read somewhere that this was made for TV. I don't know where I was. No, I think that you're confusing this with Lords of the Deep, which came up after this immediately on 2B, which was a made for TV movie, which is almost identical from this. Okay.

I also think that looking at the rest of Bob Keene's career, he, the few films he did direct a lot of them are direct to TV, including to G and Jim's gift and a few others. But no, this one is not listed as a TV on I think it must there must have been a different cut because then also the two companies that came together to make this end up splitting right after this. So I just wonder if they, this was just a mess of a movie that you want to see. You know it's an awesome movie.

I wonder if it makes me curious. Yeah, it didn't feel like it had all its pieces and then the pieces that it did have felt really stretched for not a, not a great reason or no reason at all. I just wish that we got some more gooey monster fun, but we, Paul, so Paul shows up. It's very obvious.

So Paul was Linda's boyfriend, I guess, not Rachel, it was my bad. Paul shows up and he's like, Linda, it's me. Where's the heroine? I just, I love that this movie exists because I guess that like in the book, which I've not read, but I read a little bit of the, the, the, the comparison of the book to the movie.

So Alex, who turns out to be an undercover DEA agent who's been doing a sting on the other four drug smugglers for months, he's like, I'm trying to save you Linda. And she's like, well, how can I trust you? And he's like, I know that we're the only two ones who aren't Charlie who have not been consumed by Charlie. So Paul shows up and he's like, where's the drugs?

But in the book, Alex is like an asshole and he, I believe gets Charlie addicted to heroin. It's not like, it wasn't like the scientists did it by accident or on purpose or whatnot. It's like, it makes more sense in the books because they're like, oh, we got all this heroin and then they feed it to the monster. What doesn't matter?

Paul gets a grenade in his shirt and he's like, oh, what's this? And then explodes. And then they go back to burn the body. It has sucked its way into event only for Mr.

Brinkstone, who is played by the Inimitable Bradley. He shows up with a bunch more mercenaries who are just cannon fodder, but he also surprisingly shows up with an explosive, a 15 minute explosive that Charlie Proteus and Dr. Shelley in the, Proteus as Dr. Shelley shows up and attacks the mercenaries.

I'm wondering if the guy who got his throat slit didn't become immortal because that would be the way that I would want to go because literally everyone dies in this movie, even though that there's a sort of happy ending, but not really. If I'm the guy whose neck is bleeding out and I'm not getting consumed by Charlie, that's the way I want to go. If you are Charlie out there listening, just slip throat. Brinkstone gets...

It's gotta be with the tentacle. Yeah, it looks sick. The worst part of this, the worst kill in this movie, or the most horrific killing is Brinkstone who gets what looks like a massive earthworm shoved down his throat and he does have a chance to hit that explosive, that charger. And so they get 15 minutes on the ship.

It's more like six or seven minutes of screen time to show Charlie in his full form, which is literally like a 15 foot tall mutated shark slash human monstrosity and it's screaming with all these different voices of the people it's consumed. That's really the payoff of this movie. That's what you're here for. You sit through all of that moment.

But the other best line that becomes when Charlie is like, Gotta make the fucking drugs. And he's... No, Charlie says I am the future. I am like the perfect evolution and Alex in his best Australia because he has Australian with his thickest Australian accent.

He goes, you're a fucking fish with a drug habit. And then like he tries to burn him. Yeah, Charlie's a guy saying he's a big old world. Give me that cuz, give me that.

It was all practical facts too, by the way. This is like, this is not just sort of like a sci-fi channel, like animated monster. This thing, which thing? Yeah, yeah, it's really, really sick looking.

It's too bad we don't have like 30 minutes of the monster. We instead have like five. But the explosion rocks the oil rig. Somehow Alex and Linda make their way onto a helicopter and one of Brinkstone's mercenaries flies them off only to show us at the very end that it is Charlie.

That's why I have a negative outlook because everyone dies and Charlie gets away to infect the entire human race. And now the war on drugs continues. Never ends. It's me, Paul.

Where's the drugs? Where's the drugs? One kind of drugs, Paul. Yeah, this was, I just remember the cover.

I never remember, I did not know anything about this one. I got confused with Prophecy when I was a kid in a movie. They're both peas. They were probably next to each other.

They're all around the world. Yeah, and, you know, Prophecy is a sicker cover. And it's also what? Prophecy is covered.

So he's so, this would really took a lot from other movies for itself. Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did. But it gave us a nice monster.

I'd love some sort of figure of this monster. That would be pretty cool. I agree. Care for your skin.

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Some things are better when they're kept simple. Like simply lemonade made with real lemons and cane sugar giving you a fresh all-natural taste that shines through in every sip. It's the kind of drink that turns an everyday moment into something a little more special. Alright, refreshing and crafted for people who appreciate the real thing.

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Or are you just looking for a modern or classic anime to add to your plane and watch list? My name is Nick and I want to be a white boot and you lose podcasts. And you get check me out on ekekscape.net. Well, Scott, if you had friends over to watch this movie, what else would you watch with it?

I don't know if they'd be friends afterwards. But I kind of think that I'd go with Deep Star 6 because it feels like- Goddamn it! Nice. You can have my other one if you want.

No, go for it. It's fine. Deep Star 6. He's not mad much anyway.

I mean, you could go with Deep Rising. No, well that was my plan, David. I'm sorry. No, Deep Star 6 makes the most sense.

It hits this similar vibe where it's like, alright, we're sitting through a lot of characters just talking, but it's all worth it when you see this like, great full shot of this creature where you're just like, holy shit, was this worth the wait. Although you might still be- The Kno-2B where the wait is longer with commercials. That's basketball. Just watch it on- Watch it on your computer.

No commercials and you can fast forward 30 seconds a bunch, which is how I finish this movie in under an hour. And still got the- That's like the plots and obstacles. This was the two hours- Oh my- That sounds cool. I feel like- Yeah, no, it wasn't a fun two hours.

No, and I'm sorry for that one. Fine. Deep Rising. I'm going to take it before Kyle talks.

I'm going to take out of night- or John Borsen- Brosnan, excuse me. Book, screenplay that we've talked about on the show, Plenty, and that's Carnesor. I'm just going to do- Solid. A double feature there of the novels.

So I got to go Carnesor. I love it. Wait, so is Harry Adam Knight the guy who wrote Slimer under Alex Brosnan's? Undo.

I don't know. That guy had like three pseudonyms. John- yeah, John Brosnan is the real name he wrote as Harry Adam Knight. Okay, alright.

Well that also explains why a lot of people put Slimer and the fungus, which I have the fungus as Death's Sport because it's a much cooler book title. That's in my collection though. Death's sp- Just re-issue. If you love hearing these conversations and boy- We know you do.

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Visit our online shop at hmnpodcast.dashery.com and you get to meet me if you're in Scranton on November 7th or 8th when I'll be at Creature Feature Weekend. Do it all up guys. It's going to be an absolute blast. We are just trucking around to the end of 2025 here at Horror Movie Night and now the last part of the show.

Scott, what is something that you read? Watch, listen to it, et cetera. You want to talk about it? I just wanted to mention that I have been watching, I have not yet finished, but I have been watching Alien Earth and it's really good.

It's also really long. The episodes just feel, they're like movies. I'm only on episode four and I've heard that episode five is like basically the best, the best Alien movie since Alien. So I'm really waiting for that.

We started, we started that show with Barb's oldest because he loves Xenomorphs and I haven't gotten past episode two because it is, like you said, every episode feels like such a lot of long, and the reality is it's like, I think it's almost too high concept. It's like a 13 year old's attention. Yeah, he's only invested when there's an Alien moment and then he's completely out of it. So I think he has a lot of his image.

I mean, that is one cool thing. I particularly enjoy the fact that it has four kinds of Aliens in it. It's really, really cool. Yeah.

No, the setup alone is really dope. I think we just need to start from scratch with Al and just binge it when it's all done maybe later on. I'm going to give a very quick shout out to a movie that I feel like inevitably we're going to have to cover. But I never seen it before.

I saw that it dropped on Peacock. I knew it was divisive. I figured I've seen every other film in this franchise. I don't know how I've never seen this one.

And I watched Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. Oh, you really have never watched Halloween 2? Interesting. I've never watched Halloween 2.

And I'm going to say that I'm part of the group of people who think that's better than the first Rob Zombie Halloween movie. Wait, I'm going to say like, I'm in that group too. I didn't think that that was that small of a group because like I don't like Halloween. Rob Zombie's Halloween.

But I felt like Rob Zombie's Halloween is a objectively bad movie. Man, the one star of yours is just fucking pouring in now. Look, here's my hot take. Are you ready for this one?

I think Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 is the best part two of any Halloween franchise we've gotten. I would take this over the original part two and I would take this over Halloween kills. Now, that is not taking. That's very interesting.

I can tell you that I would take it over Halloween kills any day because I fucking hate it Halloween kills. Yeah, Halloween kills is a choice of the bottom of the movie. Obviously Halloween kills is worse than six. Like it is the worst.

Wow. I will watch literally old. I will watch any other movie in the series twice before I watch. Back to back.

I will watch it two times in a row, one sitting before I sit in my ass down and watch even ten minutes of Halloween kills. Hey, hold. Brian and I were talking about this. Literally today we had lunch and past host Brian Kelly, my brother.

And he was like, yeah, he's like, I re-watched that movie the other day. He's like, don't try to remake the monsters on Mulberry Street Twilight Zone episode with Michael Myers. It's a bad idea. And it's like that is what that movie is.

It's the other thing that like you and I got went off when it finally came out. But like Halloween ends is so good, which I know is a take. I don't want to say it's so good. It's better than people gave it credit for is what I will say.

It's better than people gave it credit for, but the biggest thing that it highlights is how unnecessary Halloween kills is. It's like worthless. Not only is that movie bad, but like 90% of that movie is retconned or like not that important when you get to Halloween ends. But yeah, I mean, I guess what I'm saying is because I also re-watched the original Halloween 2, which you know I have mixed feelings about.

I just re-watching Halloween 2, you get some good kills and you obviously get some iconic nudity. But the pacing of that movie is just fucking dog shit compared to the movie. We're like this one. It's like at least it's just like fun.

It's a little bit more fun to me. I feel like it does this cool thing where you get what you expect part two of these franchises to be because it starts in a hospital, but then we do that time jump to be like that didn't happen. These are nightmares that she's having. It's been a year.

And then like the movie kind of goes from that point. And I think the movie is much more enjoyable after those hospital scenes. But I just I just thought it was not sitting here saying it's in my top five or anything. But like for a movie that I think often gets placed pretty low, I would put it in the middle.

I would say that it is it is definitely better than Halloween kills. It's better than Halloween six. It's better than Halloween resurrection. And it's better than Rob Zombie Halloween for me.

So I just I was pleasantly surprised. I put it off for years hearing that it was not a particular story. And I have. You know what?

You have you have me on the fence about rewatching it this month. But you know, I think I'm just going to wait until you pick it probably next year. Yeah, eventually we're going to have to do it. I'd much rather watch that than.

Yeah. No, understandably, I haven't I haven't watched that since the morning of my wedding. That was the last time I watched Halloween to what what a wedding. Yeah, nothing makes me feel more romantic than Rob Zombie's Halloween to.

I don't I don't know why I don't remember why I just put on. That's all I have it on. That's like taking fucking notes. I have a picture of me in my wedding socks and Malcolm McDowell's face just right now.

Just on the TV. I'll be side the devil's toes. He's sides watching Halloween too on your wedding day. What have you watched listen to read that you want to talk about?

I've been I've been thumbing through the Shirley Jackson collection stories. It's released as a lottery, which obviously is probably Jackson's most famous short. I never visited really any of Jackson's other work and it's really fantastic. I mean, there's this there's this lovely way of this and like not all of it's horror, like honestly, honestly, most of it that I've gotten to is and I'm like I'm like a third through the book, but there's you know, that's about 15 short already.

I'm about, you know, and it's given me a good idea of Jackson's writing style and there's this there's this thing about describing the mundane and having them in Dane also have other layers to it usually just one or two layers in the shorts, but like there's this one my life with R.D. Macy and it's just this woman describing her first three days of taking a job at Macy's and what it is. It's it's every but the lines are written in the way that you're getting sort of trained at Macy's. So everything has a code everything has like a radiation or a number she has a number the departments have a number everything has a number it keeps building and building until on the second day she's trying to maneuver through her day like and it's not it's not told to us as if it's from her POV so it's not told to us is like and now she's having this really terrible day it's told us like she's this is how she's dealing with it and we get the draw from it how mundane and also dehumanizing it all is when on the third day she walks out after buying stockings with her own money because she tore them and she was you know it's just like all like it's really beautiful and really gives you a lot to chew on without leading you to that meal you know really been enjoying it and I mean that's the lottery does that the lottery is I think that's why the lottery is such an incredible short story and why we talk about it so much but it's really nice to see it sort of sometimes out of genre just dealing with like more mundane things or like kind of eerie things or challenging things but there only is also as challenging as weird as you make them so I've been enjoying reading that it's been really nice you know to sit and read like if I have five minutes yeah read a short it's been nice especially when things are just so it can be so busy and you don't feel like you have time to do all those things get a fresh right it's been really great well also been really great recording hard movie night with YouTube gents and I hope that everybody enjoys listening as much as we enjoy recording and the best way to let us know is by rating and reviewing on your favorite podcasting app in subscribing and if you subscribe next week you'll get to find out what we're talking about so stay tuned for more hard movie night I'm just realizing I don't know how to pronounce this proteas proteas proteas got it safer Ontario means more police and prosecutors making sure my card doesn't get stolen it means building new jails to keep criminals behind bars and it means there's no need to worry when I play at the park we're making every corner of Ontario safer to make all of Ontario safer that's how we protect Ontario for all of us learn how it Ontario dot C a slash safer Ontario paid for by the government of Ontario you're listening to the Geekscape Network