Proverbs: How to Build a Life: Training in Wisdom

We continue our series through the book of Proverbs, How to Build a Life, with a message from Proverbs 3:1-12. A house is built by wisdom, and it is established by understanding (Proverbs 24:3), and that word for house does not mean a building but a household, a family. Many of us carry gaps in our formation, conversations we wish our parents had had with us about money, marriage, relationships, parenting, decision making, and conflict, and we are left figuring out the big things of life on the go. The book of Proverbs is what we wish we had received. Solomon sits down with his son and shows him the way to live, and each of these fatherly discourses follows a pattern.The Pattern of the Fatherly Discourses:1) Address2) Call to listen3) A Command4) Reasoning5) Warning6) ConclusionGrant Clark walks through the third of the ten discourses and shows us five practical things we can do to train in wisdom.From Proverbs 3:1-12:1) Trust in the Lord2) Submit to His Word3) Be humble4) Be generous5) Learn from suffering and hardshipSubmit to His Word. Proverbs is bookended by wisdom from a father in chapter 1 and a mother in chapter 31, which suggests God's primary way of forming us is meant to be through relationships in the family. Proverbs 3:3 hyperlinks back to the Shema in Deuteronomy 6, where parents internalize God's Word by praying it into the center of their being, writing it on the tablets of their hearts. This is not behavior modification but inside out transformation, and it points ahead to Jesus, who gives us a new heart and makes us new. In a home like this, Scripture sits at the center of both the formal moments and the informal ones, sitting on the couch, driving somewhere, eating breakfast. It is slow, daily, repetitive work that takes a long time before it bears fruit.Trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-7 may be the best known passage in the book, and you could almost boil the whole of Proverbs down to a single phrase: trust God, not yourself. That sounds like heresy in a culture built on following your heart and being true to yourself. It is possible to know God, to be here, to sing the songs, and still be trusting something else with significant parts of who we are. Our ways take us somewhere and our ways turn us into someone, which means our ways determine our destiny. Trust is also relational. You would not follow a stranger who called you over from the bushes, but you would open the door at three in the morning for someone you know and love. Until we know God personally and experientially, it is very hard to put the weight of our lives on him.Be humble. Verse 7 contrasts this with the person who is wise in their own eyes, the one who always thinks they know best, who never asks for help, never prays about a decision, never asks for perspective. Proverbs calls them foolish not because they make bad decisions but because they are out of touch with reality. They lack the fear of the Lord."The Fear of the Lord is a reverential awe, that produces humble submission, to a loving God." - Skip HeitzigBe generous. Proverbs 3:9-10 turns suddenly to money, which feels out of place until we remember that Jesus taught this way too. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:24). Our wallets and possessions are deeply tied to our hearts, which means our budgets and our spending are clear indicators of what we believe and worship and live for. Our budgets are theological statements. Solomon is not letting his son's practice get disconnected from his faith.Learn from suffering and hardship. Proverbs 3:11-12 prepares us for the reality that we can trust the Lord, walk in wisdom, and do everything right, and suffering and surprises can still find us. Wisdom is not a formula that guarantees we will be exempt from pain. It is what shapes how we walk through it. Suffering is a teacher, and it will either drive us to God in greater surrender and dependence and love, or it will lead us to become bitter and hard hearted and choose a different path. Grant speaks openly here about walking through the hardest year of his life, and about the costly praise of blessing God in the darkest valley. In the midst of it, we do not serve a God who is removed from suffering or who has not suffered himself."I could never myself believe in God if it were not for the cross. In the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?" - John StottWe never have to doubt God's love and commitment to us, because he has already shown it to us at the cross. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights (Proverbs 3:12). You are not doomed to repeat what you did not receive. Even if we did not have a perfect father, we have a perfect Father in heaven who wants to teach us, guide us, make us wise, and lead us along the way.Verses referenced:Proverbs 24:3 (CSB)Proverbs 3:1-12 (CSB)Proverbs 3:1-3 (CSB)Proverbs 1:8 (CSB)Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (CSB)Proverbs 3:5-7 (CSB)Proverbs 3:9-10 (CSB)Matthew 6:24 (CSB)Proverbs 3:11-12 (CSB)Proverbs 3:12 (CSB)James 1:5Job 13:15