Psychological Visibility in Times of Division

I'm always mulling over a next Facebook post. Usually I'm trying to find something that connects the macro and the micro. What's going on in the world at large that is similar or connects to our everyday lives. I take comments, edit and then post on Substack.What we see on the macro level is war, despotism and division. In the middle, we see a populace divided politically and the use of disinformation to gain or maintain power.Thanks for reading GreenMang Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.On the micro, I see everyone being on edge. You can trace this back to any event or group of events: Sept 11th, Covid, Jan 6th etc. These are important seminal moments in the history of a young nation. More and more, we are so hyper-connected to other nations and a 24 hour news cycle, that we know what's going on in every part of the world. This is overwhelming.And yet, we don't necessarily 'see' those people across the planet. They may appear more as a subject than an object. Something from a news article: seemingly 2-dimensional, but just like us, they are real people.And just like the real people across the planet who are suffering some environmental catastrophe or dying in war, the people in our nation and in our town can seem less than real or human. Especially when we keep receiving and retweeting messages of dehumanization and blame.One of our greatest needs is psychological visibility. We want to see and be seen. We may people-watch or go to the gym or to a play. We call friends and go on dates or take our kids to birthday parties where we feel community.We feel part of something through these activities. But it's hard to feel that when others dehumanize us and when we return the favor. And this is being engineered for a reason by a specific person who has dominated our public imagination for most of the last 10 years. You all know exactly who I mean.So this political division we experience has real consequences. I have argued ad nauseum that said political movement is coarsening our culture and dividing our society. What I'm experiencing as a member of this society, is that the psychological visibility that I cherish as a sensitive person can very easily be ripped away. When this happens, it can be alarming and traumatizing. But it's not just that the person doesn't 'see' you or me anymore. It's that they attempt to tell you who you really are and it's not kind. You're the villain. Even if no actual villainy has occurred. So falling off that pedestal into the gutter happens instantaneously.So people now use this psychological visibility need as a cudgel. Our need for approval, belonging, togetherness are weaponized. And it’s rarely one-sided. I believe we all have been coarsened and shown how to dehumanize those we disagree with.I guess gas-lighting is the best term for it. But it's really just one device we use to enact psychological warfare.As above, so below. And above us on the state, national and world level, we are at war. Seeing friendly situations devolve into a micro-war at the snap of a finger is always startling and yet I keep encountering it.Boundaries and straightforward communication seem quaint. Negotiating terms, and hashing out accountability seem like dying arts. Perhaps it's just been the luck of the draw for me of late. But I'm saddened to see my theory coming true so very often and with such destructive results.It's as if everyone's amygdala is swelling and taking over. The slide towards war feels inevitable. We are all easily traumatized and tend to traumatize others as a result. I was watching an interview of David Brooks that was fascinating. He was talking about how he went from being a stuffy intellectual, stuck in his head, to being a feeling person, leading with his heart.He lamented that his heart was opening as he saw the world's closing. That's how I feel. I have been opening my heart intentionally for years. Often as a result of the befuddlement that comes from loss and pain. And I know it's just a feeling. It's not always an accurate assessment of the whole planet or the whole nation or my whole town. But it's a sad feeling that can bring about a sense of dread. I wonder if we are a lost cause.And yet, just when we need them, information and scenarios pop up that offer solace, wisdom, perspective, community and kindness. These can forever alter the course of our lives.And specific people come into our lives that can wow us, enchant us and make us feel seen and heard like never before. We can lose ourselves in the moments and anxiously await the next. And we remember who we are again. And that's all we can ask for sometimes.Thanks for reading GreenMang Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenmang.substack.com/subscribe