PTSD and Institutional Betrayal with Tracey Wilkinson

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988. You are not alone, and help is available. You can also find first responder-specific resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources   "I had to save myself because if I stayed where I was, I literally was going to die. It wouldn't have been a proverbial die. It would be a true death."
— Tracey Wilkinson   144 - PTSD and Institutional Betrayal with Tracey Wilkinson   What happens when the people we trust to save others cannot get help saving themselves? In this powerful and deeply personal episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, host Conrad Weaver sits down with Tracey Wilkinson — a retired Fort Wayne, Indiana firefighter with 23 years of service — to talk about one of the most important conversations in the first responder world: what happens when you fall apart, and the institution you gave your life to looks the other way. Tracey's story begins with a line-of-duty death at a training exercise she was responsible for as a training officer. The guilt of that incident, layered on top of two decades of accumulated trauma, eventually led to a PTSD diagnosis, severe physical symptoms, and a period of suicidal ideation so dark that she describes standing on the edge multiple times. What kept her here — and her answer is both heartbreaking and profound — was her fierce protectiveness of the people who would have had to respond to her if she hadn't been. This conversation is for the firefighter who is white-knuckling it through every shift, for the officer who doesn't know why small incidents are suddenly setting them off, and for the administrators and union leaders who want to do better but don't know where to start. Tracey brings both her lived experience and her academic training to offer one of the most grounded, compassionate, and clinically informed conversations on this podcast.   +++++   Need Help? We have a list of resources at www.firstresponderwellness.co/resources Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/ Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact [email protected] Web site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.