Pubcast 88: Striking Distance

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Welcome to the striking distance episode of the pubcast. Allison Rob and Polly joined me to break down the obscure Bruce Willis movie from 1993 set in Pittsburgh. Polly Rob and I saw a striking distance in college and we talked about it as if it was a great movie and recording it all the time. But having not seen it in decades, I had fond memories of the movie, but I don't think they were very accurate.

I thought it was probably one of Bruce Willis's most underappreciated movies, and a great example of the crime genres of the 80s and 90s, but boy was I wrong. We get a lot to say about this movie that I'm sure you've never seen. And this is a very different episode of the pubcast than previous episodes. This is probably likely the worst movie we have ever reviewed.

So put on your boat shoes and drink an iron city beer as we break down striking distance. Then body and water we fished it out. Victor's name is Cheryl Putnam. I thought he was dumped up over late last night.

But we killed her on tour for a while before he mailed it. How do you know? It used to be a homicide detective. Detective Thomas Hardy.

Tom Hardy? We're famous man. Infamous. Was once the most decorated officer on the Pittsburgh police force.

I'm not sure how many guys you'd be. I'd like to see the way it is, but. Until he broke rank. Loyalty?

Or almost. And told the truth. It was a big bird, Tom, and killed these girls. No.

I got you this job after the took issue here. River Resinue 9221. This is base. Party, please come in.

Nice to do one guy. He's got a new assignment. And shark. A new partner.

Hi. Nice to meet you. Never had a woman pocket before. Neither have I.

And a river full of dead bodies. Where's the suit of a murder suspect in any army dangerous? Does she not? Your case, do you understand me?

I might not matter here. They should have never put him in the water if they didn't want him to make waves. I'm gonna be amazed at. I'm gonna be phrased at.

I was a hardy, wasn't I? Too hard to control. We met. Dangerous.

What's the body's in a river so I find him, Nick? He wants me to find these girls. Bruce Willis. You just want that gold?

How do you behind you? Sarah Jessica Parker. Thank you. No, I should definitely thank you.

No, I just thought of way that I can thank you. I'm gonna be so careful on this life. Striking distance. All right.

Striking distance. 1993. The nonsense plot. I'm gonna say I'm gonna preface this nonsense plot by saying it's one of the worst possible ones that we've had in a long time and it's not as succinct as it should be.

So it's given this movie of ridiculous. Yeah. You've really set a standard here. Yeah.

Coming from a police family, Tom Hardy ends up fighting his uncle after the murder of his father. So they could just give the whole thing away. Tom believes the killer is another cop and goes on the record with his allegations, demoted then to River Duty, the killer taunts Tom. Ow.

I don't know what sort of... To be continued. Yeah. I love taunting is killing his ex-girlfriends.

I know. Tom is murdering everybody. I taunts you. I think that's a little more aggressive.

Yeah. So, okay. First of all, can I say one thing about the actual written summary you just wrote? Sure.

In no way does it reflect the complexity and stupidity of this movie? No. No, no, no. All right.

As long as we agree on that. This movie is an hour and 41 minutes. Yeah. It's the opposite of chock full of anything.

And I went to look and look, how short could this thing have been? A movie has to be over 40 minutes to be a feature. Okay. So I want this movie to be right on hour.

We should knock out about a half hour from the stupid movie. Yeah. It could have been like an episode of Hill Street Blues. Yeah.

Really. Exactly. That would be awesome. This would have been, yeah.

Allison, it would have elicited the same type of reaction which is, yeah, it was an all right episode. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

No. There's so many things that were not necessary. There's more questions than anything. So I don't think any of us, including Polly, who has a connection to Pittsburgh, none of us saw this movie in the theatre, right?

We all saw it on cable or HBO or something in college. I think it started with a rented movie from Blockbuster or something. I think there might have been a VHS tape at all. In college?

Yeah. I'm sure I call you'd seen it and said you guys got to see this Bruce Willis One question Should I buy this VHS All right, I'm sure probably got this for a stocking stuffer in the Christmas of 93 and then brought it back and made us watch it That's how I would hope it happened, but you know I think you got a free copy of it if you lived in Pittsburgh So at the beginning of this movie when they're like panning through his apartment or whatever and they're looking at the TV You can see stuff on sitting on the TV and sitting on the shelves and stuff I didn't detail everything I saw but it was things like a Penn State baseball cap an advertisement for Rolling Rock his dad Dad's boat was named the Three Rivers. I threw the saying like hey guys were in Pittsburgh. We love Pittsburgh.

Yeah, out of control and Yeah, that's right there. I got a wide vocabulary. So I Looked this up in Shocker the writer director a guy by the name of Rowdy Harrington. Wow, which is an awesome name.

Yeah, he was born in Pittsburgh Nice of course. He was yeah, Rowdy I mean brendan tearpoint even from the first action sequence Yeah, I mean first of all, you know having spent some time at Pittsburgh Their ability to go from like a river You know river bridge or downtown to like a Vista on the hill over like where hides field is Is amazing. They can barely float, you know float all over the city Pittsburgh But it was good to see that Pittsburgh of 1992 is not that much different than 2022 No, the roads still look like shit. Yeah getting up to Mount Washington would take you like two hours and they're up there in like 10 minutes insane and then they weren't weren't the cars like jumping at all the Two things I wrote down for Cars were in the air Jumping over those I just wrote and I underlined the strongest car ever But then like the I did also say immediately you know the quality of the movie because there are I don't know a dozen continuity problems It during the car taste where like a bumper has fallen off that suddenly it's back on it's like all over the board Yeah, the the murderers car like had seven So many Yeah, those big cars caught that much error that many times was ridiculous The quick cuts you know try to be clever with the John Mahoney Bruce Willis dialogue Bruce is like maneuvering traffic You know upwards of a hundred miles an hour and they're like barely shifting in their seats and it's just this funny banter So do it was Bruce Willis did he mail in this or did he not even like he was not even conscious in this entire movie performance?

Well, I mean Bernadise I really I almost got so angry. I couldn't research it Do you as the moderator have any insight like was he? reputed to be an offender during this period or I didn't see that but Like what was going on in his life? Yeah, I mean what was he going method for this?

Yeah, I mean he was he looked like a massive entire movie But also he like he wasn't doing his job very well Didn't he think right after he left? I'm lighting moonlighting and then he had the first you know big pop wasn't there a period of few years where he thought he was good actor Like didn't you try to do a real dramatic Vietnam that movie type thing or this is like five years after or less? After die hard, right? I think he thought he was doing like a cool thriller and it turned into a terrible yeah a year after this movie He appeared in Pulp Fiction.

Yeah Like some weird like eight-year gray area for him like it's just like in his heyday. Yeah, this movie is a nightmare Well, I mean one correction I think I would offer is that I think Pulp Fiction to a certain extent obviously it was like Travolta's big comeback, but it was seen as like a Bruce's cool again type movie So I do think he was suffering a little bit going into that at the time I don't remember thinking that Bruce was gone though like he was sort of around you know Yeah, but it was kind of but he was kind of doing the same thing over and over like he was just playing a cop in a different thing Yeah, I don't know it's it's But Polly so you have this emotional connection to it, but you watched you did watch it, right recently you Watch I watch the word. Yeah, I put it on the biggest shocking thing when I turned it on I didn't remember that he had hair ever like I was shocked that he had hair. I'm like what in the fuck?

Yeah, it should come off before this movie No, I'm not as you have hair. He has too much hair in this movie. Yeah Pullback it was way too long and He has his version of a mullet in this movie. It's like blowing in the wind.

Yeah When he gets on when he comes up out of the water and he shakes his hair out. I was like, I know I Got it in general Polly it yeah the coolness that I think we all associated with the movie and What I was revealed upon another screening was a big difference for me. Oh Yeah, I went into the memory. Yeah, my memory on it was way better than what I mean, it might be the biggest gap ever in any movie ever like I've done I was so looking forward to this I'm like, oh, we love this movie We haven't seen it so long we talked about it in college all the time and we laughed about Some of the quotes or whatever when we were 10 minutes into this thing and I'm like, oh, yeah That's a different thing.

I don't know where we drunk when we watch this like that's the only experience I think I Don't know I think that's the only way that works. There's no it's it's it's a problem I mean, I was also surprised that our two favorite quotes from college both happen like at the 17 minute mark in this movie This is very particular to I think our circle friends, but sure the who's the best cop stuff on the bridge Yeah, I would have bet my family's live lives that that occurred like right toward the end of the movie Yes, I was in the first 10 minutes. Yeah, I was an hour in yeah I like I was very the whole sequencing of the movie. I was very confused because I like you I thought that was at the end of the movie like kind of like the whole climax of it and I wonder if you watch this movie backwards Is it better?

Who's the best cop and then my flesh and blood? What's in blood? It's such a Blood on at the beginning as well because yeah, he says it on the on the bridge right? Great when he jumps off.

Yeah, yeah, so you got ruined he ruined both of those because they're supposed to be just at the end But I mean like I thought there was more of that. There was a who's the best cop at the end of course Right it was so good. They did it twice. Yeah So this movie did have a couple nice little cameos from John Mahoney and Timothy busfield that was nice He pushes out the stern line.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, otherwise a nice running gag through the movie. Yeah Size size more is a little insane you can tell he's maybe just about to get into his cocaine vendor or something He's well Just totally like maybe he Bruce Willis is spending time with size more in the in his off days. You know, they're both getting lit But one other general comment was like do you the movie was obviously confused like at some point It said screw it We're just gonna be this action movie with these like crazy chase sequences and I guess for the most part we were okay with that But you know it clearly was attempting to be something crazier Right with the thriller and like more of a real murder like mystery But like even in the crazy first chasing which was gratuitous in the sense that just you know was crazy It just went on not to mention all the problems that created with a black economy But like so when they when the two cars crash at the end of it and they you know rolled on the hill and they're like walking up the you know Approaching the crime scene and one of the guys like Jimmy's opened a trunk of the kidnapper and a body just falls out of it I mean it was so cartoonish.

I'm like really like So from there like oh, this is a whole another degree of terrible that I remembered it This is Bruce Willis having too much input and control and he was I think a bad script Yeah, like because he was he sort of champion this thing and was a problem on the set and was the source of a lot of the need for reshoots and redoing things well Your thunder, but I thought he was kind of like third choice on this like they had to rewrite the movie multiple times Yeah, but once he got in he's like I'm fucking Bruce Willis. So you're not doing this movie without me He was like he's kind of on the one as being a bit of a dick I still don't understand how he got kicked off the force and on to Rescue like that from the beginning of the movie that didn't make sense to me and I didn't I couldn't let it go the entire time Like I eventually learned what happened and I guess and it was Jimmy like beat up some Suspect or something like that and was going too far with like the police brutality and First well, it's turn. Yeah, turn it. Yeah, that's yeah But why That made it like why were they yeah, he was so mad at him like what why like I wasn't he wasn't towing the blue line Like he wasn't supporting it Terrible performance by that He was terrible and it was like he said out of bounds like even to tell those dad wasn't as upset about it as this guy was I guess where I was confused was he was he also was killing people at that same time Right So he's a bad top and he's like a serial murderer, right?

But he got more in trouble for being a bad just like a rough cop So all three I don't know where to put any of this stuff It's not a lot should be for this thing so we're just going here just mirroring the movie Yeah, you know are gonna be all gonna be like let's say if someone was arrested and they told the plot of this movie as their story like They would be convicted of a crime. It would be thrown in the courthouse. Yeah All three of the delos are dead the actors Pastor Ellie died in 2004 Jimmy Sizemore died just recently but three weeks ago two weeks ago and then Dennis arena died in 2013 So father people sons are all gone Other than this gem of a cinematic masterpiece Robert pastor relli is known for he was in Beverly Hills cop to like a random Low life and then Murphy Browns painter Elden. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I remember that douchebag Yeah, the philosophical painter that always kind of set you at ease like a creeper Yeah, he didn't have a lot of movie credits. So all right, let's cut to this chase at least let's do the rotten tomato score Oh, man, we watched it on Apple TV and Apple whatever And it sort of pops up it. It shows you a quick little it shows you the run tomatoes for paying attention So I don't know if you saw it out. Yeah, I did I'm gonna re-keys myself.

All right So guys, let's do the critics first. What do you think the critics? Maybe like 42 Yes, I'm sorry. I'm an old man.

Please remind me. It is a hundred percentage scale, right? Yeah I don't know. It's basically what percentage gave you the yeah, you said 42 poly.

Yeah, I'm not pivoting off you because I'm already was in Doesn't matter. Uh, I think I could see it being a little plus or minus, but I'm gonna go 38 Okay, the critics score for striking distance 17 Yeah, that's why I think about it. That was one of my worst guesses of all time Okay, so now what do you think the audience score was? It's gotta be hired though, right?

All right, let's eat some of our number first here. I will This one is not really a price. I was right. Yeah, no, I know I'm just trying to be fair.

I'm like 40 43 Okay, I was gonna say 47 47. I Would think it was just so popular that I mean we remember this movie well and obviously it wasn't From almost sticking with my original maybe maybe a little bit higher maybe like 48 Okay, I like the fact that Paulie says it was just so popular. Yeah, there's no evidence to that at all Ron tomatoes audience score was 35% So Rob we're in three we were talking about this or comparing the What what was that? What just happened?

I had a little Okay, thanks buddy. Oh, sorry I got a little bit of an update Make an appearance So Rob our previous the previous movie that got the most negative discussion around it that you were on that episode was the money Yes, right the money pit had an audience or 58 Really critics score of 50. This is 35 and 17 That is amazing By far the worst reviewed movie done ever Which is shocking and and I am I guess surprised that I am so close to my bottomed like this is a terrible movie Yeah, it is not good. Do you think this is the worst the worst rotten tomato movie for Bruce was oh?

I would know I'm sure there are he probably has a half dozen As well really you know he went on that unfortunate spree I think almost with the knowledge that he was suffering you know from a notice to like forget about even those I'll give him a pass on the past 10 years. I think he made like two movies a year right for a while Oh my god, I think there are ones he did in his hey day that we're still bad I mean yeah, he is surprisingly such a huge star for really on on the balance like not like great Were you about to mention the Hudson Hawk? That's a that was a huge failure. Yeah, it's a terrible movie I thought I thought that was a Another movie I think I love but I'd go back and watch it and be horrible.

Yeah Danny I love is a nightmare in that movie The box office performance for 93 we've done this before but the big repeating and you won't believe where striking distance falls Oh my god, so the top 10 are Jurassic Park with 338 million a few to have 176 the firm 158 sleep was in Seattle 126 This is like a murderous row of 90s movies. This is doubt fire 109. Yeah, Jesus In these in proposal 106 in the line of fire 102 million 99 million cliffhanger fantastic That's what comes out of nowhere. Yeah, 84 million a few good men 78 million I'm cruise had the firm and a few get in the same year as crazy 78 million is number 10 all the way down at number 64 is striking distance with 24 million Wow, it had a budget of 30 million dollars.

It didn't make back Some of the you know what I feel like the movies our reaction to the movie is verified or you know like The position that it is never on any of the rotations like it's not TNT TV s it's not on USA It's not like one of those movies you stumble on well, even even those networks are like oh, this is garbage Well, and you know when a celebrity passes away like people chills like we'll start playing their movies like this Didn't go up in the rotation for Tom Sizemore like I think they were posting on heat rightfully so So the time Tom Sizemore actually was probably the best actor in this in this movie. Yeah, I agree Well, again, I know we're kind of be a little disjointed jumping back It's worth my time that scene where Sizemore comes to the houseboat where Tom Hardy almost blows his head off And they have like the heart to heart cuz he's back in town. Yeah was I Think about as useless as a scene that you know I mean I guess to show that they would double cross one another at the end I mean, I don't I don't even know it was it was the red herring of the movie to try to get you to think so the brother is back And these murders are certainly happening. So you think oh, it's he's got to be the one.

Yeah No So the movies that finished around the striking distance Level in the series box office Justin ahead of it was unforgiven Right behind it Benny and June Cities this is the best of the worst of movies all in Benny and June the 65 coming in at number 69 Rudy Me and I are in that movie kind of eighty number eighty three a Bronx Dale And then number one on one with judgment night No, you know, I don't even I might have to use my veto and say you cannot ruin my memory You can't make me rewatch it and ruin it. Yeah, I don't believe that it's great. No, it needs to say the past Dennis Larry as a villain. Yeah And then 104 true romance whoa only made 12 million and 93 And then so I'm very an ex murder 105 place 150 11.5 million yeah All right, let's go to trivia section.

There is not a lot here. There's not a lot I've written nothing So I will get to be surprised and we have everything and we can move on who cares But hey one quick question. Yeah, I don't want to interrupt in terms of casting is that a little bit later No, I'm not the recasting but trivia on cast that will be at after the tail and of trivia. All right.

Thank you very much. Yes, sir Dennis Marina played Robert Pastor Ellie's father in this movie and they were only ten years apart from age Dennis Rina looked 65 for 17 he was like like a champion something Yeah Already talked about the death of all three the pillows On Amazon host our Robert Pastor Ellie accidentally blurted out the big plot twist during an appearance on late night with David Letterman long Before the film was released. Oh my god. I gave away the landing.

That's why it went so bad. Yeah, sure. That's what we can Yeah, I'm not going now. Otherwise, what a huge smash All right casting the real casting after doing that like I'm not really wanted to hire him.

Yeah, sure I Only saw two potential casting decisions on this. I didn't do a ton of research because who really cares It was for Tom Hardy and it was Ed Harris and with Robert De Niro, right and they both passed or whatever and then it went to Bruce Willis Yeah, I can see how Harris doing this movie. This is a good Harris Harris role I think it's equally bad. He does it though.

He's just a train wreck. Yeah, it's not good It's really a ladies man. I mean they kind of were oh Like he had all these you know girlfriends or whatever speaking of that when we were watching it when Bruce Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker had that love scene Okay, we're like wait, they have zero chemistry throughout this movie There's no reason to think that they even like each other at all. There's any sort of even like They they're on different planets and then Bruce really shows up at the end.

I'm party really shows up I should say and you know stands up with the family Then touching scene at the end with the with the other family So we before before we like rotator though, so yeah, Ed Harris I think could have done a dinner always seems like you know Must have been magically better a little too much. But was it was it Sarah Jessica Parker's first Big movie right had to be like with loose Yeah, and fast times yes Like LA story is that what it was called with Steve Martin. I think that was before this But not much Yeah, unfortunately to say for her as well My years was my sexual healing like it was just like this Her going in to his apartment like this is not good. It's such a bad I'm gonna call it 80s stroke that bad this even though this movie was made in the 90s it was Had 70s and 80s flavors this movie felt like it would be on in the afternoon on a Saturday in the 80s Yeah, it's not a real movie How many years later did sex in the city go on?

Well, this is 93 Second the city was what end of the 90s 99 2001 with that so much like well a good eight years Yeah, yeah, there's all kinds of problems with this whole yeah Nurse like Supposedly worked in that hospital for a long time and then get locked herself out of the hot like it that whole scene of the nurse Getting believe it. Yeah, she must leave that way at that time and I six nights a week, right? And she was scared to me out that time. I mean I know well But she was surprised at where she walked out of the hospital and then like I mean like she's never been there before right?

It was like the basement of the hospital like where was she coming from? Hospital work over the cameras I Mean there just I stopped taking notes, but I took a lot right in the beginning John the honies are I did John honies reaction to the all points bulletin that there's a murder on the loose and how upset he was it was gonna interrupt Their policeman ball. Yeah, I was awesome. I'm like really that's like you're an executive officer in this organization like don't you want to catch workers?

You're like, oh great. I Pay for this caring. Goddamn it. Yeah, really?

Yeah, that later on when they had one However many years later like there's that was great a lot of cops there. What's happening in the rest of the city like there were a lot of people Yeah, yes, and then there are it's like the purge happening in Pittsburgh Like can there possibly be this many shenanigans and like emergencies happening on the three rivers at all times? Yes, like people are dumping bodies and rubs and there's a Speedboat that needs a speedboat Hosted situation going on What I forgot about the rug oh, yeah On large the rug and they just killed the guy that was driving the car Like yeah, yeah Blue up his car. No one was really like oh, I know Like that was like the worst that happened It's back upside the head should have been issued a citation for illegal dumping and yeah, it's attacked by a flitter gun from the water It had a nice like art to it yeah, oh my god, raise around Yeah Another Caprice do that was driving All right, anything else nasty you want to tackle before we get into the recast?

No, but I mean the fact that Farina who has a top five Chicago accent is cast as the Pittsburgh guys funny to me Yeah, there is that was the least of that We're not yeah, it's not respected. It's all fine, right? Yeah Not one single Pittsburgh accent in this Pittsburgh movie no zero no not a single one no All right, yeah, it's a recasting debate. We call it recast debate Better close the door.

It's time to be cast or bait This is gonna get a little weird. I think yeah, there's only one That I've picked of all of them that I think is good, but everything else is I don't know that any of mine are good But I'm not a mine are good. I'm gonna full list to be honest. Yeah, I kind of gave up halfway through to be honest Right I did mine in groups.

So I have a good one so we got Basically Tom Hardy Joe Chrisman These names Nick the tell-out with the pillow Danny to tell oh and Jimmy to tell oh, okay five. That's it Straight I'd like three separate groups of five. I actually wrote the actors names down first because I could not remember other than Jenny That's the only god bless Allison. We did the same time Bruce Willis That's for me.

Yeah, my list is my own eat size more So did anyone group theirs like I did or not because I'll just run my groups like easier No, no, no, you know what no I didn't I sort of group mine But I don't know that I would go through your groups. No, okay, all right because a couple of might have to be together for sure It doesn't matter. Okay, I do have the one All cast flip so if you want to do that or not first Nash you want to start with your all cast flip that was like that idea It's it's maybe 80 80 percent there, but I think you're missing the female lead but um Swap in any female actress this part is written. Yeah, and then of course like it doesn't really matter But you just flip the actors around from midnight run and you have this entire movie De Niro can play hardy.

Yeah, forina. Yeah forina work with you know, you got Pantelone who or whatever his name is who can be you know, you know people midnight run covers Oh, you know, groan can be the dad. I mean it can be every day they can cover it all It's a slot cast Is not gonna play the Dennis Reina part or he bill Dennis forina should be Tom Hart Oh my god, you can do it all the various bounty hunters who played various stupid roles in this stupid movie you wouldn't need a lot of work Let's be honest. No, I think I think you're mostly there but there's a lot of ins and outs of this one.

It didn't quite get Together I'm not gonna do my my groups, but I'll do Bruce Willis aka Tom Hardy. Okay, first of all, I think we should just cast Tom Hardy I think you would actually work you can put that role for sure. You have like a weird voice and a bad haircut But I would have put him I would have put him in for I'd look at the name Danny Danny. Yeah Number three number two I got my old teller doing a little Tom Hardy hello Bruce Willis Tom Hardy Bruce Willis is in his 30s in this movie by the way, he's like 38 My number one would be Jake Johnall Oh, yeah, that's great, but that's what I'm doing with I think I prefer Tom Hardy's Tom Hardy though I'll give us a Tom Hardy So at one point I was like oh can I kind of do like a gender swap with all this and then I realized there's not gonna be a female serial killer out there where this is gonna work and so I've got Scott Eastwood Always and it's funny because these are all kids with famous actors.

I've got O'Shea Jackson Jr And yes and John D Washington John David Washington. Yeah, he's always good. Yeah Paulie give us your Tom Hardy so I went the different direction with Tom Hardy I thought he needed to be like a bigger guy so I did John Cena Stone And then I was pairing him up. Are we just we stay with one guy?

Just doing Tom Hardy. Yeah, that's very funny All right, I'll give us a round of it though. Rob did his guess what? Well, I did some others too Chris Chris or Liam Hemsworth I think either one could do it but In a special nod and connection back to Bruce Willis Jai Courtney or how he says name?

Could be Tom Hardy his son from like a good day to die hard Yeah It's his kid in the movie, you know it is. He's like a tough guy Really our I mean a superhero want to be type in one of the Terminator movies from a couple years ago. Yeah, okay I'll give us your Sarah Jessica Parker a.k.a. Joe Chris Minh.

I really got only two. I've got Florence Q and I've got Tessa Thompson That's Tom to be a recurring But she matches up with like Johnny Washington Yeah Okay, I've got Ailey Steinfeld could maybe do it Emma Mackie play like a perfect rookie cop. Yeah Emma Mackie the look alike for What's her name? Oh, Harley Quinn actress Margot Robbie Margot Robbie look alike.

Oh, right Emma Mackie. Yeah, and then I got and I'd armist is my number one No, you just basically need a female chair a female human being to play this character Uh Rob do yours. Uh, I you know, I think you'd really make this character a really strong woman Okay, I thought I just got a look at that I thought like you know Scar Joe of course and Gal Gadot could do that, but I thought they're like, oh, so hang on And a Wonder Woman outfit. Yes.

Yes She's gonna last over 20 something rookie cop and we got like 45. Yeah, no I thought she was 27 when filmed and then I don't know a gal is but she's not 40 is she Yeah, come on But the person I actually think that would be the best is Kristen Stewart I like that Robbie I think wrong is the right answer That is wrong. She's got too much attitude the only woman that could play this role would be Zen Day. Come on.

Oh my god This is the first time I don't think any of us nailed it like there's some options here and there but I call my people Okay, Rob give me your nip to Tilo then it's forina Uh I did not do that one because First of all, there is no replacing forina your recasting forina. I got it. Yeah, I was swapping him in for him All right, uh, poly give me yours The cop that I think is always a cop Actorwise is dead as friends from There is is he alive? I don't know I think so You know where we got these people today like they have to be able to actually do the part they can't be 87 years old No, I went back in with the 78 for everybody.

I pushed it a little bit on a lady. So now let's do it He's from maywood. It was like My So my forina my forina is uh, uh, number three. I've he has been mentioned on this episode already, but not in this section Dennis larry.

Oh That's actually pretty good. He's in there for the arena. Yeah, uh, brian kranson. Oh as an equalo And this one works with The two songs that I have so he isn't specific to them.

Uh, Andy Garcia as well. So he'll work with these two songs that I have Got it. All right. Yeah, that was more thought than I uh, what a committee card of court.

I dare you I've got uh, Jason statham All right. Yeah, I wanted to have a red accent Fold up your little post it. Well, you know what? We need a full sampling of accents in this movie.

We don't have any good for him. I don't matter Um or I've got densel washington. Oh No, you have densel playing I think Yes, but not playing the sun. No Nearly 70.

Yeah, yeah, if we were to factor in ages, I think we're all over the place, but whatever it doesn't really matter how They are parts this movie especially does not matter. I think I'm taking mine back because I want a Pittsburgh connection. So I'm going Michael Keaton Ah, Karina. I think that's what I can do that.

That's my father who else is from Pittsburgh, uh, Dennis Miller Put him in color Just anybody with a Pittsburgh connection. All right, uh, so let's do the two kids Danny the tillow and Jimmy the tillow Uh Nash give us your the tillow kids Uh, I didn't do Danny size more is uh size more. Yeah, I was Danny. Oh, no, I did Danny didn't do uh, Jimmy Um, I had a lot of folks.

I thought I could pull it off Daniel Radcliffe as kind of like a outsider if you got a little crazy, but I thought zak fron and adam driver could kind of pull out that Strong out You know drunk guy Zak f can't play anybody. I think zak fron though wouldn't it I think he'd be like a revelation as a like a strong out drunk guy Um, do you remember the most famous uh use of zak fron in the recasting on this podcast? Oh, here we go I do remember being a big deal. It was in oh, hold on.

I It's gonna burst through a door Joel said he wanted zak zak fron to play the sammy davis junior car So the last time Joel was on the podcast yes When he said that's right. Oh my god. The room melted down Is the most of the christing i've ever heard of this Great Yeah control If zak fron can do that he can do anything. He can do anything That's the best Cinderella I'm fair.

What's the difference? Oh my gosh. All right. Once you said zak fron, I stopped listening rob I can't hear the laugh at him.

So I I concluded with joe kiri Oh from zak fron, yeah, I think he should be yeah, I think he should be yeah, yeah um I'm gone. I'll do your uh tom size more Um not too far off of your joe kiri rob. I've got nik robinson He was in love sign in. Oh, but he's been in like a bunch of other things and he can play good greasball Um character and um slightly different.

Um, i've got ryan tyree henry No, I like him anything. I'm fine with that. Yeah, he's good Uh, holly. Do you have a danny tom size more?

I have I kind of went the brother Roots. Yeah, so I've got uh the franco brothers james Oh, I have that I have the brothers I kind of went the brother around on that so I thought they would be I don't know who would play who but uh Yeah, so I had day franco is danny and I had james franco is jimmy Yeah, uh speaking of that that was my third place my second place Para brothers. I had kasey and vin aflak Oh my god, kasey plain size more. Yeah part and then my number one was uh jake jonson and austere isak Uh, they kind of look like each other and they would be the sons of andi Garcia interesting all right so You feel like devoted some time.

Oh this this all came quick to me. I I casted this in about five minutes. Yeah, okay. Yeah, they may not work I did it quickly Um, anybody else from missing any other wild cards or experts jimmy.

Oh al bahoney Well, let's have al do jimmy then you can do mony. Um, so I've got also the son of a famous person. I've got kori hockens Who's that? He is uh Um Yes No, he was he's one of the um Dr.

Dreg Dr. Dreson. Oh, he is yeah Was he in that movie? Yeah else it sounded like he was searching for dr.

Dres first name. Yeah, like i was talking about dr. Dreg you know, you know You know, uh, well, I was like starting to like also in like second guess who i'm picking up Um, but the person who I want to play this part and it goes with like, um, like the nick robinson as the brother Jason statham is the dad. Um, no is hall dano All dano son of Jason statham.

Yes. Okay. Oh, yeah But how are you doing? I know But I like him being kind of a psycho.

Yeah, he's he's yeah, he is a psycho. Yeah Uh, all right. Nash drada mony I thought there are a few um Ethan hock could have done it is not quite old enough and hock. I think so.

Who is his son? Who who who played tommy or uh tom hardy if well i had the younger i the way young jike corny's not that young but are j me but uh Don't get cut off in the ages because my favorite is nick offerman as uh the john mony character I like that. Well as he says, uh, for you know, only 10 years older than the guy that he's playing his body exactly. Yeah That's mine.

Oh my god Anybody recast uh, uh, uh timothy busfield No Sound ambitious Okay, we go from the office the guy from the office who's the nerdy guy from the office from uh, um, 30 rec Yeah, kind of yeah Yeah, yeah, uh Memorable scenes there are none uh, quotable lines memorable scene was I have those cars popping up and down the Like a little the bunny rabbit cars. Yeah, man. Those things hopping down the freeway or the highway I wrote down airborne 50% of the time So it's who's the best cop right is the quote Who's the best cop now? Always use who's the best cop now You know always you and then watch your blood What's in blood?

Let's in blood My fire my flesh and blood my flesh and blood No one's gonna not want to RC car at the start of the film navigating the work mercy little red writing heard this song. I forgot that Oh, yeah, go ahead and hit play and that cassette Um and then this I can't believe we didn't Pick up on this 30 years ago because this quote is ludicrous Uh, this is Nick. This is the dad Nick talking to Tom Hardy There's an old Italian saying never scald your tongue on another man's soup. Wow And then Tom Hardy goes yeah, there's an old Irish saying don't listen to old Italian sayings ridiculous Nailed it.

Yeah, that's when that came on both of us like cringed in our seats like Oh, just turn the TV off. Yeah, try and find tighter writer. Tighter writing. I wait.

I wait That's good. That's good shit. Yeah, I had a big problem with Snapping at the very end of the movie when Jimmy got electrocuted by the uh the stuff on gunner with the whole in the mouth in the mouth In the mouth, which is kind of green. Yeah, and they're both in the water and he just sinks to like the bottom of the river like yeah Who sinks when they're yeah, I don't get that As you're sure about the property of electricity in the water with that yeah Man are we gonna quit with the science of this movie Out of the moments it took me out of the moment Yeah, but we've got questionable geography.

We have ridiculous accents. We have uh strange like familial relationships and yeah, no, no The science is the least of the problems. All right any other No scenes or lines in this whole tragedy. No, no.

All right. I have a question that I asked for somebody's movies I'm gonna ask you because there is only one answer What would you want to see in this equal? Nothing I don't want to think they they tied up all the All the thing you to do with this one. Just oh we're it's a whole city You everything in there that they could yeah, I want to learn about Joe's daughter.

What's she doing? Does she grow up to be a river rat or whatever they call it? She's gonna be a prosecutor educated Okay The how much are they worth game? And now let's play the how much are they worth game?

No, boy. We go So we have the only five people that are worth a damn this week. And it is Robert Pessirelli. I refuse to even spend time thinking about Robert Pessirelli.

I'm sorry. I do. They're Jessica Parker and Bruce Willis. Yeah, fair enough.

I catch up. I told you that he was Elden on Murphy Brown. So four. Five.

John McHoleen. John McHoleen. He's not in there. No.

Robert's incarcerated, Lloyd. I'm sorry, it's hard. Marina. Oh, for right now.

We've done for right now before. We've done Bruce Wells before. We've done for right now. We've done for three dead people.

Yeah. Oh, well, I have the castes, Dad. If we throw him a honey, he's dead as well. I think.

I think he had Chris who played men still alive. We could do her. Men. Men.

She was one of the. She was the. Was that her name? I think her name was men.

I don't know if you can kill. Robert Pessirelli. You know him as Elden, of course. He was in Murphy Brown.

Dances with the wolves. Yeah. He plays that. You have to be covered by a guy.

That's what I was thinking over for. Wasn't he like Blair's cool motorcycle boyfriend on backs of life? Whoa. You take the good.

You take that. Or maybe Joe's brother. Murphy Brown. Scotch and milk.

That was a movie apparently. Modern vampires. I'm going to do this guy. He played.

He was in the blockbuster Michael, but John Chabolta, Angel movie. Yeah. And he was really. Eraser, I think.

Was that a. That's what's making a movie? Eraser? Yes.

Yes. He played Johnny C. All right. Let's move on.

Yeah, he cares really. OK. I've got a number. Let's see.

Yeah. Rob, what's your number? 14. Whoa.

Holy. 14 million. It's a murder for John. He wasn't a murder for John, money, man.

For $14. What's your number? I'm going like a million and a half. I had three.

I'm two. OK. It's Murphy Brown money. And a store.

Oh, and then that's awesome. He's right in there. Not even there. I am right.

I wouldn't tell for a guy when. He was on a lot of cops. Let me just. Bernie Miller, Kenyon Lacey.

All right. I'm just going to Google it. Let's see what happens. Harkassle McCormick, Knight Rider.

Just guy. Who's the best cop? He's got the greatest line of residuals ever. OK.

I have a number and. Oh. I have two different numbers. They're so wildly different.

You know the island? The 18. Go with the island? Yeah, that's the one I want.

That's the one I want. I'm nice. I'm looking at her. I'm not that cops.

That cop should pay sweet cash. I can't OK. I cannot find it. A number of them.

It's I see between three and five million. I see between one and 12 million. I said, yeah. I see 700,000.

I see eight million. 700,000. The website can peg you down to 700,000. Let's do John Money.

John Money's network. I'm incarcerated. I'm so tough on it. He's got all that.

Frazier money. You know. Well, he's got to be. I got a number.

He's got to be 14 million if Dattila was. Oh, so Rob sticks at 14. Molly. I'm more at like 30.

Yeah, I've got 10. I've got 20. OK. John Money.

OK. English born American actor with a net worth of 16 million. So Rob gets it. Thank you very much.

OK, now let's get to the real people. Dennis Farina. You know, he's an everything. He's always a cop.

He's in snatch. So I mean, he's got to be over 100. I mean, right? That and a minute run.

Get ready. I feel like Dennis Farina said yes to a lot of like decent, but not good deals. Yeah, I feel like John Money's been more than a arena. He had the law and order or whatever that show was.

Oh, damn. That's right. All right, I'll go in number. Polly, give us your number.

If Money was 16, you know where he said it was, I'm going 16. No. I'll go in number. I'll put your number.

I'm going to go in number 10. I had it. I literally I sort of got to have nine. Nine.

So we have eight, nine, 10, and 16. OK, Dennis Farina. Well, his net worth is $4 million. That goes to me way off, dude.

This gets tricky. Tom Sizemore. Oh, God. I know how much did he squander?

How much was left when he died? He worked a lot, but he lived hard. He lived hard. Comerchai, but one of his own.

I got it. He didn't do a lot of great stuff recently, that's for sure. His money is from the 90s. OK, I think I have a number.

I'll give us your number. 10. 10. Polly.

Three. Rob. Oh, God, dude. Don't change this.

I know seven is the one I committed to. I had 18. I wanted to go six. I might have.

Oh, Dennis Farina. Tom Sizemore had a net worth at the time of his death of $500,000. Nice. I have a chuckman right there.

Oh, good. Yeah, OK. Yeah. He has no lot of that money on.

Wow, that is very concerning. That is the definition of he can't take it with you. Yeah, well, fuck it, right? No, let's see, Carrot.

OK, Sarah Jessica Parker, AKA Joe Christminton. So she might be the richest one, I'll produce, yes. Oh, no. No, it's going to be a battle of Titans.

Is it just her money or is it the? Roderick is even baldness. I'm assuming it's just hers. I don't know how you know.

How do they break it? We're just guessing what they say. We don't know what the formula is. How can we do it?

Section of the city might have been a bigger PR phenomenon than like actual money maker. But those stupid movies, I'm sure they cleaned up on. And she has worked since like the 80s. Yeah.

Mars attacks. I mean, fast times originally on high. I really hope it's 500,000. I mean, I think she's got to be worth $200 million.

All right, well, there's Robbie's number. That's probably a little high. Damn it. Who's been the biggest so far?

Ever Lucas. Yeah, I think it was your work. We had one or two people that were in the billions. And Lucas was the big top one.

She's got to be, I would like to turn my estimate down. But I know I meant. We're not making you stick on $200. What's your real number?

I think it's a little high. But I think it's like $1,000. All right, Al? I'm second with, I'm going to $2,500.

I think she is. I'm going to $2,000. I had, well, probably we have. She lives in New York.

I know it's expensive there. Yeah, fucking. Breaking down your logic. So you make the number.

Do you think her net worth is driven by the cost of coffee or? Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

How about a little, I'm doing 160. I think that's high. I said 75. OK.

Sarah. Ooh. This is getting a ripples and feathers. Sarah just a parker has a net worth of $200 million.

Ah. What? What? What did you change your number to?

I went from $200 to $110. You had it nailed. Did I make it then? No, Allison had $225.

Oh, I should have gone with my gut. Huge. One. So each of us have one.

So the winner of this one wins the game. This is Bruce. It's like the hardest one. There are so many variables.

Unless you think we know. Was he in the Hard Rock Cafe? No. Planet Hollywood.

That's it. I don't even think artificial intelligence couldn't track his net worth based on his movies and divorces and whatever else. No. Ask chat, GPT.

Yeah, really. It's one of the hardest questions in the universe. Is it $1 billion? Or is it $8 billion?

Let's just look at some of his recent movies. Just if you say anything in the last three years, no one's going to know what it is. Just in the first, just on the screen, not even scrolling down, we have things like detective night independence, detective night redemption, Paradise City, detective night rogue, wire room, wrong place, white elephant, vendetta, corrective measures, fortress, snipers eye. I have not heard of one of these movies.

A day to die, gasoline alley. I'm still in 2022. Are you serious? Yeah.

Now we got a 2021 American siege, fortress, deadlock, and the list goes on and on and on. That's why they pulled him out and when anyone talked to him, he was just being taken advantage of and being thrown in all these movies. He has no idea what he is. Die Harder's back.

I mean, that sounds terrible. That's not hard as bad. I mean, someone I'm assuming is going to have an aligned interest in getting a good salary because it would mean a good commission for them. So they're not just letting this guy do these movies for 100 grand, are they?

They're like, yeah. Like he's doing a scene here or there. He's not really going to do movies. Okay.

I don't even know what to do with this guy. Oh, my God. I mean, if Sarah just partners $200 million, I got a number. I got it.

I got a number too. I never saw it, but right now I do feel stupid about it. Holly, what's your number? I really want to get this one right, but I have a feeling I'm way off.

God, this is hard one. I'm going to 190. I think that's low. Rob, 300 million.

Damn it. That's exactly what I put 300 million. I got 450. 450.

Oh my God. 450. That's awesome. What's his biggest movie, grosser of all time?

More of health. Question? Armageddon. No.

Yeah. I'm getting one of the die yards. North. Blue rice kingdom.

Unbreakable. Unbreakable is a good one. Sixth sense. Bruce Willis has a net worth of 250 million.

Which means Rob and I tie. Yes. Yes. So we need an extra winner here.

An extra. Timothy busfield. Yes, I'll. Timothy busfield it is.

Oh, West Wing. Of course. Oh, yeah. He was in like a 30 something, right?

And then a big director. I think in producer, I think. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what?

He's not a good deckhand. Hey, get that stern line. Get all that point extra money for every bunch of nerds. $14 million.

It is. Is that your number? Yeah. Yes.

I know what to do. I know what to do. That was too quick, Rob. I wasn't ready.