Queer, Alert, and Exhausted: Unpacking Hypervigilance in LGBTQ+ Lives with Terra Friedman, AMFT (she/her)

In this episode of My Therapist is Out!, Renae Johnson (they/them) and Terra Friedman (she/her) dive into the lived experience of hypervigilance—a survival response many queer folks know all too well. From growing up in environments where it wasn’t safe to be fully ourselves to navigating today’s political climate, hypervigilance can become second nature. What happens when that constant alertness starts impacting our relationships, our mental health, and our sense of safety—even when we’re not in danger?Renae and Terra explore: ⚡ How hypervigilance develops (spoiler: it's not your fault) 💔 The impact it has on intimacy, friendships, and communication 🧠 How projection and unprocessed fear show up in our interactions 🌱 Grounding techniques and coping tools that actually help 🏳️‍🌈 The power of queer community in creating safer spaces for our nervous systemsThis is a must-listen for anyone who feels like they're always “on,” always scanning, always holding their breath. Come exhale with us. 💨TakeawaysHypervigilance is a heightened state of awareness often linked to trauma.It can negatively impact relationships and communication.Chronic hypervigilance can lead to exhaustion and burnout.Hypervigilance often starts in childhood, influenced by family dynamics.Queer individuals may experience hypervigilance due to societal pressures.Physical symptoms of hypervigilance include tension and overstimulation.Dissociative states can occur as a response to chronic hypervigilance.Creating safe spaces is essential for reducing hypervigilance.Understanding hypervigilance can help individuals navigate their experiences more effectively. Grounding techniques can help manage hypervigilance.Pets provide unconditional support and comfort.Hypervigilance can lead to isolation if not managed.Acknowledging your hypervigilant voice can help calm it down.Projection can distort perceptions of loved ones as threats.Communication is essential; mind reading is unrealistic.Creating a plan for overwhelming situations is crucial.Breathing exercises are fundamental for grounding.Curiosity can help shift hypervigilant thought patterns.Queer Moment of Joy Guests : Arianna W @soulinsessionKen B @redpearlprinceGuest Bio : Terra Friedman AFMT (she/her) is an Associate Therapist with Open Space Therapy Collective. Terra specializes in working with high achieving womxn who experience anxiety. Terra also works with couples and partners who are currently in or exploring non-monogamous relationships.Host Bio: Renae Johnson, LPCC, ATR-BC (they/them) is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Board-Certified Art Therapist, and the Founder of Open Space Therapy Collective, a group practice offering affirming, justice-driven mental health care for the LGBTQ+ community. With clinical expertise in complex trauma, identity development, and creative expression, Renae blends therapeutic depth with a commitment to equity and inclusion.In addition to their clinical work, Renae produces community wellness events like Queerly Connected and co-leads the LA Queer Events Coalition, creating spaces where queer and trans people can gather, heal, and celebrate. As a speaker, consultant, and activist, Renae is passionate about building systems of care that honor the full humanity of queer and trans individuals—and equipping providers with the tools to do the same.To find more from us visit:Website: https://www.openspacetherapycollective.comInstagram: @openspacetherapycollective TikTok: @openspacetherapy Spotify: @MyTherapistisOut Apple Podcasts: @mytherapistisoutYouTube: @openspacetherapycollectiveContent transparency: n/aKeywords: hypervigilance, LGBT community, trauma, mental health, relationships, coping strategies, queer spaces, childhood experiences, safety, burnout, hypervigilance, mental health, relationships, grounding techniques, coping strategies, projection, emotional safety, self-care, therapy, community support