Raccoons, Resurrection Mix‑Ups & Whatever This Lancaster Situation Is

Idiot of the Week: “Y’all… We Are Not Okay.”  Baby, gather close, because this week the universe said, “Frances, Angela… hold my drink.” And we did. And now we regret it.We kick things off at the Grand Geneva Resort, where a raccoon literally fell through the ceiling and some guest decided they were the chosen one to wrangle woodland wildlife with their bare hands. Because nothing says “vacation” like volunteering as tribute in a live‑action remake of Nope.Then we slide over to StubHub, which apparently took a heavy metal band and a Christian spiritual about the birth of Jesus, threw them both in a blender, and hit “mystery smoothie.” They apologized… ish. We’re still trying to figure out how you confuse “Silent Night” with “Scream Until Your Eyeballs Bleed,” but okay.Next up, a 38‑year‑old man who said, “I may be drunk, but I can still cosplay as law enforcement.” Spoiler: he could not. Charges were pressed, dignity was not.And because the week wasn’t unhinged enough, a hospital told a woman’s family she had “checked out,” when in fact she had passed away. We don’t know who needs to hear this, but death is not a Marriott rewards program.Finally, we arrive at Lancaster County, where a man was found with over 100 dead bodies. One hundred. We don’t even have jokes here. We’re just blinking. Hard.Join us as we process, roast, uplift, and pray for humanity—because clearly, we’re all on the struggle bus, and this week it’s missing several wheels.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy