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I was when I was on Sirius, I went on Reddit once. And it was so bad that I did a win on again. Yeah, what were you wanting? That's like, I was telling you something.
That's a cleaner, not there. It's more on Reddit than simply people talking. That's my favorite phenomenon, if you have a podcast, that's for subreddit for that podcast. It's just people hating.
Talk about how it used to be better. But I do. You're like, wow, what can't Jason do? No, this is great.
This is the same way Alan Dershowitz starts his podcast. Alan Dershowitz. Yes, that he was OJ's lawyer and Epstein's lawyer and Donald Trump's lawyer. Right.
There's one of OJ's lawyers. One of OJ's lawyers. The other one died, right? I think a couple of them have this point.
Do you think God killed them? I'd like to think so. I'd just like to think so Johnny, Johnny Cochrane is dead. Johnny Cochrane's got it.
One of the great porn names that was just left on the table. Nobody. Go out and think of everything. Johnny Cochrane.
He's like, this time the glove does fit. Ooh, wow. Yeah, Robert Kardashian. There you go.
Is no longer with him. I'm not sure what happened to that family. I heard that she murdered him. And OJ, did you know that?
Who's that dumb? Wait, sorry, nice lady. It's Chloe Kim. Ding dong, ding dong.
It's like saying the prayers. What's the, who's the mom? Sneasy. Oh, Prince.
Prince. Yeah, Prince Jenner. Is it? Is that dad or was it dad?
No, that was Prince. Right. Or was the mom. Or was it a manly name, Bruce, right?
It's always, it's always, think about it. Bruce has always been to me like Bruce. Very gay too. Like Bruce could be gay.
Fine line. Fine line. But yeah, it's the default name we give. And he's a racist woman.
As Americans. I have a phobic woman. Whatever he is. He's a, he's a true American dream.
He's a dickhead. He's she or he, I don't know what that is. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, well, I guess I'm not gay anymore, so I gotta watch it. You don't have the cloak.
I don't, I don't, because I say, well, I've sucked it. So I can say what I want, but I will not suck it ever again. So funny. So so you can be transpobic again.
All right. Well, I would punch her. Is that. Oh, yeah.
That's fair. I don't say punch him. Athlete to athlete. Thank you.
Right. Yeah. He, I would fight him her. I got to fight him.
Yeah. But now he's a her reputation. Why wouldn't do it? Because he's on it.
She's on estrogen. I assume so. Yeah. Well, she needs to inject more.
But you know what? She does look good for AD. Yeah, she and Bernie Sanders look great for. Okay.
That makes me realize how hot she is. Exactly. Because Bernie Sanders is hideous. Exactly.
You know who's not hideous is? Well, he is hideous. But his body and obviously this is not coming from a gay way at all. But I have case jacked.
I started doing a video the other day which was as flaming as a homo can be where he had some other I could say that. You know what? Okay. Okay.
I'm not hooking up with you. But if you want to fight me, I'll fight you. Bam. So let's go.
That's your black. That's different. And it's on the patreon. The he did a chin up duet with another a younger more physically like a young like a young like a 25 year old very jacked man.
Some sort of athlete of some he's got to have clout if he's hanging out with RFK. But he did a pull up where he went above the bar. He's a mega pull up guy. Yeah.
And then RFK did a under pull up thing. And they both did like a brosh handshake. Jake, is it possible to pull up the RFK chin up bro down where and and like an Apollo Creed. Carl Weathers and little bit was way gay.
He did the guy did a chin up where he went up. You know what they do a thing where they go above it? Michael their whole body goes above it. No, I don't.
I mean, it's like a mega chin up. Yeah. And then RFK did like a weird like you know what goes in the playground do the little we thing and they put their legs through it and spin around and land back on their feet and then they shook hands after it. And it was I don't know.
It was gay. Pull up the pull up clip. It's not it's not just coming out because it's a recent thing where it was like RFK and you know some other watching him just a bro. Watching him be a person is very interesting.
It's a crazy thing that guy when he catches animals you see that. Yeah, because people try to say that he like he like has sex with whales or whatever. But you know he just he just like found a dead one and put it on his roof or something and then they said yeah here it is. Yeah, this guy see that guy does a mega chin up and then RFK does like a school girl we underneath him.
But but I mean our case head is very Bernie Sanders. Yeah, but his body is he's he's fit. I'll never look. Yeah, there's no doubt about that.
He's jacked. Yeah, they're doing like a fit dude. That's a great freeze frame. I was like, I was like, it's not way.
It's not one frame that doesn't make him look gay. Where's that guy's fist go? Hey, let's sure sure we could have gay sex right now. So let's let's take our time here.
Yeah. What's the gay sex we could ever have? Yeah, this you know what it is. This is like something you make to shock a homophobic culture.
Yeah, we'll do this to scare the Taliban. They're not easily shocked. Have you heard of octopus? Yeah, no way.
We are that a fliche to heart. Yeah, Thomas went when you the people's fist. There's a lot of people's visit and a therapist. But it's good.
Very healthy guy. What is he going to be? He's the chief of department of health. Whoa.
Okay, so he's Dr. Fauci's boss. Oh, Dr. Fauci's gone.
Yeah, they're going to hang him. He's gone. They're going to kill him in the back. Yeah, right.
They're going to like do it in like a like in a crap like a studio audience. It's going to have like the hanging of Dr. Fauci sponsored by Blue Chew. Yeah.
Bro, that'd be pretty cool. Bro, too. Well, because they're like their advertiser friendly. They're sponsoring.
They're great. I love Blue Chew. I make jokes about it in my stand-up, but I also I'm like not joking. Like sometimes I'll just chew one.
I'm like, maybe I'll use it. Maybe I won't. Wow, with great power. One of the biggest.
No responsibility whatsoever. What's the angle on just chilling one with mixed emotions about whether or not you're going to get a boner? Because if I do want one, I'm ready. It's like I'm trained to kill Michael.
Right. Yeah. But am I going to kill anybody? That depends on who comes knocking on the door.
It's really substantial. Destiny favors the well prepared. Yeah, my girlfriend is worried that somebody might break in because recently I had a falling out with a psychotic human being. And he's not very strong.
And I was like, what are you worried about? He's like, he is crazy. I was like, yeah, no, he is crazy. And she was like, he could break in here.
And I was like, if he breaks in here, he will die. Yeah. Like you realize that, right? Yeah, but I'd rather you just make sure you locked all the doors.
And I was like, right, I duly noted, but also you need to duly know that I would kill anybody that comes in here. And she just wouldn't. She just was like, you need to agree that you will lock all the doors. I said I would lock all the doors.
But now you need to say that I could kill anyone. Yeah. I was like, I got a gun. I got a I got the clip.
I know where they are. You are a gun. Thank you. Man.
I talked to Wiz Khalifa yesterday. How's he doing? He's great. He says hello.
And he said that I am because we talked about music and Tony Hawk, I'm just named Robyn Bob McQueen. My ass off right now. But he was like, Jason was a musician. And he was like, oh yeah.
And then when I talked about Al Van. Michael Finay and Stan. And then I had a record deal and we were like, nah, we're not getting any money. So we quit until our own record deal.
Yeah. We went, we went in. And he was like so you're basically the underground king. And I was like, Wiz Khalifa just called me the underground king.
Called A Hib Seedee. Yee. So I was like that. I'm running with that on the underground king.
Great. Because we were very profitable. You should you should of crew like nine nicknames like the leaders and go thrones. You should have seen that we had to like schedule extra time for his ring dynasty.
That was famous. Those were not all my idea. First of his name. But I was basically like a white Apollo great at one point.
It was a stupid. The Australians, Delion. That's so good. The Underground King is like somebody else's fight name too.
It's Eddie Alvarez is the Underground King. And he's arguably a better deserving Underground King because he actually beat up a lot of people. Only one. Only one too pro-fied.
So I think he won 50. So yeah, he can have it. Yeah. But in here on the Underground King.
Absolutely. So you're Romanian, right? Unfortunately. Yeah.
What does it look like? What do you mean by that exactly? You were born there. I was born there.
And then I immigrated with my family. How old were you? I was three. So you don't realize my call though.
How can you sound like us? Because he was three. No, you're kind of a bullshit Romanian. That's true.
Yeah. If you learn another language before 12, chances are your accent will dissipate in it. Right. That's where I slipped up.
I came here when I was 17. Oh, right over the cuss. Otherwise I'd have been like, dude. What's up?
Yeah. That's funny that you're more of an immigrant than me. Auditory-wise. Yeah.
But you go back though, right? All the fucking time. Because you were just talking about how the temperature changes. Yeah.
That sounds like someone who's been there. They used to send me every summer. My parents would be like, we just want an off season. From you.
From me. And I'm only a child. Yeah. Not even any other.
Well, that's the thing. When you have an only child, you're so goddamn. Because every time you leave the room, every time you go to a piss, they're like, so you can be like, oh god. Yeah.
And then my grandparents were really needy. They were like, we want the boy. We want the child. Oh, wow.
I'd get set there. Can you speak Romanian? Ah, see what? Did I say something racist by saying Romanian?
No. No. That's a language. People ask us, they're like, what do you speak in Romanian?
I go Chinese. It's Romanian. You know what I'm talking about? I've traveled.
It's a romance language. It's one of the five Latin derivatives. You know what's not a romance language German. It's just to me, it's like, all right, if you really want to fist me, sure, then stop talking.
Yeah. That's what it's an efficient language. Is it German? Yeah.
I guess it's good for like, if you're a security guy. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's just angry.
But the romantic language is like Portuguese, French or whatever. Yeah. Anyone can tell they're romantic. And then when I speak Romanian, they're like, that's stolen valor.
That's not a romance. Like that's hate speech right there. It does seem aggressive. It's Slavic.
It's like 60% Latin. But then we got the da da. You know what's interesting is I feel like the world has gotten so much smaller and our culture's gotten so much more multicultural. Like I went to go see Moana too with the family last night.
What's that Michael? Fucking terrible. I knew it was a shit. The first one was so fucking good.
They didn't even give a shit with this one. They didn't even try. But they definitely are aiming for a lot of faithfulness to the tradition of Pacific Islander. Yes.
Knowing that you were coming by and getting to know a little bit about you, I'm like, huh, this is like a doughnut hole in my knowledge of world cultures. Nobody's talking about Romania. There you go. First perfect 10.
First perfect 10. Wait, and she belonged? No. Do you know other blonde people in Romania?
Yeah, we do have a range of white. I should say this bit. I'm going to. So this one time I was at the X Games.
I was an athlete. I was in the, I wasn't in the ass. I was actually, yeah. And I was in the athlete lounge for extreme athletes.
And then there was this girl who was a Romanian gymnast. That's our export. And she was in the athlete lounge. And you were like, what are you fucking doing at the X Games?
She had pretty eyes. We didn't check her. Oh, I checked her. You did?
Yeah. Well, she checked me. And then we exchanged five numbers. This is bad.
Yes. This is what I was a bad guy. So then you learned about balling flexibility. I may or may not have been in a relationship.
Ooh. A lot of people don't know this, but I've been divorced three times. This is the first one. So this one doesn't really count.
Yeah, yeah. Because it was like she was Australian. She used to punch me in the face and stuff. Is that not just an Australian relationship?
No, no. No, it's not. I almost just said yes. I'm not a real hijack.
I understand. I didn't. What the hell? What is Kengrujak?
It's a bad movie from 2000. It's a talking kangaroo. I think so. No, I don't even know if it's talking.
I think they just hang out with it. Honestly, I don't want to interrupt your story, but the fact that it's coming up and what you just said. I heard the opposite. I was on an elevator one time.
Jack, if you see Kengrujak. I was on an elevator. Sorry. Yes, I have the.
Kengruj is very violent. Does he talk? I think so. I can't really remember.
Isn't it crazy that you don't remember that he talked? He looks cool as hell though. Look at him. He doesn't look cool as hell.
He's a cartoon. He's not even a real kangaroo. Yeah. We can't go to Jack.
Gerry O'Connell and Anthony Anderson. Oh, Gerry O'Connell. Promoting. Kengrujak.
Oh, wow. So I was working in a different entertainment job. And just when you're in the biz, everybody, you don't even know what he needs to tell you. You just, you be cool.
The act like it's not your first rodeo. We had one guy in the office who later got fired, I believe, for borrowing money from the VP and not paying her back. Like lunch money shit. Gets, I get on an elevator.
I'm bringing these guys up to get interviewed. And it's me, Gerry O'Connell, Anthony Anderson, and then this one guy sneaks on just the doors are closing and he's just staring at them. And he goes, where do I know you? Where do I know you from?
The worst thing you can do. Where do I know you from? No. And they look at each other and Gerry O'Connell is like, I'll hang on this one.
He goes, we're in a new movie called Kengrujak. It's very funny. No. Possibly the worst way you can do it.
No, the guy from the, dude. Yeah. One time one of my other ex-wives had a few drinks at a dinner party where it was a lot of famous people and Jessica, no. Who's the one that we always talk about?
Yeah, Jessica Alba. Yeah, Jessica Alba was at the dinner. And she's at the table next to my wife. And she goes, I know you, don't I?
And I'm like, no. And she goes, no, I don't believe you do it. She's like, no, I think we went to school together. Oh, that's a bad.
Your face is so familiar. And I'm just like, because she's, this ex-wife is actually a very smart person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, you're going to regret this.
Because I know why you think you know her. And it's like you should kind of figure out that this is a room full of famous people. If you recognize a face, it's not because you went to school. Because they're on fucking TV all the time.
Wait, did you work in my altar? But then I watched it click and she was like, oh. Yeah. So we just together talked on a stick.
Jessica. Oh, man. I tried to prepare for those scenarios. I read it.
Was IMDB. No, you don't. Whatever. Absolutely.
And whatever their worst credit is, that's what I'm on a plan. I'm like, hey, wait, Christian Bale, are you the voice in Pocahontas? Have I ever met him? Just fine.
You know, one time I was hosting in standup and somebody gave me their name and I tried to be like an eager beaver and I looked at their credits and it turned out there was another comic, not super famous, but way more successful than them. So I read all the credits and they're like, yeah, that's another comic. That's, that's, that's, I did do those things. I actually do anything.
Anyway, Romanian Olympian. What to speak to his like knowledge gap and it's funny. There's a Romanian's in Australia. It's similar population size.
It's like what? 23 million over there? How many of you? That clears up nothing for me.
We know so much about somebody's small country. Nigeria. 300 million people. We don't know about Nigeria.
I, but your tongue. Okay. Besides Lagos. What do you know?
I know somebody in Lagos. There you go. Okay. I'm not even speaking necessarily.
You were knowledge. It's just like a common American knowledge gap thing. We're like, yeah, we'll learn about five countries that are kind of our allies and stuff and then India and China because we're scared. We're like, okay, we're cool.
That's a big part of it. People want to know about us because we sound cool. Well, we were historically gay too. We teamed up with Hitler.
Oh, yeah. We were an access country. Oh, left that out. We're just going to make a bunch of gypsy jokes.
Unfortunately, that's the thing that appealed to the Romanians about Hitler. They're like, he says he's got some gypsy photos. So maybe not a little bit. Can I see your angle?
If they're annoying, I get it. I like them. I'm just trying to. So you're not related to gypsy folk?
No, my property Romanians. Yes. Well, it's funny because they consider themselves like super white. We're like Balkan Latins, whatever that means.
Exactly. So can I talk about this Romanian or not? The gypsies have been in Romania for like 800 years and local Romanians. That's not that.
That's not that. That's 100%. I guess you don't want to know about my Olympic journey. Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Sorry. I'm jumping the gun here. So anyway, we exchanged numbers, right? And I don't want a number because I'm married, but at the same time, the person I'm married to is a bitch.
But it's still not justifying it. Sure. She is really into me and she's calling me all the time. But the thing is, is when she calls me, it started to, this thing started to happen where she was like, wait, I must go.
And there would be, she would say her trainer would come in and be like, what is going on? I don't even say much of Romanian stuff. And she would hang up and then she called me like a day later, like, I'm so sorry. I'm like, who the fuck is that?
He's like, is my trainer? And I was like, wow. And then at one time he actually grabbed the phone. He's like, what is this talking?
And I was like, I'm not saying I am. And Tony Hawk. What are you going to do about it, dude? I'm going to get a nano and you're fucking face.
But the relationship with the trainers is weird. Like all gymnasts. It seemed like a dad or a husband. Yeah.
But I do believe it. It's that plus predator. Yeah. Right.
Yes. But I ended up, um, shh. Yeah, fucking. So she did this thing where she could stand on one foot and then bring her other foot up behind her back.
Whoa. Yeah. And that was like, is that a pirouette? What is that?
I had a name for it. RF case now. Oh, look at that. I'm not going to be in the presentation.
But it was, it was cool. But one time she texted me. I think it was text. Yeah.
I think so. Or she left a voice message. She's a strong accent. I am.
Oh, yeah. She said, be boy. Yeah. But my first wife saw the tech.
I woke up and this is, this is, I'm not like she would beat me regularly. Nobody believed me until she did it in front of somebody and then everyone was like, this whole time when you were talking about how your wife would beat you, I was like, dude, she's adorable. She's very cute. She doesn't seem like that kind of person.
And I would always, I'm like, do this two sizes. You don't know. What happened? Dude, she wouldn't slap.
She closed their hand. Did she, one time beat me up so bad that we're in a hotel and there was another guy in the hotel room next to me and he was the photographer for DC and we're about to get on the tour bus and he goes, hey, man, can I tell you for a second? And I go, yeah. And I didn't really like him because he wasn't a skateboarder and I was back then when I was like, I don't associate with crooks.
And he seemed like a nice guy and he was like, hey, man, I'm in the room next to you and I heard what happened last night and I was like, I know you're a big guy and she's a little girl, but nobody should put up with that shit. Dude, you need to get a divorce. And I was like, and I remember his sincerity. I was like one of the first wake-up calls.
Dude, I was, that was when I was like, if you don't go to anger management, I want a divorce. And then I think she went to one class and then punched me again and that was, I was like, that's it, we're done. But this one time I was asleep and I woke up to getting punched. I don't know how many times I was punched before I woke up, but I was getting punched.
But this is, this is why I'm a little surprised you find domestic violence so hilarious. I'm from Eastern Europe. It's just our culture. It is, right?
She would have done it too if I had a day to do. But she, and my ex wife was Australian and Romanian. She had Romanian blood. And that was, that's why she beat me.
But it was half prisoner and half Romanian. Yeah, which is basically a dual prison issue. But she beat me and I remember thinking, well, you are a cheater and that's what you get. You know, like it wasn't, I didn't think she was a bad person for it.
Oh, interesting. You just immediately went tit for tat. The scales of justice were blind in your eyes. You're like, well, I did this.
And so I remember there was, I think it was maybe even a therapist or somebody where they were like, I was like, well, people, she beat me. And they're like, that's unacceptable. And I was like, I don't think you realize how annoying I am. And they were like, geez, that's, that's still, that doesn't matter how annoying you are.
And I was like, oh, you haven't lived with me. And I remember like arguing. I'm like, no, dude, you don't know. Like I am a steaming pie.
You're a victim. No, no. Yeah. I was like, I'm pretty sure I had it coming.
But yeah, but that was a great moment for me, except for the, the being married. If I had been single and I had it just had a relationship with her, I think she was a medalist. Whoa. I think she was like, I think she was like famous.
You know, she was at the X, they flew her there. I think she was a gold medalist. Just to be hanging around with other. Yeah.
Like she was, she had the, the tracks, like, I mean, that was, she was still dressed like she was an Olympian. Like it was no other life. She was living off that. Yeah, sure.
I'm from two places that have famous gymnasts. Okay. Romania and Houston. Houston has, oh yeah, that's a mumba.
Right. She found, she got stressed out, right? She, here's the weird fucked up crazy thing. She had the same coach, like gymnast coach or whatever, as Nadia.
They're still kicking around? Yeah. Bella Carly and his wife. All right.
They are the reason why. She's not ended for Nadia. She like drank bleach. I know, she's still alive.
No, I know, but she just tried to kill her. She tried to kill her. Yeah. They were bleached seems like a pretty piss-week way to do it.
She was like 15. Yeah. You don't have options in communist Romania. Yeah.
Right. But have a sleep she needed to drink to die. More than she did. She did.
She did. She did like an Napoleon situation where it made her stronger. Right. Yeah.
But yeah, these guys were like monsters. Like true, the gymnast coaches were considered some of the biggest psychotics. The US brought them over and made them part of their USA gymnastics. And how did USA gymnastics do when they moved here?
Oh, yeah. We've been dominating. Besides the Beijing Olympics. But the reason I bring it up, you know the fucking crazy gymnastics doctor that molested all the gymnasts or whatever.
That's right. A lot of the gymnasts said that guy, Larry Nassar, was the only friendly adult they experienced in their gymnast career. Ew. That's how fucking horrific these gymnast coaches.
But he had an ulterior motive. Sure. Absolutely. But it's a, it just goes to show how fucking dark that entire environment is.
It's really at all costs. Yeah. Of course, standing back to the fact that I doubt these guys were masters of disguising the nature of their personality and yet the parents kept bringing them back there for six hours a day. Oh, the parents were kind of like, I don't know what this is or whatever.
But you see the results and you go, I can't argue with that. Right. And I'm not talking about that Larry guy. No, no, no.
If the coaches are all pieces of shit. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's a lot of other way to be like, we need to have like gold medals and some presence in the Olympics.
We were a shit country. No one knew anything about that. Well, and that was sort of a pissing contest of the Cold War. Big part of the Cold War is that we can't fight, but we can't do the Olympics.
Right. Exactly. The proxy war was actually having nuclear war, which Russia versus America and the Olympics. By the way, I mean, there was that whole thing right in the, in the 60s.
It was like, which, which, which the president of which country has a better kitchen. Yeah. These are like international incident of like cruise shipping. I have two blenders and they're like, oh, I got three over here.
It was better than Russia. Like it was a big fucking thing. JFK's like, I have three side pieces. I need to blame it.
Yeah. Yeah. So yes, that's what it was a major priority. By the way, if they did the Olympics more often, and that was just all the proxy war, maybe we'd have less war.
Yeah. But then we'd have more Olympics. You're right. Back to war.
Wait, do you think they're bad? I'm not. No, no, I'm saying I'm saying that if we did the Olympics more, that could just be all the war instead of like invading each other. But I just do the Olympics.
I think they should have more Olympics. I think it should be every you. I think they have world championships in most things if you're interested in. But the drop off is so crazy.
Like, well, you can watch it. No, but we don't. It's like WNBA. I'm not watching it, but I think they should have more games.
I agree. But the drop off between the world championships on a non-Olympic year is like 10,000 people watch and the Olympics is 4 billion. I think they should just give more people opportunities to win medals for their country. Sure.
Every four years is like, sometimes people lose and then the next four years come and they're not the two world to compete against. That's right. There you go. If you had it another next year, then there's always next year.
That's right. I believe that an athlete that dedicates their life to being the best in the world should be given another chance at least once a year. Absolutely. That's all I'm saying.
The first three years is like the Greek style naked Greco Roman. Yeah, okay. I don't really want you, but I think I probably would. And they can't be professionals.
It's amateurs too. Right. That is the old Olympics. Back to how it used to be.
That's just Bellator, isn't it? Yeah. I don't know. I feel like because I know that skateboarding is now in the Olympics and they don't have vert skating in the Olympics yet, but I wish they did.
And I'm happy for the Australian girl. It was a true. She won, I think, two gold medals for Australia in skateboarding. And I follow her.
She's got interviews and she's on TV. And she's like, I want to my parents to buy me ducks if I want a gold medal. And she has pet ducks or some shit. That's pretty cool.
I'm like, yeah, man. And then like she got away in another four years. I mean, she is like fucking 12 or something. 13 or something.
So she will be in the next one. But I don't know, man. I feel like, you know, they build a city. You know, they deck it out and tourists come and they make money and you know, most of the like the city's lose money on the Olympics.