Raising Kids Who Don’t Look Like You: Transracial Foster Care and Adoption

What does it really mean to raise children who don’t look like you? In this honest episode, host Shannon talks with foster and adoptive parents Ashley, Jeff, and Tori about the realities of transracial foster care and adoption — the joy, challenges, microaggressions, and responsibility of parenting across racial lines. The families share how race became part of their foster care journey, the growth and advocacy required, and the hard conversations many parents aren’t prepared for. From public scrutiny and intrusive questions to hair care, school bias, safety concerns, and the myth of being “colorblind,” this episode gives voice to what transracial foster and adoptive parents often experience but rarely hear said out loud. “When we were adopting our son, a social worker asked us, ‘Are you ready to raise this boy as a Black man?’ At the time, my white wife and I thought that was the dumbest question ever. We thought, ‘Why would you say that? Why not just raise him as a man?’ That was the mindset I had been surrounded by my entire life. And I don’t believe that anymore. I don’t believe that was a stupid question.” -Jeff What You Will Learn: Why love alone isn’t enough in transracial foster care and adoption What parents wish they had known before saying yes How microaggressions show up in everyday life and how kids absorb them The emotional weight of advocating for your child in public spaces and school Why representation, community, and cultural humility matter How to prepare your child for conversations about race and identity The difference between good intentions and informed parenting  Timestamps: 00:00 – Transracial foster care overview 00:27 – Guests introduction 01:18 – Transracial family makeup 04:19 – Choosing transracial foster care 14:21 – Preparing for transracial parenting 19:32 – Challenges in transracial foster care 29:26 – Microaggressions & public reactions 34:31 – Microaggressions explained 40:15 – Encouraging community moment 43:33 – Resources for transracial families 53:26 – Advice for foster parents 01:02:38 – Final thoughts on foster care 01:03:10 – Podcast outro Episode Resources: Catch up on previous episodes of In Real Life: Foster Care Unfiltered here: https://chsnc.org/about/podcast/ For more information about Children’s Home Society of North Carolina, visit: chsnc.org To be a guest on the podcast, email: [email protected] To learn more about foster care, visit: https://chsnc.org/adoption-and-foster-care/get-started/ Let’s be friends! Follow us on social media:  Facebook: @chsnorthcarolina  Instagram: @chs_nc LinkedIn: linkedin.com/company/chs-nc YouTube: @chsnc