Rambling With Rashard

A very old but my most popular episode me and Rashard partake in some SPECIAL brownies and then just talk about child support and deadbeats In this podcast episode, hosts Big Smooth and Rashard Kennedy discuss co-parenting challenges, relationship dynamics, and social media's impact on modern relationships. They share personal experiences and offer advice on putting children first, avoiding public arguments, and building healthy relationships. Key Takeaways (01:17) Co-parenting challenges: Co-parenting is difficult because people let their negative feelings about the failed relationship affect their parenting. Parents should not take out their bitterness on the children or use them as pawns, such as denying visitation or refusing to provide support. The focus should always be on the child's well-being, not personal grievances. (05:14) Personal co-parenting story: Big Smooth shares his experience with his ex-wife, who initially threatened to move away and limit his access to their son. He persisted in communication and involvement, eventually earning her respect and building a cooperative co-parenting relationship. They now communicate regularly and support each other in parenting decisions. (09:49) Child support misuse: Child support is meant for the child's welfare, not for the parent's personal expenses like nails, hair, or club outings. If a father is actively providing for the child's needs, such as school supplies, clothes, and attending events, child support should not be a contentious issue. Some women misuse child support, which creates resentment. (15:26) Gift card tip: To ensure child support is used for the child, men can give store-specific gift cards (e.g., Food City, Foot Locker, diapers.com) instead of cash or prepaid cards. If the mother gets upset, it indicates she may be using the money for herself rather than the child. This helps verify that funds are spent on the child's needs. (17:15) Avoid social media drama: People should not air out relationship or co-parenting issues on social media, as it invites unnecessary drama and fake news. Posting screenshots or arguments publicly is disrespectful and unproductive. Instead, handle conflicts privately and keep personal matters off public platforms. (21:53) Know your worth: Women should know their worth and not waste time on men who don't want to be with them. Presenting oneself with self-respect attracts better partners. Physical intimacy alone (WAP) won't keep a man; building a genuine connection is more important. (29:59) 90-day rule: The 90-day rule, where a couple waits 90 days before having sex, can help determine if a man is genuinely interested. If he's only after sex, he'll likely leave or complain. If he's serious, he'll respect the boundary and the relationship can build on a stronger foundation. (36:31) Dating with kids: People with children should not refuse to date others who have kids, especially if they have kids themselves. The focus should be on whether the person treats the children well, not on past relationships. Co-parenting should not interfere with new relationships unless it's for the children's benefit. (41:57) Catfishing story: Big Smooth helped his ex-wife uncover a catfish who was posing as a different person online. He created a fake profile and discovered the man was a 26-year-old white guy pretending to be a 36-year-old black man. This highlights the importance of being cautious about who you meet online, especially when children are involved. (43:41) Putting kids first: Parents should always prioritize their children over new partners. If a child needs you, you should go, even if it means leaving a date or interrupting time with a partner. This commitment to the child's well-being is essential for healthy co-parenting. (46:36) Avoid upstaging: New partners should not try to upstage the child's other parent by buying bigger gifts or making grand gestures. This creates unnecessary competition and can confuse the child. Instead, coordinate with the other parent to ensure the child's needs are met without rivalry. (52:46) Social media relationship status: Some people consider a relationship official only when it's announced on Facebook, which is a modern phenomenon. However, not everyone wants to share their relationship status publicly, and that's okay. Social media can be a double-edged sword, causing unnecessary drama and insecurity.