RE 165: Do I Have a Drinking Problem? Part II

Today we have Darla, with 3 years since her last drink. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. "Do I have a drinking problem?" Part II The first episode under this particular theme came out back in March of 2015. In "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp, a questionnaire is presented that will help you determine whether or not you have a drinking problem, and if yes, at what stage your drinking problem is. See the questions below: 1. Do you drink heavily when you are disappointed or have had a quarrel with someone? 2. When you have trouble or feel under pressure, do you always drink more heavily than usual? 3. Can you handle more alcohol now than when you first started to drink? 4. Have you ever been unable to remember part of the previous evening, even though your friends say you didn't pass out? 5. When drinking with other people, do you try to have a few extra drinks when others won't know about it? 6. Do you sometimes feel uncomfortable if alcohol is not available? 7. Are you more in a hurry to get your first drink of the day than you used to be? 8. Do you sometimes feel a little guilty about your drinking? 9. Has a family member or close friend express concern or complained about your drinking? 10. Have you been having more memory "blackouts" recently? 11. Do you often want to continue drinking after your friends say they've had enough? 12. Do you usually have a reason for the occasions when you drink heavily? 13. When you're sober, do you sometimes regret things you did or said while drinking? 14. Have you tried switching brands or drinks, or following different plans to control your drinking? 15. Have you sometimes failed to keep promises you made to yourself about controlling or cutting down on your drinking? 16. Have you ever tried to control your drinking by changing jobs or moving to a new location? 17. Do you try to avoid family or close friends while you are drinking? 18. Are you having more financial, work, school, and/or family problems as a result of your drinking? 19. Do more people seem to be treating you unfairly, without reason? 20. Do you eat very little or irregularly during the periods when you are drinking? 21. Do you sometimes have the "shakes" in the morning and find that it helps to have a "little" drink, tranquilizer or medication of some kind? 22. Have you recently noticed that you can't drink as much as you used to? 23. Do you sometimes stay drunk for several days at a time? 24. Do you sometimes feel very depressed and wonder if life is worth living? 25. After periods of drinking do you sometimes see or hear things that aren't there? 26. Do you get terribly frightened after you have been drinking heavily? Know that actions often speak louder than words. If you are listening to a recovery podcast, filling out a recovery questionnaire, wondering whether or not you have a problem, then chances are your actions are telling you that you do. That conclusion is an okay place to be, too. Better to realize it earlier than later so you reach out and get help if you need it. SHOW NOTES [11:00] Paul Introduces Darla. Lives in Grand Junction, Colorado, 52 years old, mother of two. [13:00] When did you first realize that you had a problem with drinking? Drinking has been a part of her life for a long time but it never had power over her until her mid 40's. It happened gradually. She tried to control it with rules, but despite her efforts it continued to escalate. [16:00] How old were you when you put limits on your drinking? Around 45 she drank regularly and 46 it progressed. [16:54] Was there a specific stressor in your life at the time? The end of her marriage. Her therapist advised her to get a divorce. She had to get a restraining order. It was easy to lean on drinking because she grew up around it. [19:15] Did anyone in your family history struggle with alcohol? Her father's side. Her grandfather, father and brother. Others have issues with other kinds of addiction. [22:13] What were the rules you put in place to try to reign in your drinking? She tried to limit the day of the week. Her targets kept moving as she kept breaking her own rules. She felt like it was against her will. [23:33] Did you ever attempt to quit before this attempt? Not really. Despite a DUI, a court order to stop drinking, and CBT classes she continued to drink. When she quit, she was "white knuckling" it. She had moderate success but then binged at a holiday party, which lead her to another DUI and waking up in jail. The consequences terrified her and scared her enough to quit. [31:00] How did you end up quitting? She called a family attorney. She went to therapy, both individual and group. She ended up in AA. [32:45] What do you do when you get cravings? She recognizes the thoughts that lead to relapse. She still feels powerless against alcohol. [34:15] What unpleasant things did you have to do to stay sober? She went to AA. She didn't want to admit that she was an alcoholic. She didn't want to admit that she was afraid. She had to accept the circumstances. [35:35] Has being in recovery helped you at work? It gave her a level of compassion others may not have. She can help guide people toward resources. She's letting people know about it slowly, especially at work. [40:20] Why are you going to attend the Cafe RE trip to Peru? She wants to challenge herself. She wants to seize new opportunities. [41:22] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking? Waking up in a jail cell and not remembering how she got there. Did you ever have an "oh-shit" moment? Going in to work hungover, knowing that she wasn't able to drive. What's your plan moving forward? Keep doing the one day at a time. What's your favorite resource in recovery? Meditation, exercise, activities, service / helping others. What's the best advice you've ever received (on sobriety)? Get out her own head and to help others. Helps with cravings, anxiety. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Examine yourself. Are you willing to do whatever it takes? You might be an alcoholic if... "you come to in jail, in a suicide suit, and you wonder where the rest of the bottle is." Resources: Drinking: A Love Story – A book by Caroline Knapp Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!"