RE 266: Rule 22

Today we have Renee. She took her last drink January 2nd, 2020. This is her story. Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE. On today's episode Paul talks about Rule 22. What it is. Why it is important to make this rule a part of your life ASAP. Rule 22 = Lighten up. Don't take yourself too seriously. Laughter really is the best medicine. Life is never as serious as the mind wants us to believe. [12:00] Paul introduces Renee. Renee is 40 years old and live in Greendale, WI. She is a hair stylist and is currently working at a children's hair salon. She is married and they have 2 kids, a 10-year-old and a 7-year-old. Renee also has a 20-year-old son from a previous relationship. For fun Renee likes to hike, camp, go on vacations, paddleboard and jigsaw puzzles. [17:25] Give us a background on your drinking. Renee started drinking as a teenager, around the age of 15. She says she did it to fit in and have fun. She met her husband, in a bar, in her early 20s and they pretty much drank together every weekend. It wasn't until 2007 that Renee started drinking more than just on the weekends. After getting married they were drinking 3-4 days out of the week. Renee got pregnant early on and while she couldn't drink due to being pregnant, her husband continued to drink. That made Renee mad because she wanted to drink. Renee did start drinking again, in the hospital, after giving birth to her children. [20:30] Was drinking again, as soon as you had your baby, something that you had pre-planned? Renee said she could not wait to drink after her baby was born. She did the same exact thing during and after her 2nd pregnancy a few years later. [24:18] Why do you think your husband came clean about his drinking? Renee said he told her because he couldn't do it anymore. [24:40] What was your response? Renee was pissed off when he first told her. [28:35] When did you both recognize that alcohol was almost the driving divider? Renee says it was in October of 2019 when her husband told her about his drinking. They started to put all the pieces together and realized that everything bad that had happened between them was caused by alcohol, in some way, or somehow. [30:40] Has there been a moment when one of you was about to drink and you had that conversation where you lean on each other, and you both made it through? Renee said yes, that there had been a couple of those moments. [30:05] Was January 2 a planned date? Renee said yes, it was a planned date. She went to work that day and was cutting hair with shaky hands. [35:40] How did you get through the last 45 days? Renee says that they bought a new treadmill, have been binge watching Netflix, just finding things to keep their minds off of it. But that it was really hard at first. [38:53] How has working with a counselor helped with your anxiety and depression? Renee says it helped a lot. She didn't have any anxiety after the first couple weeks. It just started to get a little better and better until now, when she says she has none. [40:40] Rapid Fire Round What's a lightbulb moment you've had on this journey? I realized that alcohol has basically affected everything in my life. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you? Recently we got a lot of snow here and we took the kids sledding. What is some advice you'd give to your younger self? To try and surround myself with people who aren't party people. What are some of your favorite resources? Well definitely your podcast, lots of reading. What is on your bucket list in a life without alcohol? We want to do a lot more traveling. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners? If you are thinking about drinking, or if you are thinking that you drink too much, you probably do. You might need to ditch the booze if... You do a drunken cartwheel and wake up in the morning to find your whole hand is black and blue because you broke your middle finger. The book, Alcohol is Sh!t, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here! Resources mentioned in this episode: Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [email protected] "Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up. You can do this."