RE 596: Hiding in Plain Sight

Today we have Becca. She is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 7th, 2024. This episode is brought to you by: Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Check out this free guide to your first seven days without alcohol. Registration for our sober travel trip to Morocco is open! This trip will take place March 3rd – 13th, 2027. [02:25] Thoughts from Paul: The most important thing that someone has to achieve or overcome if they are to quit drinking is denial. The very convincing inner voice that keeps telling you on repeat that you do not have a problem. This is hard because we build our lives around alcohol and usually this is done unconsciously. The problem is often hiding in plain sight, and you just can't or choose not to see it. It's also hard because marketing is powerful and smart people are paid a lot of money to make you feel like it's a required sidecar to life. So even though the addiction is hiding in plain sight, you also know it is there. You know how alcohol makes you feel. In addition to the voice saying you don't have a problem, there is another voice telling you, "I'll give you 50 more hangovers and then it's time to move on". Next week, we'll talk more about moving on. [06:23] Paul introduces Becca: Becca is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, has two cats and 12-13 nieces and nephews. For fun, Becca enjoys hiking, music, reading, film, cooking and puzzles. Becca was one of seven children growing up. Her older siblings liked to party, so Becca followed in their footsteps in her early teens. She drank and smoked pot for a few years before getting introduced to harder drugs when she was around 16. She quickly felt like she had cracked the code for getting through life. Becca says she was really naïve and spending time with bad people. In 2010, Becca was in a car accident that left her badly injured. She was only 19 and says this was the lowest time of her life. She withdrew from opiates but ended up going back out before having a friend take her to rehab where she first attempted recovery and eventually got sober in 2012. Becca dealt with the loss of several friends in 2013, and this is when excessive drinking sneaked into her life. She had another accident and DUI in 2014 and refused to believe that the drinking was a problem. She was able to quit when she went to school and believed that since she could quit for periods of time, that it wasn't an issue for her. Becca believed that she should be able to control her drinking and would beat herself up whenever she wasn't. Her drinking slowed dramatically in 2019 because she was sick of the anxiety and how she was relating to herself. She did end up becoming a workaholic to avoid dealing with anything that was bothering her. After staying sober through the pandemic, Becca began to use drinking as a way to connect with others and not drink by herself. Within a few weeks she was right back into self-loathing and trapped in the cycle of stops and starts for the next several years. In 2024, Becca took a fall at work that has had lasting physical and emotional impacts. She went through another dark time where she wasn't showing up for herself or others and was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. It was after six months of sobriety that Becca joined AA, found the RE podcast, and later joined Café RE. In her previous attempts at quitting, Becca was trying to do it by herself. Being part of community has been life-changing for her in that she feels acceptance and the ability to hear her story in others. This year she has finally started to feel safer in her nervous system, she is more grounded in herself and able to hold space for good things. Becca's parting piece of guidance: Don't get stuck on the fear. Get out of that comfortable pain and embrace something new. Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes RE YouTube