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Handpicked the finest sweaters from the rest. Ooh, cashmere. Landed makeup palettes from the brands you love. Brushes, too. And hustled all those wishlist-topping toys. So flush. Our buyers have got you covered. Marshalls, we get the deals. You get the good stuff. Hello, listener. This is Jason Bateman along with Will Arnett and Sean Hayes for the podcast called Smartless. If that's the place you're looking for, you found it. Congratulations. It's not a real high-concept podcast. One person invites a guest. The other two don't know who that guest is. And then we chat. Here we go.
Jason, you missed this last time. Look what I got. That's a Baby Yoda? That's a Baby Yoda, and there's a message on here. Is that from the Mandalorian show? Yeah, the Mandalorian. This is from my friend Michael Cohen in the Cohen family. Not that Michael Cohen. But look, and he recorded this. Welcome to SmartList, the best podcast in the world. With my dear friends Sean Hayes, Jason Bateman, and William Arnett.
He went William. I like that he went William. Yeah, and Baby Yoda said that. So he's the voice of Baby Yoda? Yeah, could you not tell him? He sounds Latin. I didn't know Baby Yoda. Actually, he is. Baby Yoda is Latin, huh? I gotta watch that show. I'm developing a new show. It's Baby Yoda Nanny. And it's a nanny who works, who looks after her. No, it's just the doll that you leave with your kids and tell them they're watching them. Yeah. It should be noted, Jason's haircut. Have you commented on it? It looks good, finally. It looks good, right? Well, this is, guys, listen. This is just rolled right out of bed. It's such a thick head of hair. I know. It's so thick. But it's a very boyish look he's got going right now, isn't it? Yeah. It's very boyish.
I know. I'm trying to get respect as an adult, but that's why sometimes I try to grow up my facial hair, but that takes... You push? It costs me a year, actually, to grow that. Because you're just saying to the world, hey, I'm a man.
Yeah, oh man, deal with it. All right, so speaking of men, we have a man today. This is a funny man, a family man. And for the next hour, he's a smart list man. Ladies and gentlemen, Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler. The one and only. I love it. I'm sorry about this. Wow, look at that. That's a man. Look at the beard. It's gross. It's gross. Good to see you all too. You're moving dime bags or something with a beard like that. Wow. It started off early in the pandemic and I just kept going because I gained a lot. So I was covering the neck. You gained a lot of weight?
of knowledge, of knowledge. Yeah. Yeah, a lot of weight. But wait, I just read a report yesterday that said belly fat is now officially medically proven to lessen your life if you have a lot of belly fat, no matter how much other fat you have. Let's see it, Sean. Let's see it, Sean. And scream, you guys don't like cookies? Once a week, he brings it up. There it is, the bagel. I don't know who ate the cookies. What'd you call it, the bagel? The bagel. Squeeze the belly button together, make a circle.
Sometimes I say to my husband, I'll switch, I'll pucker this up. I'll go, fuck that belly. That makes sense. It looks good. All right. So Adam, do you have a plan aside from pushing like a bench press or something? What's your plan? Is it going to be diet? Is it going to be exercise? Well, this is what I'm doing. And I just kind of started this. So at the beginning of the pandemic, my buddy was doing the eight hours a day you eat thing, the intermittent fasting. So I was doing that during the pandemic, but I was starting eating at like five in the afternoon. So I was going deep into the night and then I'd wake up kind of thick.
So then, uh, then I got some bad information. I thought he, I said to him anytime. And he said, yeah, you take the hour. So I did. He responded while chewing. I think he looks great. But I, so anyways, I started again. Uh, I just, I'm trying to calm down and I'm doing one in the afternoon to around seven, seven 30. I quit.
And then you're done chewing until the next morning or afternoon? Yeah, until the next one o'clock rolls around. Oh, buddy, that's so good. That's a good one, but I eat a lot during the six and a half hours. It doesn't work for me. It doesn't work for my body. It doesn't work for me. I tried doing that. I was on a strictly ice cream diet, but. Yeah. You got to try it longer than a couple of days, Will, you know? What do you do, Will? You look good. Well, thank you. Like I said, I've been doing the walk and I've been working out and I've got this real kind of, what I refer to as my jailhouse gym in my garage now. Jason's seen it. It's a disaster, but. But there's weights and like homemade stuff you did? Oh, there's weights and then there's like baby.
Carriages and stuff are just crap everywhere. It really looks like it. I have a question, Adam. How long have you been flying a spacecraft? Does that look like that? Looks like a control center. This is in my house, fellas. I just got to Philadelphia. Oh, wow. Wait, what are those? Why do you have? He's got some Nikes in a plastic box. Those are LeBron James shoes. The man who owns this house knows LeBron. Do you know the man in the house? I don't. I haven't met him yet. He's pandemic. So you rent it. He leaves. Oh, you're renting. I see. I just got here two days ago. But he's left those shoes there for people to admire that are renters? I think he was just letting me know that I'm not the only shoe guy.
Famous person that he was. Yeah, exactly. Wait a second. Wait a second. Adam, I have to ask you this because I've never brought it up. I've only met you a handful of times over the years. We don't know each other that well. I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, and I think that you're awesome and hilarious. Same thing. Sounds like something really insulting is about to happen. No, no, no. One of the funniest things I've ever witnessed, and I've quoted this a thousand times, maybe more, is years ago you were on Letterman. Yeah. And he said to you, tell me if you remember this, he said to you,
You came on Letterman and you said, you know, Dave, he said, how are you doing? You said, you know, I'm doing okay. But last year I said something and you said to me, what, are you an idiot? And you really burned me. And I was thinking about it all year. Just, I wish I'd had a better comeback. So I've been thinking I finally have a good comeback.
And he said, okay. And he said, so ask me again. So Letterman says to you, what are you, an idiot? And he said, no, are you? Do you remember that? I kind of do, yeah. It was one of my favorites. It really got me. I'm not kidding. I've repeated it 1,500 times. That's amazing. I used to get so nervous on Letterman. You guys all did Letterman? Blackout. Yeah, blackout nerves. That was the one guy that got you nervous. Yeah, I get blackout. Yeah, for sure. Every talk show. Letterman just from growing up in high school and thinking he was the best of them all. Yeah, for sure. I used to be on the side of that stage and Biff was like, oh, okay, okay, it's coming. And I start going, holy.
Like my whole head would spin and I feel like I was going to faint the whole time walking out. And then you'd see Dave in person. You're like, oh my God, there he is. It was so overwhelming. Does that exist for you at all anymore? I mean, you put yourself in the wings right now about to go on for a talk show like tomorrow. Yeah. Do you like, you can't shake that. It's always going to be a part of you, right? Have you just learned how to manage it? Not that great. My whole.
career from starting i did stand up when i was 17 and stuff and i had that same weird thing where i wish i never took the gig right before i started panicking and spinning i forget all my lines uh and i noticed everyone else was like laughing and having a good time i'm like oh my god everyone else is ready and and then uh then rare occasions i'll go to myself in the daytime i'll go don't do that don't don't do that thing when you panic just just overcome that now get over that and then don't you question yourself like why why because i go through the exact same thing and i'm like why are we why do i why did i choose this I know, we all wonder. We're always like, why did you choose this? Believe me, it comes up a lot. That's a good one. Yeah, stick around. Will's got like three of them. No, but it's a good point. Like Adam, I think what's cool is you actually kind of, sometimes you use your nerves. You can see it even in an instance like that. You use it to your advantage and it makes you very accessible because you're not trying to put on, you're not a different character. You are who you are. You're very authentic in that way, which is.
Great. Like, yeah, you're fucking nervous because you're on Letterman. You should be. I'm nervous. But you weren't nervous for this bullshit today. I was nervous. Sure I was. I mean, I liked it, though. I listened to the episodes. They're all great. Come on. It's excellent. And I was psyched to be here. And I don't know. I'm the same way as you guys. I'm the same way of every move you make. You go, didn't I already prove myself? Why the hell am I trying to prove myself? What the fuck am I here for? Here we go again. Yeah, exactly. The only thing that can happen is it can go bad. You know, but that quality that Will's talking about that you have, it's so personable and it's so kind and so authentic and so honest and so human. Has it always been like that? Or do you think that it's gotten even?
better now that you are incredibly successful and some of the ease has come into your life because you basically won have you gotten even nicer or you know like some people i'm sure you've worked with as i have people actually get mean and entitled when they get successful you guys seem to have gone the other way yeah you guys all seem the same also it's like i had a i think when i was young i didn't know what i was doing as a comedian i didn't know what i was doing as an actor i was a little uh all over the place i think i was a little more aggressive back then because I guess I wanted this so bad. You know, I wanted to work or I wanted whatever the hell I wanted. And I probably was mad at myself for not being great. I was a little more aggressive in my early 20s.
And then I started going, by the time I was like 28, 30, I started calming down and being able to just relax a little more. But it took a while. You guys know Colin Quinn, right? Yeah, hilarious. I think he's one of the greatest comedians. And he kind of, when I went to NYU, used to emcee the shows and he would talk to me after my shows. I think the reason they used to hire me is I used to bring a crowd. So even though I wasn't that good, there was this place called the Paper Moon and I used to bring a crowd from NYU. Colin used to say, it's so much funnier hanging out when we're talking in the daytime. You're just doing something weird up there. You're not really being yourself.
And I used to try to go, okay, I gotta be more myself. And then I would just panic right away and start doing something else. I just didn't, I guess I wasn't comfortable with being myself. And then it took a while to get to sit in it and just be okay with not getting a laugh and plowing through and that kind of stuff. Wait, did you go to NYU for drama or for acting or? Yeah, yeah, I went to Strasburg. Same. Yeah. Okay, so I have a godson who's also going to New York right now too, Tish.
And he not only has to go through drama classes and comedy and all that stuff, but he has to go through musical theater classes. And so when I saw you do Opera Man for the first time, which is one of the funniest characters I've ever seen, I was like, holy shit, Adam Sandler can really sing. And then you would bring out the guitar and sing. It's always hilarious. So please tell me you did musical theater in college because in my mind, that would be one of the funniest things in the world. Man, I auditioned for everything at NYU. I didn't get anything. You didn't? Oh, I want to see you do Technicolor Dreamcoat. Or something. I did as a kid, though.
I was in Oliver. I was in Oliver. I did, I played, they named a guy. I didn't really, there wasn't really, I had two lines and they said, I think Charlie Bates. They said, you're Charlie Bates. And I was like, yeah, I'm Charlie Bates. I kind of wanted to be the Dodger, right? And they were like, well, you're not him. You're Charlie Bates. I thought so too. You got to pick a pocket or two, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How about Smitty on the Cosby show? Was that your first, that's not your first role. My first thing I ever did was Showtime at the Apollo. I did stand up. I did five minutes, yeah. And I wasn't that great, but I got. Tell me like the first.
first joke you ever told her and if you'd like i could tell you mine okay well the one that worked for me back then uh was it was something i heard my father say to my mother uh but i and i used it i pretended it happened to me i said i was driving up here in a cab and the driver killed the dog on the way said he didn't hit the dog with the car he got out and stabbed that was my big that was my guaranteed lap and that happened because my mother my mother was they were in the car my mother goes the man uh My father said, this guy killed the dog driving the other day. My mother goes, what happened? He hit it. And he goes, no, he stabbed at you. And so I went, oh God, that's a pretty good one. What's yours, Sean? Oh, I was terrible. I was nowhere near as talented or funny as you are. I was horrible. These guys know the one that I won't repeat. But the other one was, and it's long, so you can't, it's like 20 seconds long. Okay, so it's just long for a joke. So I would go, you know, they say on Mars, the atmosphere is like 95% carbon dioxide and 5% oxygen. So imagine one day when we live there, we'll breathe something like this.
And they didn't laugh at that. I love crying. That's solid. Did you hold your finger up when you did it? I like that too. That's a good one. Adam, what about this discovered by comedian Dennis Miller thing? Did that happen at the Apollo? I can't imagine. You know what? It was, so I did stand up when I went to NYU and then Dennis didn't really discover me. He just told Lauren Michaels about me. He said, there's a young kid who's funny. But when I was young, I went to school with Anthony Quinn's son, Lorenzo. He was in my acting class and he told Bill Cosby.
about me, and I got an introduction to the casting agent over there, whose name was Barry Moss. Do you guys remember Barry Moss? He used to cast a lot of stuff back in the day. Right, so he got me. I know Audition and I played Smitty on four episodes while I was going to NYU. That was my first job. And that was big probably. I mean, Cosmo Show was enormous. It was the biggest show on the planet. It was incredible. And that's where I developed the whole spinning thing right before going on. I was spinning like, oh my God, I got six lines. I've got to choke so badly. And I don't know. I became friends with Malcolm though. He used to calm me down. He'd be like, you got this, man. Yeah, he's such a good guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So then how long after that did SNL happen? How old were you when that happened? SNL.
Happened when I was 23. I moved out to, I graduated NYU and then I moved to LA and I was living out in Van Nuys. And then- Gorgeous. Yeah, yes. Right on the water. And I lived with four guys from NYU also. And then somehow I got Saturday Night Live and moved back. Well, did you go and audition in LA? Did Lauren come out? Chicago, Chicago. When I auditioned, it was me and Chris Rock and Dana Gould and a couple other guys. At Second City or? At the Chicago Improv.
I remember Lauren was there and Robert Smigel was there and Marcy Klein and a couple of others and Chris Rock got it immediately after the show and me and Rock know each other since we were like 17 also and so I saw Lauren run over to Rock and I was like oh man okay he's got it I'm out and then I was flying home and no one talked to me and I was flying home and remember on the planes you used to put a credit card in it was like 25 bucks a minute and stuff yeah right so I was scared to use that because I knew my father would kill me for wasting money but I was just flying and flying and I was like uh I gotta call my agent man so I put the credit card in and uh he called and I said did they say anything they liked you they thought you some of your writing was good I said oh okay and what's that mean they were like well they want maybe want you as a writer and I said What do you mean? I think I was like insane. I was like, I want to be a, but I want to be a star. I love the guy next to you on the plane. Probably just like, Oh boy. Yeah. This guy wants to be a star. You can't talk quietly on a plane. Get in line, buddy. Get in line. We all do. Yeah, man. I don't know. So eventually I got hired as a writer, a writer for what, like a year. And then, and then on camera.
Yeah, I did. It was a thing called writer feature player. And me and Spade and Schneider had that. And you would do that. I'm sure you guys all know this stuff, but you would write for everyone else and then give yourself a line like as a delivery guy and try to get on and score. And, you know, and you'd score after 10 shows. They started going, all right, that guy's OK. Let's let's give him a couple. Right. Got you. Used to see that a lot with J.B. Smoove. He would always get himself into sketches. Oh, yeah. Always see J.B. on there. You'd be like, oh, yeah. But how cool. You go for your audition and it's there with Lauren and Marcy, of course, and Smigel.
And you couldn't have known, of course, that that would become this lifelong partnership. I mean, how incredible, how wild, right? When you look back at that moment. Yeah, sure, man. I mean, Smigel was, in fact, I heard later that Smigel was kind of in my court, that he was going, that one kid was funny. I think we need that on the show, somebody young. And they were like, well, we already have David and Rob. We don't need any more of that. And so Smigel and Jim Downey, I heard.
would stand up for me a little bit. And Lauren, he thought I was good. He just didn't know what to do with me. I wasn't easy to digest. I was mumbling up there and I was a nervous wreck and I'm hostile. Like I used to be, when somebody heckled me, I used to like yell at them and not say anything funny. No one is funny or getting pissed off than you. Oh, well, I turned it into something good. But in the beginning, I used to just be psychotic and get like challenge people to something like curse at them. And see the way he just dropped his face right then it just got like deadly fucking serious. I love like there's just, there's no middle with you. Like he's either super sweet and like, I can't get out of my way. And then just.
drop the gloves and i'm gonna fucking kill you yeah i love those swings i don't even know how that happened i just because i don't want to fight anybody i'd get i'd probably get killed but i was always ready to go have you been in a lot of fights as a kid or when i was a kid when i was a kid now i would literally just run so fast anytime i feel it coming i start my heart's pounding through my chest and i'm like oh shit i gotta get out of here but back then i back as a kid yeah i'm sure you guys did the same it doesn't hurt as much to get hit when you're little I like the idea that Lauren's going like, hmm, I guess we could use a nervous mumbler. Now, what about, is it true that they fired you and Farley in 95? Or is that overstated? No, I mean, what happened was, it was kind of the end of it.
People were, we were repeating ourselves, I'm sure. There was a new guy running NBC. He didn't, he didn't like the young guys that much. He didn't like us. I think he didn't like Norm McDonald. And he kept saying, we got to get rid of them that nobody likes them. And Lauren was standing up for us saying, trying to defend us and kept us on a while. And then I got a call from my manager, you know, everyone at Brillstein grade kind of represented every guy on the show and woman on the show. So I, I got, Hey, maybe it's time to move on to me kind of call. And I was like, I don't know, man, I think maybe I'll do another year or something. They were like, yeah, but maybe you should move on. I was like,
Nah, I want to stay. I think I'll stay. And they kept going, I think it's time to move on. I was like, do I have to move on? They were like, it's good if you move on. I was like, okay, okay, now I got you. All right, I'm moving on. So it was kind of like a...
fake quit, fake, uh, try to get up, beat them to firing me. That was like me at every high school I went to. I swear to God. Really? You got kicked out. I'm like, no, I didn't get kicked out. We just, uh, they just asked me not to return. What did you do to get in trouble growing up? I did all this stupid stuff. I was, you know, smoking cigarettes in the, I grew up in Canada. So there are a lot of woods to escape to. So I was always out there like, you know, drinking airplane bottles and, and, uh, smoking butts and all this stuff. I was just, but also I was a wise ass. I was like.
I said to my dad actually once, I was such a wise ass. And of course, the worse the infraction or the bigger the joke that you can make, and especially at the teacher's expense, the bigger the laugh you'd get from the audience or as I call my classmates. And so I would fuck around and they'd get really mad. And years later, I remember my dad was out here and I just built this house and it was like everything. And my dad was like, wow, this house is beautiful. And I said, yeah, who knew that fucking around could pay off, huh? And he finally had to admit like, man, you're kind of right. Cause I was a pain in the ass. You know what I mean? Like my poor dad. Sure, sure, man. You figure out how to channel it. Yeah.
All right. So then were things sort of set up in a way where transitioning out of that show and into other possible sources of employment were kind of set up? Like, were you feeling confident? Did you go right into, was it Happy Gilmore was first out of there? I think I did Billy Madison when I was on the show. By the way, when I got fired, I was confident until I got fired. And then I was like, oh no. Yeah, that's the way that works. Right. I kept, while I was there going, these guys don't get it when I got, man, they don't understand. And then right when they were like, yeah, go do it on your own. Then I was like, holy shit. First of all, you're humiliated that people don't want you. And you got to tell people like, yeah, I'm not.
on the show and they're looking you in the eyes going, you got fired? And you're like... No, you know, he's been making up shit, but it's like doing what we do. You're effectively getting fired at the end of every single job. You have to go find another job. And if you're having a really good year as an actor, you get fired like six or seven times, you know, like you've got six or seven and you have like, there's no guarantee. There's no diploma that you can kind of, it's job interview after job interview. And it's, it's, I remember buying the attitude that I realized I should have been renting when, you know, things kind of dried up and I was really confident until they just didn't want me anymore. And it's like, well, now you got to build up a whole ego and, and, and, and coping mechanism to get yourself confident. That's not reliant on employment. That's really hard to do. Oh God. Yeah.
and being shook up. And I'll tell you, no kidding. I loved you when I was a kid. I thought you were incredible. I swear to God, I thought you were cool as shit. You guys do? Yeah. I wanted to look like you. I wanted to fucking be like cool and calm and funny like that. And I always thought you were awesome. I'm not lying to you. I loved your sister too. Thank you.
Do you remember Jason's show? He had that show, It's Your Move. Did you ever see that? It was like a spinoff of Silver Spoons. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think so. But I think I knew more as Valerie. The Hogan Family was after that. Or Valerie. Yeah, yeah. When Jason got his star on the Walk of Fame out here in Hollywood, because he's a big Hollywood guy. And so when he was in Hollywood, we're worried because he's a liberal elite. And so anyway, so I get up and he asked me to say a couple words. And I said, you know, when I was growing up, I remember.
watching Family Ties and seeing Justine Bateman and thinking, man, I wonder if she's got a brother. That's a good one, man. But I loved him. We felt the same way. This comes up all the time. We used to always look at Jason and be like, oh, man, that guy's, he was a smartass. He was confident. Oh, man. Oh, I was so confident. I thought I was such hot shit. And then the phone stopped ringing. I did not know what to do. My 20s was a whole regroup. I just had to build it back up from zero. Jason and I had lunch like decades ago at the Chateau Marmont, which houses the liberal elite. That's right. And Jason said to me, I don't know if you remember this, Jason. You said to me, we were just talking about careers and whatever and the ups and downs. And you said,
None of it is up to you. None of this is up to you. Yeah, yeah. To try and control things that are out of your control. It's not a meritocracy. You know, like in sports, like if you're a 300 hitter, you're guaranteed employment. That's true. In acting or any form of, pardon the term, art, it's so subjective. You can't rely on, well, I'm the best at singing or the best at painting or it doesn't matter. The best in whose eye. And then so, Adam, so kind of taking that, like one of the things that I think is really awesome about what you've done, you've had incredible success, but is...
You know, I've tried to, especially the last couple of years, I don't want my work to define who I am as a person or how happy I am. It's about family. I know you're a really big family guy. You've got a lot of really close friends. And even in your work, you do stuff.
that you want to do and you do stuff because you know it's going to take time and you know that it's, you know, it cuts into school and all that kind of stuff. And it feels like you gear everything towards making it fit your life and making sure that you're happy and your happiness. You're truly not a Hollywood guy. I can say that. And you don't define yourself by it, right? I kind of, you know, I lucked into having the career of getting the right stuff and get to do it. And not everybody has that luxury. I'm sure more people would do what I'm doing if they could just, you know, just say to the...
head of a company hey let me do it in october because it's you know i got a lot of luck on my side right but you earned that position you really have i got that after a while after a while yeah let me let me really quick ask you something about that and then back to what will was saying because when you were younger and you broke into film for the first time and how much of that success was like you know uh agent business driven and you were just along for the ride and how much of it was self-generated and kind of ambitiously coming directly from you i was ambitious in a weird way i just i always kind of got in the beginning hey yeah yeah maybe maybe next time they would hire somebody else when i would do auditions and stuff i i remember auditioning for a few movies as a kid when I was like 21, 22, and they'd always pick somebody else. And I was like, God damn, these guys don't get it, man. And I was such an asshole, you know? And whoever they picked, I would be like, oh yeah, okay, man. Like I was hot. Mistake. What a mistake. And then I wrote Billy Madison with Tim Herlihy when we were on Saturday Night Live and I gave it to Lauren and Lauren was already doing Tommy Boy with Chris. And so-
Oh yeah, that's awesome. And he's, he was, it was the first time me and Chris had an either or kind of thing. And Lauren said, we're doing Tommy boy. We can't do Billy Madison. Actually, Tommy boy used to be called Billy the third. It was really movies. Yeah. They were like two, the two Billy movies. And we would look at each other, like who's the guy to pick. And they, and he picked, um, you know, Tommy boy. And I was going, oh man, oh man, I guess that's done. We'll write another one early. And then like.
I was in this movie called airheads and the producer of that one called me like five months later. He's like, I read this script. You and hurl a hero called the Billy Madison. Do you want to do that? And I said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why? What do you mean? He was like, I could get that done for you for like $6 million budget. I was like, I was like, I get $6 million. He goes, no, no, not you. I didn't know what any of that shit meant. But, uh, but he got it, uh, fucking, he did problem child at universal, which was a low budget movie and made a lot of money. So they said, get some more of those kinds of things. So somehow Bob Simon's got this movie.
I asked Lauren, I said, no, that movie you said you didn't want to do. Is that okay if I do it with this other guy? He's like, do anything you want. So I did Billy Madison. And then that kind of got me going.
I mean, I remember when I first did that, everything that they talked to me about doing after that was doing my goofy voice and being very, you know, the same Billy Madison again. And then I had that Happy Gilmore thing that me and Hurley, he wrote. And they were trying to talk me out of that. They were saying there was a movie called Ed with the monkey, you know. No, no, no, that's Ed TV. It's the one with Matt LeBlanc. And they went with the monkey. And they were like, do that. That's more like Billy Madison. I said, let me do, I'll do that one after.
I do the golf one. Is that okay? And they were like, no. And so I had to make a stand and say, no, no, no, we got to do this Happy Gilmore movie. By the way, two of the funniest movies ever. No kidding. Hugely successful.
Thanks. I mean, they're good. I'm psyched. That's in my... They go down in history as with all the other great comedy movies. It's kind of cool. But then the success was so... One after the other after the other. Was there a strategic consideration when Punch Drunk Love came about? Or was that more of a... Did Paul Thomas Anderson come to you and only in hindsight do you see it as a great strategic sort of balancing thing, offsetting the goofiness? Or did you think ahead and kind of seek out something that might counterbalance all that? That was all luck. I mean, in my head... Will, you did Strasburg, right? So I thought I was good.
I was like, wow, I'm going to surprise somebody someday and really act. But it wasn't on my mind. I kind of liked Eddie Murphy, and I wanted that kind of career, and I just wanted to be a comedian. And then I was doing, I think, Little Nicky or something like that, or yeah, something like that, and Paul. was friends with Tom Cruise. They did Magnolia together. And I met Tom Cruise when Nicole Kidman hosted SNL. You know how you get to meet everybody because SNL. So I met Cruise and I, my God, I, my Cruise had a Yankee hat on, like dipped down low. And he looked up and he goes, Hey man, I was like in love with him. Like, Oh my God, I'm in love with Tom Cruise. Of course. Anyways, Tom called me up.
I'm on my side. He goes, hey, my friend, I'm doing a movie with my friend, Paul. He's a great director and he's interested in doing a movie with you. Can I put him on the phone? And I said, yeah, yeah, sure, man. And he gets on and Paul was very nice and he was going, hey, I loved Billy Madison. And I go, okay, man, thanks. I didn't know who he was. And he's like, and I just love your movies and your albums. And I was like, okay, cool, man. Okay, creep. I didn't know what he was talking about. He's like, he goes, is it okay if I write you a movie? I said, you can do whatever you want, man. That's great. Just stay away from my house. But he was sweet. I can tell he was funny.
That's like Picasso saying, is it okay if I paint you a painting? I know, right? I know. It was the luckiest thing. And then, and honest to God, fellas, I was, it was like 11 o'clock in the morning and I had nothing to do and Magnolia just came out. And I said, I think that's that kid's movie. Wow. Paul, I'm going to go see that. And I went alone and I was in the front row. It was sold out with all real film kind of people. And I was looking up at it and I was going.
I was fucking terrified. I was like, oh, this guy's fucking better than me, man. I don't want to fucking be in this. I'm going to ruin his movie, whatever the fuck. You know, I was like, holy shit. And I called him up on the way home. And I was like, holy shit, I just saw your movie. He's like, yeah, yeah. I was like, fucking the frogs and the holy shit. I was so excited about everybody. And I was like, oh, fuck, man. So you're writing that movie, man? He goes, yeah, yeah, I'm almost done. I'm going to get it over to you. I was like, well, when the fuck is that coming? You know, I started getting very excited. And then he did it so cool, man. I lived in this, I rented a house on the top of Bel Air Road with my buddies. And he came up.
And he knocked on the door and he's like, I got the script. And I said, here's my present to you. And I go, oh, okay. He goes, go ahead and read it. Tell me what you think. I go, you going to stay here? He goes, no, I'm going to go for a drive or something like that. And I just sat in the other room and I read it and I was like, oh my God, man, I don't know if I can fucking do this. This is no way. And so he comes back after his drive and you got a bunch of notes, right? A couple of things, Paul. Don't mark up and don't move this. That's true. No, I was fucking scared. Like, like, you know, when you get something and you just go, oh, she's man, I always said I can do this ship and this is too much, man. And he talked me through it and got me comfortable. He's incredible though. I mean, he's, his taste is just unreal. I love that he's a huge comedy nerd too, apparently.
And that he can see the amount of acting it takes for you to pull off, believably, what you do is, you know, right in line with his with his taste and his abilities. And I just I'm such a big fan of his. And then the Safdie brothers, you know, I mean, Uncut Gems is just. absolutely stunning. I don't mean to jump ahead, but they had fun at talking Benny and you talking at Anderson's was a great night. I just, I'm crazy about those guys as well. And I love the two of my favorite filmmakers. Well, that would be three. I put you as a lead in their films and I hope that you take as much pride in that as you deserve. Absolutely. That was an incredible performance, man. It really was. It was, it was, it was so nuanced and deep in this guy. Like it was, you guys, you know, honestly, you could do it. You guys could do it too. I know you're all great. All three of you guys are great actors and funny as shit. And who's better.
Is there one that's better? You're number one. We're fighting for the silver over here. Yeah, you don't need to. You're both solid. But Sean's number one. So I would imagine that you love the creative process of doing a drama and also the process of doing a comedy. I'm not going to ask you which is your favorite, but what would be your ideal ratio between comedy and drama and kind of like fun films with your friends versus kind of working for a director? I'm starting to get a lot of serious kind of offers, and I love reading that stuff.
But it is more of a decision in my brain. I'm like, shit, once I say yes to that, then it's fucking, it's a whole lot of thing in your trailer and you're fucking rocked and you got to think into shit that makes you uncomfortable and slightly humiliating out there in front of people doing some of the shit they want you to do. And so it's a decision, but I like it. I want to do that stuff. But I also love doing the comedy shit and the fact that, you know, I just did probably the goofiest movie I've done in a long time that, you know, shit I would have done when I was 23. But I'm still happy doing it. QB, QB Halloween.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it? What is it? I don't know anything about it. It's on Netflix, right? It's coming out on Netflix and it's a Halloween movie and it's all comedians and all, it's like a- And our kids will love it, yeah? And the kids, I do that because I get excited for kids to laugh and stuff like that and shit I've been doing my whole career and I still love that stuff. But being able to do both, I mean, good God, you can make an eight-year-old laugh and you can make a 70-year-old cry. I mean, it's like, come on, not a lot of people can do that at all. Thank you, man. I'm lucky, yeah, yeah. Adam, you said, I read somewhere a long time ago, you said, I'll do this for as long as they let me.
Yeah. And they, I love that. And they keep letting you because you're incredible and talented and likable and winning. And is there time when you actually tell them that you're done or you're still having the time of your life? Like what, what else? Cause you work more than anybody. Like you've never stopped working. I, I, I, I don't know when I'm going to stop. I look at like, uh, you know,
know dustin and i know nicholson and pacino and those guys and those guys they're addicted to work too i mean i had lunch with pacino and he still gets excited about shit and he's just like i read this amazing script and he still wants to kick ass and and uh i i i kind of think i could stop and then i i when i'm starting like this pandemic man with not working holy shit was i losing my mind and fucking every day becomes the same jumpy shit and my fucking family certainly wanted me to work they were like jesus christ he's fucking insane get him out of here i heard you were out on the golf course a little yeah we heard we heard from a friend that oh i hit it to your buddy yeah Who's your buddy that I almost hit, by the way? Tom Warner. Tell Tommy I'm sorry. Okay. Are you a big golfer? Because I'm finding that that is keeping me off the streets a little bit during this pandemic. You've been playing a lot? Yeah. Well, you know, I met you a long time ago, like 20 years ago. You were friends with Brill, I think back then. And I was at a party and I saw some thing that they interviewed you on like a show and you had a, you golfed on it. And I saw you at the thing. I said, dude, I just saw you did. You got a great swing. And you kind of like, okay, okay. And that was it. But I remember going, oh, that fucking guy knows how to golf.
He's got a great swing. He does have a great swing. I didn't have a career at that point. He's got a great swing. We've both taken it up in the last couple of weeks. We've been a little irritating to our significant others. Yeah, it's a long day, a golf day, right? Are you addicted to it or is it just something that you just kind of slap around? No, tell your buddy, what happened was I'm a member of Riviera and I fucking live right down the street.
So I haven't golfed. Since I've had kids, I don't golf that much, just like you're saying, Will. Because of the whole five hours away and the stare you get when you get home, I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? But while they're in school, we got a pass while they're in school, right? That's right. That's supposed to be it. But I still get nervous leaving the house and coming back to a fucking whole other mood. So I know what you guys are talking about because when I make banana bread, I'm like, do I pull it out at the right? Like, when is the, do I leave it in another five minutes? Do I not? It's crazy. It's just like it. Well, listen, I know you must feel guilty about paying all those dues over there at Riviera and not using the course. So Will and I want to help you out.
just kind of getting a little bit more active out there so you just let us know you guys are playing real well like in the 80s or 70s no well he is i'm playing like shit but jason's game is getting together but what we've been doing is we've been calling guys that we know who we know belong places because we don't that's where you come in hey you playing these days and then they go yeah and we go well jason we're available on wednesday willing to keep you company wow man adam i'm always like i always ask funny parents this like will and jason are two of the funniest people i know they always make me laugh so hard and we've always talked about do their kids find them funny? Do your kids, and you're obviously fucking hilarious. Your kids find you funny or not at all? Or like, do they get your sense of comedy? Do they watch your funny movies? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty good at home. I'm happy when I make them laugh because when I'm asking them to practice something or that kind of guy, they like, they don't like him, but they like to funny me. They get, I do pretty good. I make them comfortable. And I definitely try to be funny a lot and try to get laughs. I don't always, always score. Like I try to take them out of their moves. I think growing up, that was my move too. When I felt my.
father about to fucking go nuts on me. Of course, I said a few jokes to lighten him up. I think I do that with the kids too. When I see him upset about something, I go to the jokes. Do you guys do that? 100%. Adam, who's the disciplinarian then? If you make them laugh, everyone's, I mean, is Jackie the one that's laying down the law or do you do both?
I heard you guys talking about this. You're lighter than Amanda, right? I'm lighter, but I would imagine you might be similar to me where you're the class clown, you're the joker, but then you can swing all the way to the other side and really get serious if you need to. And there's really nothing in between. Oh, yeah. I think I get really fucking nuts where they just scared eyes at me when I'm like, no, you have to know this. Right when I start raising my voice. That Jackie would not do. Like Amanda would not do that. She covers the whole middle ground and I'm like the bookends. Jackie cuts me off in the middle of that too and starts going.
She takes a weapon out of your hand, right? Yeah, she's like, they can't understand. The weapon, I guess, is my fucking loud, you know, semi-angry tone all of a sudden. She's just like, stop, stop. They don't understand when you're doing that. I'm just like, they have to know this, all right? Listen to how loud I am. Yeah, exactly. And then it goes away and then I'm like, this ass most of the time. I like keeping them fucking happy. I like when they're happy and laughing. But I put some pressure on them. Not about...
I don't know if you guys have this, but everything I did, I would just go outside and practice and fucking basketball, baseball, even bike riding. I would just like be in my own fucking world, just driving a circle, trying to hop off a curb, trying to pop a wheelie, whatever the fuck that was. And I don't see. My kids want to do that as much as me. So I'm like, there's nothing you want to get good at. Right. I do that, that shit. And they're just like, not just not what you want us to get good at. We want to get good at what we like, you know? All right. Well, in closure, I have one last question for you. What makes you happiest in all of these, all of these areas of your life? There's, it seems like there's so much harmony and everything's kind of cruising and there's so many things to bring you happiness. I'll bet you'll say family or some garbage like that. And by the way, this is Jason's looking at, this is going to be informative. He's looking for something to make him happy. So he's looking for clues, whatever kind of clue you can get him. Yeah. If you had to, but usually where do you find yourself the most sort of just serene?
this is a great day. Well, fuck, I would have to say when shit's going good at home, everything is good. That's true. You know what I mean? When the kids and your wife or your partner are happy and there's nothing else to be concerned about, you're just fucking free to be who you were as a kid, you know? Like, that's when I feel like, shit, I'm making a movie. This is great. When I'm fucking making a movie and I get a call from home and something's off, I'm like, I'm fucking lost. Totally. I'm lost until that shit gets resolved, right? And you got to act good and the other actors are joking around and you're kind of like, what? Like you're beat behind?
And you're looking at your phone because you're like, fuck, is this thing going to resolve itself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're fucking heartache. Heartache for no reason. And then all of a sudden. I doubled mine because I now have like an ex-wife. So I want to make sure that Amy's happy and also my partner. I've got like way too many people I'm worried about are happy now. Sure, sure. So it sounds like a complaint. Listen, I'm a very lucky guy, but still. Yes, absolutely. No, we all are. But the definite ups and downs in my own brain. I never have a fucking 24-hour happy day. I don't see that ever coming my way. But when I'm working, I'm pretty like, all right. How about you guys when you're working? Are you like, this is great?
When the phone is off because you're working and you're on set and you're in that thing, that is a great space. When you're really in it. I remember, for me, one of my happiest times was when Jason and I were first doing Arrested Development. And so people, you didn't text as much back then. It was because everybody still had to flip phones. I remember I got a new flip phone. I was so psyched. A two-way pager. A two-way pager thing. We had those. And I just remember, like, you'd go to work. You leave your trailer or whatever you're dressing. You go on a set. And you're on there for, like, four hours. And you're not contacting the outside world. And you're in this thing working and you're in it. That is a happy memory for me. But if you know that.
there's that there's something a little sideways back home. You still can't a hundred percent enjoy it. So staying a little bit ahead at home and making sure that that's all running smoothly and it will be smooth again tomorrow too. Cause I'm not just, you know, you know, I'm doing something proactive to keep it going forward and staying ahead of it. I've been trying to do lately. My wife, uh, when I know I go on Tuesday, I got a pretty, that big scene, blah, blah, blah. Uh, she'll go, okay. And then she'll kind of block shit. She should not bring shit up to me on a big day. Oh, that's nice. That's pretty nice. And then that's nice. Anyways. And then you run lines with her.
Yeah, oh my God, all the time. And she's good at finding shit that I wasn't gonna do in the scene and going like, well, don't you know what that line means? Oh, that's awesome. She does that for me, yeah. Yeah, I do it all the time here. You do that with Scotty? Constantly. That's nice. Are you good at memorizing your lines, Adam?
Not too good. How about you? Jason's the best in the biz. The best of all time. Will's really good at it too. That's that fucking TV shit. That's that TV shit. It's fucking unbelievable. I'm surprised that Saturday Night Live didn't kind of grind that in on you. Or were you just looking at the cards the whole time? Both. They tell you to, right? I would do the panic thing like before Letterman. I remember I did this shit on Weekend Update where I did costumes, crazy, I'm crazy pickle arm and all this shit. And I had to do this thing where I was, I'm crazy under the desk guy. So I remember.
In my head, I went, when you're crazy, the under the desk guy, there's no cue cards because you're going under the desk and you got to remember your shit. And I remember I fucking live. I went under my desk and it was like, my head's going. Holy shit. There's no fucking cue cards. You're in trouble, man. And I think I remembered most of them and got it done. But no, I like knowing the cue cards were around. You were tight with Wally, right? Was Wally doing cue cards back then? I know Wally. He just texted me out of the blue the other day. He's such a good guy. He's doing well. He's got fucking some other business he's doing right now. Yeah, I don't know. He's, yeah. I haven't heard from him here, but Wally was the guy, the cue card. He's on an amusement park now. I think he just started an amusement park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old John Candy's working there. It's nice. Adam, you're incredibly generous to give us all this time. Thank you for saying yes to doing the show in the first place. Thank you for asking me, guys. We love you. Congratulations on your show. It's a great thing you're doing and getting to hang out
We're pretty lucky. We're very appreciative. So looking forward to seeing you on the golf course tomorrow. We'll be there probably about 8.30, 9 o'clock. Yeah, we'll wait. We're going to warm up first. I know you don't like to warm up, but we will warm up. Right on, man. All right. We love you. Say hi to your family. Love you, pal. You too. Thanks, buddy. Good to see you guys. Okay, bye, pal. All right. Later, guys.
He's fantastic. What a good, decent guy. He's so engaging. I could listen to him talk for hours. And by the way, how he's talking about all that anxiety that he has, I'm like, yeah, I totally get that. I relate. Yeah, he stayed so human when he's had many opportunities probably not to. He's able to stay very loyal to his friends. He's also putting up a great product. He's got his family with him. He's just been so smart the way he's kind of put all these pieces that are available to him into a certain direction that I would imagine perpetuates so much happiness for him and some people that are close to him and obviously his audience as well. He's a good human being. Yeah, he's a well-rounded guy.
And he's got a sort of happy life. And for me anyway, I like looking at the people who are having a happy life because it's not defined by what they do, but it's defined by so many other things, starting with family. And what they do with the things that are available to them in their life, whether it be, you know, really expensive, nice things or not. What you do with what you've got, I think, is a good test. Thank you to Adam for joining us. That was great. So good, Jason. He better take us golfing. He better take us golfing. And thank you, listener, for joining us for another hour.
Love Smartless. Bye.