Reactive Abuse Why You’re Not the Problem (And Never Were) episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 9, 2026 · 1H 2M

Reactive Abuse Why You’re Not the Problem (And Never Were)

from The Vulnerability Project Podcast · host Kass Gomez

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses psychological abuse, emotional manipulation, trauma bonds, and toxic relationship dynamics.This is one of the hardest episodes I’ve ever recorded.In this deeply personal and vulnerable conversation, I open up about a moment in my life where I became someone I didn’t recognize, and carried the weight of that moment for years, believing I was the problem.But what I’ve learned through healing, therapy, and trauma-informed work… changed everything.In this episode, we break down:What reactionary (reactive) abuse actually isHow toxic relationship patterns slowly build over timeWhy your nervous system goes into survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)The truth about trauma bonds and why leaving isn’t as simple as people thinkHow attachment styles and past wounds shape your reactionsAnd how to begin releasing shame and reclaim your truthBecause here’s what no one tells you:Your reaction may be visible…But the thousands of moments that led to it often go unseen. If you’ve ever:Questioned your sanity in a relationshipBeen made to feel like “the crazy one”Reacted in ways that didn’t feel like youCarried shame for how you showed upThis episode is for you.This is not about excusing behavior. This is about understanding the why, so you can heal, grow, and break the cycle.You are not brokenYou are not the problemYou were responding to something realIf this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear it.And if you’re ready to go deeper, come join us inside the Inspired Warrior Project community.WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER.STAY CONNECTED:Work with KassJoin The Unbroken CommunityFollow us on IG: Inspired Warrior Project

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses psychological abuse, emotional manipulation, trauma bonds, and toxic relationship dynamics.This is one of the hardest episodes I’ve ever recorded.In this deeply personal and vulnerable conversation, I open up about a moment in my life where I became someone I didn’t recognize, and carried the weight of that moment for years, believing I was the problem.But what I’ve learned through healing, therapy, and trauma-informed work… changed everything.In this episode, we break down:What reactionary (reactive) abuse actually isHow toxic relationship patterns slowly build over timeWhy your nervous system goes into survival mode (fight, flight, freeze, fawn)The truth about trauma bonds and why leaving isn’t as simple as people thinkHow attachment styles and past wounds shape your reactionsAnd how to begin releasing shame and reclaim your truthBecause here’s what no one tells you:Your reaction may be visible…But the thousands of moments that led to it often go unseen. If you’ve ever:Questioned your sanity in a relationshipBeen made to feel like “the crazy one”Reacted in ways that didn’t feel like youCarried shame for how you showed upThis episode is for you.This is not about excusing behavior. This is about understanding the why, so you can heal, grow, and break the cycle.You are not brokenYou are not the problemYou were responding to something realIf this resonates, share it with someone who needs to hear it.And if you’re ready to go deeper, come join us inside the Inspired Warrior Project community.WE ARE STRONGER TOGETHER.STAY CONNECTED:Work with KassJoin The Unbroken CommunityFollow us on IG: Inspired Warrior Project

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Reactive Abuse Why You’re Not the Problem (And Never Were)

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This episode was published on April 9, 2026.

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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses psychological abuse, emotional manipulation, trauma bonds, and toxic relationship dynamics.This is one of the hardest episodes I’ve ever recorded.In this deeply personal and vulnerable conversation, I open up...

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