Real Talk With Jamie: The Ugly Truth Part 3

February 11, 2012, wasn’t the end of the struggle. It was just the night the light was turned on. What followed was a flurry of blurred lines, a packed bag, and a driveway conversation that still echoes in my mind.I left my home on a Wednesday night to find myself, but all I found was a deeper sense of being trapped. I was caught between a husband who was suddenly and inexplicably pursuing me with a romance I didn’t recognize, and an affair that had become my only source of safety for seven years.⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING & SENSITIVE CONTENT: This episode is the rawest I have ever been. It includes discussions of suicidal ideation, the gritty details of leaving a marriage, and strong language that reflects the self-hatred I felt in that moment. I use the specific names the enemy called me because I refuse to clean up a story that God had to get His hands dirty to save.Today’s Real Talk covers:* Sitting for two hours in the tension between I love you and I want to leave you.* The dark thoughts of ending it all because I felt like a “f***ed up mess.”* Why walking away from an affair feels like a death, and why I demanded space to mourn a sin.* Going home to a man I didn’t love because I saw a glimmer of a hope I couldn’t explain.If you are currently standing in your driveway, wondering if you can ever go back, or if you can ever be clean again, this is for you. I was broken beyond repair, but as it turns out, the Ugly Truth is exactly where the new story begins.JamieThe Weight of Stillness is a reader-supported ministry. There will never be a paywall blocking you from fullaccess to what God is teaching me as I embracestillness. But if you are led to donate to this ministry God is birthing out of my journey, you can become a paid subscriber. Get full access to The Weight of Stillness at weightofstillness.substack.com/subscribe