The West Coast Cowboy Tour. If you want to see where I'm going to be, go to vjsonalis.com to see tour dates and where I'm going to be because I might be in your town. vjsonalis.com, do it, go now. Because you know, my heart, I stopped drinking a while ago and I want to be active, so I've kind of always fought to not be on drugs and alcohol all the time.
The Cratum was a sneaky. Like, the Cratum one was like, people were like, oh man, it's a great after-workout thing. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when I quit that, I was like, that might be the worst one.
That might be the hardest thing I've ever had to get. And we, we, incredible, get through. Welcome to the show. I'm huge Jackman.
Today, our guest is none other than the world famous and my good friend, Dr. Drew Penske. Welcome to the show, Drew. Good to be here.
I think I'm a better friend of this cat than you are of me. That's big, big to me. Already, I'm not this cat about five minutes. You're talking.
We are the bestest of friends of all time. We had a animal medium in the other day. And she said that, rumble bean, that's rumble bean by the way. Royal bean, Drew, Drew, yeah, I mean.
They, that he, his favorite thing in the world is to be with his father on the couch. Look at this. This is a friendly cat. He is a great guy.
Rumble bean, friendly cat. We know. I'll write that right now. I just think too.
So how are you my friend? I'm great. Good. Drew, I'm curious when we say that we recently spoke to a pet psychic.
I didn't budge, did I? I didn't believe. I went all those for your mind. What's my mind is my wife would love that shit.
She has all her friends who have her own psychic, a little podcast, calling out with a stinky. And I've had a chance because of that show, to study psychics. Yeah. And it's kind of fascinating.
Well, I mean, they do some uncanny stuff. And I became convinced that they were doing something strange neurologically because their eye movements when they were in the zone, when they were really calling out stuff, that was true. They had rotatorium and stagmus. They were having a stagmus, the upper right corner.
Yeah, a pre-corner. Now, this is not normal eye movements. They're accessing something. And so we had, should Tyler Henry did us.
And I asked him to come back and let me wire him up with an EG. And I brought a neuroscientist in. And we wired him up. And he read Steve-O.
And Steve-O came in completely skeptical. He was like, fuck this guy up. And the dude zeroed right in on mom and all the stuff about his mom. And he immediately melted.
And the brain waves, he went into this crazy state of hyper vigilance, hyper alertness. He gets drenched in sweat. And his autonomic nervous system is deeply activated as the same time as he's hyper-inhibited. He's in a sleep state and hyper alert with him.
Neuroscientists was like, I've never seen anything like this. So they do something. They're into something. What does that mean?
Right. What does that mean? Right. They do.
My suspicion is that they're able to access that the shit goes on amongst us communications that we are not aware of consciously and they're good at accessing. A higher level, a higher frequency of intuition. Like I had a thing about a couple days ago. I came home and I said, listen, it's not a wife ago.
I don't know why I need to mention this to you. But I'm bothered by this dream you described to me nine years ago. Nine years ago. And she goes, I just had another one just like a two days ago.
I was like, I know where they came from. What is that? Yes. So whenever you say, you know, it's like animals, like people, like, OK, it's something I had a dream the other night where my balls are hairy.
And I was like, well, that's weird. And then I grabbed the hair and pulled it all out with one shot. And I was like, fix that. Look at you.
Back to hairless. Yeah. Hairless. With one.
And I was like, it was kind of like, you have a tooth dream where you pull your tooth out. I know it's very common. I have not had that dream. It was ball hair.
Yeah. So in the tooth dream, there's sort of anxiety. You spit the teeth out. Yeah, I always feel a loose one.
And then I push them and then they all come out. Right. And so is this one balls? Is it more of a?
OK, I have a question. Because I think this is my intuition tells me this is an important question. OK. Was it painful?
Was there resistance? They just went. They just went. Yeah.
Yeah. At first, it's a little bit like, wait a minute. Is this all coming out? And no pain.
I was like, may as well go full gusto. And I was showing somebody. For me. Ta-da.
You tell me, tell if I'm wrong. That's how I experience him. He's always showing that he has balls. And then he doesn't hurt him.
He wouldn't hurt him. I see. Right. So you're taking this as the metaphorical ball.
It's sort of the feeling that he gives me. Yeah. Fits with a feeling of pulling arrows. I think your chest goes might be just your spirit.
Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Wow. I always thought it was a wolf.
But it makes more sense than it's balls. You should have put it unfortunately. You should have written like a test of your head. Yeah.
People would have thought it was just brain. That is cool. OK. Is that that guy with a scrot?
I'm on the side. No, it's my brain. I mean, because the back it does look a bit like it's a bit scrotty. So Drew, I hurt my knee.
And I don't know if you know. I think you know, I'm a doctor as well. Of course. Well, you're good with it.
Look, you can't be nasty. It'll not be good at ortho and they sort of things. Right. I'm not.
It's orthopedist is a doctor. Right? Yeah. I do that.
That's what I am. There's surgeons though. Right. I'm not a surgeon.
Right. So yeah. You're like, I'll tell you what's wrong with it. Yeah.
But I'm not going to fix it for you. Unless like, unless there's, as we were discussing before the show started, there's this other thing when you get older where, yeah, you could have surgery and yeah, you could do this and that. But you could also harden the F up. Or do intermediate steps.
But it is the thing we said was even we get the surgery, we'll fuck it up again anyway. Oh, that went to Columbia and got stem cells and they fixed my legs and I immediately went completely berserk and ruined my body twice as bad. Because I was like, oh, I can skate again. Right.
And then I skated and slammed. Right. Because we're still old, right? So the art issue is still in the same shape, even though we peeled it back.
And we end up doing the same thing to it that put us in a shape we were in the first place. But it's true. You're leaving. You're leaving.
You got one chance. I don't know. Am I arguing? No, I'm saying.
I'm saying. I'm saying. You just told me you can't touch the top of your head. You can still lift weights.
Exactly right. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah.
I'm telling the wheels come off. Yeah. That's telling me a documentary about that. I went to meet him today to do a video to promote us doing a show at the Comedy Store.
We're doing the last talk versus Wolf at the Comedy Store. You should come. But anyway, he's like it. What is it?
The 29th of January. Yeah, this month. Yeah. In the main room at the Comedy Store.
Nice. Big deal. Big celebrity comedian. You're a comedy crew.
Sailing. Into the big time. Kicked ass on Saturday night. Probably the best I've ever done.
Good for you. I'm feeling pretty good about comedy. But Tony was like I'm going to be in Huntington Beach if he lives way further than that. And if you want to film this bit.
And I was like oh cool. And he says I'm going to be at the van skate park. So I go OK. I'll go.
And I haven't skated for a while because I've been doing a lot of other stuff. And I was like I'll bring my stuff because you never know. If you're going to meet with Tony, you've got to bring your stuff. So I bring my stuff and I get to the parking lot.
And I'm like oh this is just for some reason I thought maybe the van's skate park in Huntington Beach had like a facility where you did other stuff besides skate. But if it's a skate park, that's it. And I was like oh I can I can. Like a symmetric.
Yeah. It's got a vertices well but it's mainly this big giant cementing which is crazy because I've been there like four or five times and I always walk by the big cementing because it's a bit past my time. And if you don't skate all the time and you skate in that thing, you're going to get hurt. That's the shit they put out riding bulldozers and filled them with sand during COVID in LA County.
Yeah. That's this one because it's orange County. But yeah. But that's how fuck that LA County was drink.
Yeah that's that's ridiculous. I think that's a Venice too. LA County. But staying.
Remember it people be pissed. Remember the excesses. Wait do we have to be pissed? Yes.
Well that can't be happy. You'd be happy but be pissed about that. Right. I don't want to be.
You know I'm not good when I'm pissed or. No. You have to hypnotize you or something. I'm not a good guy.
You mentioned the word anger and he goes into this. I can't be pissed. I'm just not. Well that sounds like a guy who's one step closer to the edge and he's about to break.
Man. I was hoping you're going to get somewhere else. I was just going maybe. I'm not going to be the break.
Do you ever do you ever do you ever do it? What's that? Did we talk about any time? What's India?
It's kind of a hypnotic way of. Yeah. Yeah. That's when I figured out who would have been less of me.
Another person who was less of me. Another. Yeah. That was MDMA.
No, that was another thing. That was another thing. Who was it? Who did you say?
You're dead. You've been saying that for a long time. I thought it was a babysitter. Oh.
First time. And then that. Yeah. Then I had some running through some ladies when I was underage.
Right. At the time because you're a dude and it's back in the 80s where I was like, hell yeah. But then I'm a cat with it. I'm a cat with it.
I'm a cat with it. And made him a sex addict. That's what I am. That's what do you do since I've been sober?
You don't know. I haven't seen you. Well, I knocked him one by one. Yeah.
And then I got to six because when I got completely sober, I was still sleeping with people. And I was like, I wonder if that's part of it. And then when I decided to be celibate, that was really hard. And it made me want to use again.
And that's when I figured out that that is also. I use it to run. I use. I'm like, I'm stressed out.
I'm worried about from feelings. Yeah, so I'll just do stuff. Yeah, of course. So I'm not somebody who messaged me recently, a gay friend that was like, how dare you do this to the LGBTQ?
How dare you become celibate? How dare I? I'm no longer gay. Oh.
I don't do stuff with guys. OK. You're dealing with your addiction generally, and so addiction is one of the addictions of these management for sure. Yeah.
If you're going to say or anything, okay, it's a whole thing and it's important and it's a lot of addiction too. Fantastic. And you know, deciding who you are sexually and all that is something that will help us over our health and so forth. Uh, four hundred and twenty six days.
So you've done most steps all steps on this on this thing. Yep. Good for you, man. I'm doing this.
I'm doing this. Fantastic. I do. I'm in to it.
I'm not going out and I've never been. I really believe behavior addictions are the problem of our moments. Yeah. And that people don't know it, recognize it.
I just talked to half a dozen guys whose wife went out on testosterone and became sex addicts. Yeah, because testosterone gets you. And they're not used to it. They're not used to it.
They're not used to it. And they have a problem and they go out on it. Yep. And they don't go to program.
Right. So people aren't going to program you. They're the way they should. I think I know what you mean when you say behavior addictions are the issue.
Sorry. What does that mean? So gambling, sex, eating, shopping, deading, everything other than putting a substance in your body. Okay.
I would be inclined to throw phones in there. You know, yes, for sure. And there are people that actually treat that primarily, but it is usually phone has a theme sex. I understand.
Something. It's usually the theme that gets you. Right. Phone has to be made safe or put away as part of the recovery from wherever the team is.
I don't want to do a conversation, but I do know there was a period in my life where I decided I want to cut back on drinking when I was much younger and I wasn't aware of it at the time, but I got really into I got lots of projects on the internet and I wasn't. It wasn't sex. It wasn't gambling, but I do see in retrospect it was a place where I could check my brain. So sometimes I do things screens just a distraction.
And that is called process addiction. Okay. And again, that's why I was leaning away from calling it a particular instrument, but obviously the phone is the crack pipe of all these. Okay.
Okay. So when I got completely sober and tried to realize, you know, live in the life that I live and wanting to settle down with somebody, you can't inflict that on somebody again. And I can't live knowing that I've done that. So I needed to.
Can't live knowing that I've done that. So you made a man's okay. Yes, I have. I made a man's with my children's mother and everybody.
I've made my men's is done and I will still I'm sure to do it. But you said you can't live with the fact that you did that to somebody. That was the thing when I cheated and I look back on it because I've lost her forever. And that still burns to this day.
And if I find somebody else, I will just do the same thing again. I would argue that whatever her reaction was, she gave you a gift. I told her that in my immense because she was like, seems like you got it together without me. And I was like, I got it together because it's often the way it is.
And that's the thing about being the co is that you feel like, Oh, you're just getting your shit together because it's been a discovery and blah, blah, blah. It's like, yeah, just like an addict doesn't fucking come to treatment until they're in prison. What am I doing wrong? You got to get a bottom.
The loss loss of freedom loss of relationship loss of children loss of health. Those are the bottoms. Right. So I got a lot of those.
And then when I got sober and instead of working on it, I realized that sleeping with people that are because I've always, we're talking about gay stuff. I'm not attracted to guys. This is the part I want to drill into because I'm not quite sure where you're putting that on the addictive scale. So you said you're you said it very, I think you said it very specifically.
You said I'm not doing gay stuff right now. That's what you said. I'm not gay. Explain that how that happened and what that's all that.
And why the fuck should any community give a shit about your health and your journey? I don't think it's a community. I just think it's a couple of people that saw me a certain way. And I also like when this person explained it, how do you do that?
I'm still a supporter of the LGBTQ. I just don't. What happened? You can engage.
It actually pulled your balls off and just your butt, your balls hair. You did nothing. Then you would be an insult to gay man. That'd be a cool trick.
Yeah. But I don't want to. I'm just know. To me it was guys are very easy.
And if I could have had a girl come over for five times a day. There's an app where they will come over and you can do it and you can just keep running over and over again. And when I engaged in that kind of stuff, it was just like when I drank and smoked weed, I only want more. It's never enough.
So it just kept multiplying. And when I finally cut it off, I found myself not being attracted to guys or being interested in anybody really unless I have like, I really like this person. Closeness. And then yeah, we could probably have sex.
I'm not again. I like sex. It's just not the way I used to look at it in a just addictive way. No, it's a healthy sex.
That's real sex. Yeah. It's real. Like if you say something weird, I'm like, oh, oh, that's not going to work out for us.
We'll all be like, we'll still have sex. But I'm not going to date you. And you were mostly having sex with sex other sex addicts. Oh, yeah.
It's the other thing. You realize all these other people, they don't, they're like, what's up? What's up? And I'm like, I'm not interested in it.
I had to go for them for a while. And people will be like, what's up? You still with your girlfriend? I'm like, yeah.
And now I'm single again. They're like, oh, so you're single? What's up? And I'm like, it's not, it doesn't matter if I'm by myself.
I'm not, no, the answer is still no. I'm not interested in random somebody who just wants to do that. I'm not interested in it. For some reason I'm thinking about something you said, I don't know why I'm thinking about this.
This is me with my weird intuition again. You told me something once you said, yeah, I punch girls in the face during sex. And I was like, well, what? You said, what?
You said, what? And I go, what? You mean, yeah, in the face. We were talking about it.
I might have been laughing. I don't know. We didn't specify. Okay.
And, and I was like, wow, how do you know if somebody's going to react that you go? I just know. And that was interesting to me. Yeah.
Okay. Now that you've maybe go down this road, because of the way I look, there were a lot of girls that when we would hook up, they would be very aggressive. They want me to be aggressive. Yeah.
And it was like an adjustment because I'm not, I do look like this, but when I usually sleep slow, but I, but with being, that was the other thing, a lot of the same kind would be attracted to me. Because of course, they're also because I'm, I'm, I'm a magnet to that because of my damage. Yes. So the only people who want to sleep with me is like, choke me, slap me, spit on me.
And I would be like, okay, this is the world that I belong in. And then when I got sober and stuff doing all that stuff, I found that I'm like, if somebody was to do that now, I'd be like, oh, like, are you okay? Like, what happened to you that made you want me to do that? And now you're going to start getting the codependent on your squad.
But, but, but, hey, codependent. And, and, but it makes me wonder, and I'm not suggesting you should, but I'm just, makes you make amends to some of these people. Since you participated in their addiction somewhere that was uncomfortable. And I'm not saying you should.
It's just, that kind of thing is a curiosity to me. Well, I don't think you decide whether you do or don't or. There's not many people that I did that with. Okay.
And the people that I did do that with, like you said before, where I think that their addiction is pretty serious to, I don't think they'd understand the reason for an apology. They'd be like, I wanted you to. They're stealing that. I've never slept a girl with, and they've gone, oh my God.
No, you told me that. Now I found that kind of interesting. I was like, and it was always, it was always this, it was a certain person that was, you can, you can tell. Like I said, like they wanted me to.
And then somebody taught me how to do it. And that person, if I go, hey, remember how we used to hook up and I slapped you? And I like to apologize for that. She'd be like, I told you to, I taught you how to do it.
It reminds me of trying to talk to porn stars about sex. That's who they were. Yeah. Which, that was another thing.
The only people that I slept with were porn stars or dudes. And then when I got, and trans, and most of the trans, actually, every trans person I was, was a porn star or a prostitute or both. This was for male to female or partly male. Both ways.
And then the slapping thing was a trans man who was a woman, born a woman. And they were, and I know for a fact that I'm not going to make it up. Because sometimes you make it an amends if it's going to harm somebody. No, you're not supposed to do it.
Right. So I'm not going to do that because I think engaging with these people, I think it's best to just never speak to them. That seems to be the thing about sex addiction. You heard the term qualifier?
You know it. You've not heard that term? So it's a word used in sex addiction a lot. It's the person you acted out with that qualifies you for participation in the program, the qualifiers.
Oh, wow. Yeah. It's a term. Sometimes the best thing in sex addiction is stay away from the welfare.
That's that's where I'm at. Look, if they were to reach out to me, that'd be different. And I'd be more than willing to accept to make an apology. Of course.
But when it comes to, you know, I'm still new and it's like going to a bar and like, and they say, by the way, it takes three to five years to get so to really fully recover from a sex addiction. Oh, I believe that. Yeah. It was like a right.
I've had a relationship where sometimes it touched on a thing where I was like, this is not healthy. And I was using a word that was always, it would make me giggle where I would say it's not appropriate or it's inappropriate. And then I would laugh to myself and go, did you just say that? It's kind of funny.
Are you the guy that just said this is inappropriate? It's usually your, you don't even know that word, but that's a, that's a word that I throw a lot. Not so much now because I'm not really engaging in anything, but there was a little bit there. This is not really appropriate.
I think this is going to hurt us. Do you see all this? You see all this change? Yeah.
You're doing this in real time. You know, I'm stepping out of the year and a half later. I can't believe it's been that long. I think I was in her most of my soul.
No, no, no, it's over here in Cino. Yeah. You were in the valley. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was breaking down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I got out of that.
Yeah, that was a scary one. Yeah, yeah, it was, but it was also now looking back. It was a good thing. Of course.
Because I wasn't going to move on or correct anything in my life. If I didn't strip down and I wouldn't strip down, if I didn't think that it all was lost, you know, I was like, I've, everything I am is not what I want. What do I have to do to get to this thing that I don't even know what it is? I'm like, I feel like I'm not doing the right thing.
I feel like I'm not living the right life. I don't know what the future life of Jason even looks like, but this I know is not it. So I hear sex addicts talk like that a fair bit. I bet.
You're in the room? Yeah. Yeah. The first, the first slaw that I went to was heartbreaking because I'd already been in, in me in AA for a long time.
And I'm like, yeah, I'll go. And then people talk and I'm like, son of a bitch. Another thing. Like I got another, and I'm like, this one might even be worse than the drinking because, you know, my heart, I stopped drinking a while ago and I want to be active.
So I've kind of always thought to not be on drugs and alcohol all the time. The cratum was a sneaky. Like a cratum. I was like, oh, it's a great after work out thing.
And I was like, yeah, yeah. And then when I quit that, I was like, that might be the worst one. That might be the hardest thing I've ever had to get. And we win a cradle.
Hey, everybody, Jason, I was Jason. I was a show, I'm going to talk to you a little bit about this new product that I'm started using, quick K that helps you get off. Cratum. I was not fortunate enough to know about this when I got off.
So I had friends that you can white knuckle it. And I was like, okay. And I did. It was, I've been addicted to every drug and I've quit every drug.
And this cratum was the worst detox I've ever had. There was a minute there where I was like, I might go to hospital. I don't know if I can do it. And to know that there's a supplement out there that can ease the pain of what I would call white knuckling.
Quit K is an all-in-one supplement with vitamins, adaptogens, amino acids and herbs to help aid in withdrawal and recovery, increasing dopamine, serotonin, trying to help you relax, trying to help you just get a restful night's sleep as you power through that difficult process. Yeah, it wasn't sleeping. If I can help you guys, this is actually a reasonable combination. I think we live in a day of sort of golden age supplements where they can actually help.
Yeah. So I'm a big fan of supplements. I think we've been a good time to be using them. This is a very reasonable combination I'm looking at here that will help with some of the biology of the hyperactivity, the nervous system in withdrawal.
Now at times though, people do need to go last. I almost sent you to the hospital. You've got to go and get help sometimes. It's an opioid withdrawal.
And if you've been using a lot and if you're being overwhelmed, you feel desperate or your mood is unstable, you think about her yourself or you just can't make it, it's fine. But this is a reasonable place to start right now. Well said. You can learn more about Quit K at their website, quitk.com, quitandaletterk.com.
Hey, everybody. You've been a bit about Toshi. I love Toshi. If you don't know what Toshi is, your butt hole hates you.
Toshi is a thing that you sit at least. It goes on your toilet and you sit on it and you look, you do number twos. We all do. Don't lie.
Everybody does a number two. If you don't do a number two, you'll pop. Pooping's natural. That's what it is.
And when you do it, after you do it, you can wash with your press a little button and Bob goes right up your uncle and you wash your butt. You don't have to use as much toilet paper and your butt is glistening. It's gleaming the cube and it's just dingleberry free. Say goodbye to dingleberries, Michael.
Why did we ever live with dingleberries? Why do we want to? Because they didn't have tushies. Why do we live in a world where we settled for toilet paper when we could have this attachment that goes on your toilet?
It sounds complicated, but it takes about 10 minutes to pop that bad boy on there. You know, I've been married to a woman of the Japanese persuasion for some time now. They love that stuff. There's a lot of things we can learn from the Japanese.
A person I'm picturing attached to it is a clean and prepared for the day Japanese person because the dang is a way of life for them. Make it a day way of life. That's right. Over 2 million butts.
The world over love Toshi. Get 10% off Toshi with the code Ellis at hellotushy.com slash Ellis. I mean, you used to say you might have even said it the last time you were on here. You're like, we, you know, I know you do it.
And you know, I don't want to, you know, say things that might make you uncomfortable, but inevitably that might be something you might want to look into. Let it go off. And I was like, yeah, Drew, but this is what I need. It's different.
The one thing. Yeah. And then when I got into that, that's when it really opened up. That's when I really started to understand, which made it so much harder.
I started to understand all the mistakes I've made and all the hurt, of course, to all the people that I love the most and that when you realize that, the first thing you want to do when you're an addict is go use to not face it anymore. But instead of that backyard, like if I ever got that house going into that, there was so many times I would go into that backyard and pray. And this is before I really believed in God because I was like, I don't know, this is insane. And I would be like, I don't know who I'm talking to.
But I'm not going to use. I'm not going to go out. I'm just going to sit here with it because I know that that's the best move. But you got to give me an answer like something's got to change.
Can you make a change? And it would just be so much pain that I felt like I might go crazy. And it was terrifying because I was like, you're a good guy. You got to bring like, but I'm starting to lose it.
I'm starting to not care if I'm here anymore. But I love my kids. And that was the biggest thing. Like when it got really dark, then it was like, you know, I would put, I don't want to say, but there was things where I was like, I'm going to end it.
And I was like, you do that. You cause you cause your kids enough strife. You do that. That's that's the last show.
Like you're going to inflict that on them after they've done nothing but good for you. Well, here's the problem. And this is the really if he ever starts talking like this is you convince yourself. And by the way, you shouldn't have a nice and comes around them.
Just if you're prone to depression, just say it. Do you think that honestly makes a difference? If you're going to do something? It does because it's often very, it's almost in a psychotic, impulsive state.
That's why people hang themselves. No, they say that very often that people, if they beat another five minutes, they may have bought not a brand. People jump off stuff and when they're on their way down, they regret it, they say. Most of the time, most of the time.
Out of my face, you mean? Tell me to do that. Not bad. So, but they, you can, this is the thinking I want you to maybe commit to somebody, not being in this room, but somebody that if you start thinking like this, you tell somebody.
Oh, I don't. The thinking is they'd be better off without me. I don't think that at all. I understand that's why you're here.
Yeah. Yeah. Another reason why no matter how bad it gets, I don't want to go to a meeting. I go and how much I don't want to call my sponsor or talk to other people.
So do your sponsors in different programs now? No, just one. My head, my sponsor passed away. I just went to his funeral on Saturday.
Oh my God. I know. It was really hard. But his sponsor is now a good friend of mine and he's the one that I watched him make a speech one day and it was, it was, it was a real, it changed everything from that day on way.
So he's 75. He's jacked and he's just got, he's like, you know, I get in a three point stance. That's how I pray now. I get in a three point stance and when I finish, I get fired up and that's his thing.
He gets fired up and just the whole speech, the way he talks was, it just connected with me so much. So I'm always around those people. And that's the other thing. I don't want to, I go to meetings and I sit down and they, if you want me to talk, okay, I'll talk.
But now I'm like, you know, I'm a secretary. I'm engaged. I know everybody. I think I really thought to not be a part of that because I'm like, this is thing that I think we all think we're like, hang on these people at times, and loses, you know, and I'm like, dude, this is your community.
We stay in this community and we stay sober. So like stay in it. And now I have a lot of friends that are always reaching out to me. I have like 20 people now that are texting me all the time.
So it's a, I just know as long as I stay in that, I'm going to be fine. And things have gotten a lot better. So it's not by way of advice given. You're on your way.
I mean, I'm single dude. And I remember thinking that's terrifying. I don't want to be in this house by myself. I really like being in this house by myself.
Like I'm busy doing a lot of stuff. If I've got time to buy myself, think of comedy bits. Right. Just fire.
Like let's get fired up and let's do some shit. Like Tik Tok, you know. Like today, skate, matoni. This concrete ball where I walked out to the end, I was like, oh, I don't want to.
This is not a good idea. You know, like, it's good for a while. This thing's a monster. But I got in there started moving around.
And just like every other thing, like you getting there. So that moving around. And you start enjoying yourself and doing things you didn't think you could do. And everybody got out of a huddle to the car came here.
And then I'm proud to like take my pads off and then hobble to my car. I'm like, you are hobbling. You are seriously injured. And you just skated like a 13 foot giant concrete bowl with Tony Hawk.
You're good dude. You're good. You got plenty in you. You know?
I'm sure I'm gonna ask you something. This is maybe a mundane observation But I think the way that we were raised a world not that not that long ago We saw addiction like say Barney Barney Gumbel on the Simpsons the classic alcoholic Yeah, a moral family this person has made choices in there like they can't get serious and so they're like ruining their family's life Because their own selfishness or something it seems the anecdotal evidence to me seems so overwhelming and knowing Jason As I do and what you mentioned earlier about Catheterwood it seems the vast number of people who have any sort of addiction it stems from some sort of mental Depression whatever you want to call it and the vast majority of those can be linked back to some sort of trauma abuse What percentage of people who are in whatever anonymous are acting out abuse? So so I can only speak to the present moment of the time I've been practicing in this area and There guys like double or matte that say it's all trauma Okay, I'm not in that group Sometimes you're just a truck driver and started taking meth at night to get through the night Yes, you know I mean sometimes you're just a guy that works at a bar and you have the gene it gets out of control Yes, but the majority of times there is trauma and what the way I always say it is if you have bad enough addiction You need to come see me there's a hundred percent probability of childhood trauma and not little t trauma like it trifecta physical abuse sexual abuse to ban them at all of it and That's the rocket fuel for addiction and sex addiction. I would say There's always some kind of trauma in there.
I would say always That's part of the the compartmentalization of sex addiction and then you have to have the genetics of alcoholism or something that Poom now takes off. It's definitely a sneakier one too It's kind of like food addiction where you know like if you're out of control with your eating and you're incredibly obese and you're unhealthy Like you're jeopardizing your life. You gotta eat still right and it's kind of like you know with sex addiction the thing that I've noticed with sex It's sex and love addiction and I think a lot of people you know like a lot of sober guys It's kind of like you know they smoke a lot of cigarettes. It's like oh, that's the greatest thing you need to do with your life It's like yeah, but it's better than everything else.
No, that's a good argument. Yes, but if you smoke two packs a day That's not good either. So it's the same with like check that ass out and I'm like that's a bit rude, you know And again, I'll catch myself and go you really think that that person was rude like you've looked at everybody's ass Jason Like what are you saying, but it's inappropriate I Know a lot of guys that go check it out. I'm not checking it out.
I don't know that person I'm not like I don't watch porn. I don't care. It's all slippery for you to be careful But but the reason there's so many different programs in sex addiction is a there's a C8 is SSA this SLA There's LA. There's love it.
It's right up. I believe it and it's because it has different flavors Yeah, and the rooms are a little different and even the programs a little bit which I was gonna say to you you might want to get a Sponsor in SAA to work at least through the fifth step with that. Yeah, just to kind of see how different they go at it Yeah, you're probably right. Look, I have no I feel like it's a matter of the same with the I meet the right person I mean I do have somebody that hasn't said that they're my sponsor, but I do go there with a guy Yeah, yeah, how long's even so over or whatever like 20 years like you know, that's a big deal because it's rare to find something Yeah, there's a couple people there that have you should lean on it really yeah He was the one that took me and didn't say why we just I'll go I'll go I was two in a day And I was like yeah, I'll go and then as soon as it started I started get dark as I was like I mean Can you have any more afflictions dude, and then he's like good my cam good of just and then it came to the desperate Yeah, cuz it was so I was like I think that I thought that son of a bitch I just like that guy just like that guy I'm like man I thought I was doing good so don't smoke weed son of a bitch, but it does why we don't laugh No, no, I think it's funny You put something in your comment here because people don't laugh about this enough it makes it accessible for people people don't believe it No, I know because I think sometimes it's being used as like somebody cheats like oh I'm a sex addict I'm like you can say the words it doesn't get you out of it It doesn't diagnose you necessarily and you're still a dog by the way like if you don't do the work and then stop doing that to people That doesn't you can't just use it as an excuse you gotta like do the work and by the way will progress if you don't Yeah, tell me when I look back at things the way I ran stuff and To think of the time I thought that that was normal.
Okay. I didn't think like tell you like tell you myself very different people I always yeah, but I always thought what I'm doing is this is different lifestyle than telly's but it's not out of control I think some people just think I'm crazy because they live like a Prude's life right if you will but it looking back I go it's also It's crazy to know that I didn't think it was crazy You were in a new community for yourself, you know with a gay community and they tolerate a lot more that stuff than heterosexual It's a very rare thing to meet somebody in that scene that isn't it for you for you I'm sure that I have lots of gay friends that are interested in him and talk of his intimate state What is it and guess what but that I wasn't connected to that group I was connected to the other group and a lot of gay men Game and sort of established sex addiction treatment and they were the first big group to be treated a lot Yeah, I mean there's some in my meeting that are like that because it is so much eat that's the other thing It's easier to become a sex addict as well It's easier to feed the addiction in the gay community It's almost like your whole world is like if you're a drunk instead of avoiding bars It's like your whole world is about yeah like if you go to the park, right? It's a pub you don't know like everyone else doesn't realize it is because they're just everywhere from my social media It's like at least three or four times a day. What's up, and I'm like No, I didn't reply more, but it's it's a these guys you back to that with before just guys It's you guys it's not it's show this people that I've seen before but it's also because I've been outspoken nicely on social media about being Hey, this is not judging them.
No, no that works for them It's just like I always say look if you work you fine, but when you're ready if it progresses whatever at the start I was angry I will admit that at the start when gay guys would hit on me I would be mad at them why because I was fighting to Stay away from it because I was still wanted to run because a kid here then or no because I didn't want to get pulled back It was kind of like if someone's right. Yeah, oh like someone goes hey man I heard you quit so I can wait you want to join that's like a man fuck you But I am you just I understand that that that's there they don't see it. I don't see it. No, I no longer Take it Feel with lots of crazy feelings.
Yeah, it's a goofy interesting Guild meets so to me the thing that Astonish is astonishingly the most about sex addiction is the ability to compartmentalize. Yeah, like I was just saying where there was a time When I was like this is not that crazy, right? And you work but you were compartmentalizing it and then justifying it and making it work for you and all this stuff But that's because it was in this box. They were you sort of kept it I've stayed on the show to tell you like if people like you're once a day and I'm like once a day I'm like four times a day minimum and people on the show there's a guess to be like It is no need to exaggerate and I'm like I'm not exaggerating I'm telling you that's what it is to me now.
How about honestly and hiding and bullshitting on us. I do with that Yeah, but the thinking back to when you were compartmental well because it's one of the hardest things in sex addiction people have a lot of shame and they Hide and they just they don't they're not honest. They're like any dictionary. Yeah, but it's they're very ashamed of it So it's hard for them to be honest.
I don't I mean I I've always been okay I'm not but I don't look I am like I'm single if I if I would I would go on a date with a girl Yeah, I'm gonna say you have to lay your recovery on I'm just not I'm just you don't I'm just not into You know like I'm not if it doesn't matter who's looking to give me a quick one and I don't know them the answer's not yeah No, I'm not I don't it's not a fight anymore You know that's the best part about it I still gotta go to a meeting I gotta take care of cuz I know that it can change But it it's the same as like I'm home by myself right now. I know where the weed store is I'm not interested But all of them go to the commie store and someone's like hey man, we're drinking I'm like if you what I'm getting at is all of This requires you to be a new person. Yeah, yeah Yeah, and a lot of people are not used to that and I'm and I accept that to when people go wide you know like that person that reached out Really how dare you know that's your angle. That's okay.
I know what I am. I know I'm a supporter I you know I'm kind of people. I'm a good person. I can look in the mirror and I know that I don't lie I don't steal it on cheap if I'm gonna like broke up with somebody I broke up with them I didn't sleep with somebody I told him this is not working out And that's it I didn't do nothing wrong by you you were like yourself However, I was it when you were in it.
Oh, hell yeah, do you still like yourself? No? Like what I'm just checking in because lying is the thing the object honest. Are you saying what I'm saying is a lie right?