RED & Green Eggs and Ham

Do you like fruit? Of course not but we tell our children we do because we want them to believe the ridiculous lie that fruit is real food, and that is what's important. I have an apple pretty much every day, that's how sound I am. We discuss the use of fruit in films and given their myriad of uses - mainly for smashing into during car chases or f****g - there is a lot to choose from.  Legendary British comic book writer Warren Ellis co-created a three issue DC Comics series called RED that inspired the 2010 action-comedy which is the subject of this week’s review. Whilst Bruce Willis might be on familiar ground as former black-ops agent Frank Moses, director Robert Schwentke assembles an unlikely cast to support him which includes Morgan Freeman as his CIA mentor, John Malkovich as a victim of illegal experimentation, subjected to daily doses of LSD for years, Helen Mirren as a retired MI6 assassin and Brian Cox as an ex-KGB officer who is still in love with her. This one really runs the gamut from average to mediocre, though anyone who can't enjoy Dame Helen wielding an enormous belt-fed machine gun or Brian Cox hamming it up more than Miss Piggy's bacon sandwich is dead inside. GREEN EGGS AND HAM was the result of a bet between medical professional impersonator Dr Seuss and his publicist that he couldn't write a novel using only 50 words and the fact that the prestige-fraud claiming quack successfully produced one of the best-selling kids’ books of all time conclusively proves that children are idiots. This 23-episode Netflix adaptation features striking visuals and a strong cast including Michael Douglas, Adam Devine, Keegan-Michael Key and Eddie Izzard but that doesn't stop us from asking the important questions like just why is the titular food green and what might the devious Sam-I-Am be hiding? Watch out for an explosive finale to the review where two of the guys say they will watch more of this, and the other dad beats them to death for their lies and insolence.You can now text us anonymously to leave feedback, suggest future content or simply hurl abuse at us. We'll read out any texts we receive on the show. Click here to try it out!We love to hear from our listeners! By which I mean we tolerate it. If it hasn't been completely destroyed yet you can usually find us on twitter @dads_film, on Facebook Bad Dads Film Review, on email at [email protected] or on our website baddadsfilm.com. Until next time, we remain... Bad Dads