Redeem

I love etymology, the study of the evolution of the meanings of words. Such explorations can parallel and inform our search for a more personal understanding. When society offers ready-made explanations and well-worn paths, we may seek satisfaction in a search of our own. Redeem is a word layered in meanings and usage: one that we use in business and in personal life. We can redeem a coupon. We can trade this thing of value for something of ours, like a layaway, or for something we purchase. We may also seek redemption in a personal or spiritual way. Our religions offer redemption through surrender to a higher power, following the rules of religious texts and discipline. Through such choices, many find greater joy, peace and community. They may swear off behaviors, addictions, and unloving attitudes. I honor this tradition.Some of our favorite movies, mythological and otherwise, involve a person awakening to their faults, their past and their transgressions. We love watching them overcome the pitfalls on the road to redemption. To be redeemed is a rite of passage, a hero’s journey to wholeness and equilibrium.I love redemption stories. I love the renewal they promise in the form of humility, accountability, change, growth and spiritual seeking. One might make amends and make changes. They may seek guidance about stubborn foibles. They may rediscover passions and connections. The lost are found via seeking and finding redemption.In this case redemption means to purchase oneself back from the debt of negativity and a life squandered. It also means to re-deem, to look again. To take the measure of ourselves with fresh, loving eyes. What a powerful and courageous choice. Perhaps this is the core of the undertaking.We must re-deem ourselves. Yes, we may undertake treacherous and painstaking work. But let’s try seeing ourselves afresh: celebrating our strengths, our talents, our innate goodness. Do we unwittingly dance to the typecasting of our inner demons and our external detractors? Will we re-visit our opinions of ourselves? Do we stand up for ourselves? Can we redefine our self-image?I ask because I see a flaw in the apparent philosophy of the redemption theme: that we must act and change our way out of negativity. We are not enough until we do these acts and make these changes. We are not worthy. We must fix it. We must change for our god, our family, our business or our friends. And we may actually need to make major behavioral and attitudinal changes. But we may want to consider if unquestioningly accepting this initial premise may be a form of covert self-non-acceptance.This is where we could get into the weeds. Are we removing a lifetime of programming, unknowingly downloaded from our families and societies? Of course. So the changes of which we speak may amount to a shedding of all that is not us: co-dependence, people pleasing, suppressed feelings, and other agents of in-authenticity. These and others abound in us and disrupt our experience of our essence. So let’s remember that the changes we need to make are the releasing/healing of faulty attitudes, misunderstandings, grudges and other forms of ignorance to which we are all susceptible.I want to caution my reader friends not to use redemption as a tool for self-flagellation. We are so easily misled by our traumas, our families, friends, media, businesses and social media. Don’t blame yourself for being ignorant. It’s not your fault. But it is your responsibility. Don’t blame yourself for being negative. It’s hard to be sensitive in a society that is sick and on a planet that is being exploited. Join the billions of members of the stressed-out club. We are all like this. Those who are thriving despite all the pressures of the economy and personal limitations should be emulated. We can honor the path that they forge for us to follow.Many use organized religion with its obvious strengths and pitfalls in order to seek redemption. I commend them. Others use more aboriginal spiritual endeavors, the arts, philosophy, love of nature, animals, exercise, music, and charity. We can mix and match to our liking. We can model the behaviors of those who are having success. Whatever choices we make, let’s make them in the spirit of self-love, not self-blame. Most of our faults can be chalked up to trauma responses, misunderstandings, and just plain human frailty. Letting ourselves off the hook for our mistakes and limitations may be the most important step on the path to a new life.Don’t disparage yourself. Don’t help others define you in a negative light. You are not a collection of your faults. Swear off your previous transgressions against self and others. Make amends. But don’t let it take you down. Because you may come to a place where the burden is too much and it will sneak up on you. We are often all-too-ready to grovel and see ourselves as lowly. But this doesn’t help. It’s a fine line between humility and humiliation. The missing ingredient is self-respect. No creator and no one who truly loves us would want us to be unkind to ourselves. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit greenmang.substack.com/subscribe