Redefining Masculinity: From Soldier to Sensual Guide

From Marine to Somatic Intimacy Guide: Andre Lazarus on Presence Over Performance Host Andy Grant interviews Andre Lazarus, a former US Marine turned somatic intimacy guide and surrogate partner therapist featured on the UK series Virgin Island. Andre describes serving in Afghanistan, leading others, and later being drawn into intimacy work after partners reflected its therapeutic impact, alongside unlearning rigid ideas of masculinity. He critiques the manosphere as often dangerous but notes it offers community and conversation to struggling young men. Andre defines somatic work as body-based healing—through breath, touch, and nervous-system regulation—often more effective than talk alone for physical or sexual trauma, and discusses common male intimacy issues like rapid ejaculation, erectile concerns, dissociation, and over-focusing on a partner’s pleasure. He emphasizes breathing as a foundational practice, compassion in difficult family relationships, that surrogate partner therapy is a triadic model with a licensed therapist, and that “intimacy is not performance, its presence,” “simple doesn’t mean easy,” and “there is no one way of being a man.” 00:00 Surrogate Therapy Explained 00:43 Meet Andre Lazarus 01:32 From Marines to Intimacy 03:28 Masculinity and Unlearning 07:35 Vulnerability Myths 09:13 Manosphere Pull Explained 14:34 Somatics Defined 16:18 Men’s Hidden Intimacy Struggles 20:45 Breath as First Practice 24:03 Healing Father Wounds 27:05 Virgin Island and Surrogacy 29:57 Going Public With the Work 32:42 Boundaries With Clients 34:33 Never Too Late to Grow 36:01 Connect With Andre 37:39 Final Takeaways on Presence Connect with Andre Andre Lazarus — https://coming-closer.com/ Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/ Highlights of Virgin Island — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbnU9iq6kGBFORNkmpVkNhQ6KoZVkf04T Connect with Andy: Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Andy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.org YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel #RealMenFeel ep 406