Regulation Isn’t Always About Zen: Audrey Burke on Flexible Nervous Systems and the Fight for Fierce Boundaries

Nervous System Regulation is having its moment, and we love that for it. But what if regulation isn’t about staying calm, but about reclaiming flexibility, boundaries, and embodied strength as a sensitive high-achiever?In this episode, Julie reconnects with longtime friend and Somatic Experiencing® practitioner Audrey Burke to explore what real nervous-system “regulation” is (hint: it’s flexibility, not monk-on-a-mountaintop calm). Audrey traces her path from dancer/yoga teacher to trauma-informed touch work, unpacking why co-regulation and consent-based touch can complete stress cycles when talking can’t. Together they name the difference between embodiment and “moving without being in your body,” the balance of internal/external locus of control, and how sensitive, intuitive women can build boundaries without abandoning compassion. Audrey shares practical boundary practices (the yarn exercise, push-hands “I can” reps), reframes healthy aggression as protecting life-force, and explains why titration beats catharsis. Julie weaves in the Conformity Corset, parts-work in coaching, and the both/and of mobilization and rest. They close with real-life community building beyond “pay-to-play,” and the advice they’d give their younger, hyper-capable selves: trust your body’s cues—and let that be enough.From Movement to Embodiment — 01:03 Audrey’s journey from dancer and yoga teacher to Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner — and the difference between moving your body vs. being in your body.The Power of Touch — 03:23 Why touch can be a missing piece in trauma healing and regulation, and how it differs from talk therapy or manual therapy.Redefining Regulation — 08:01 Unpacking misconceptions about regulation (it’s not endless calm), and reclaiming fight/flight energy as part of a flexible, responsive nervous system.Context, Culture & the Nervous System — 11:32 Exploring locus of control, trauma, and how regulation can’t be separated from culture, systems, and social context.Boundaries & Sensitivity — 43:13 Somatic practices like the yarn circle and relationship mapping, the challenges of being a highly sensitive person, and reframing boundaries as acts of care.Reclaiming Healthy Aggression — 56:29 How suppressed fight responses impact safety, and how titrated exercises help sensitive people feel both strong and relaxed at the same time.Belonging & Community — 1:08:19 Turning 40, moving back to Durham, longing for non-monetized circles, and building community rooted in secure, ongoing relationships.Love what you hear from Audrey and want to learn more? Follow her on Instagram at @somaticswithaudreyIf this episode speaks to you, hit subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend👉Looking for more of where this came from? Sink deeper with coaching support from Julie and Book a Soul Story Mapping SessionKeep up with what's going on by joining the Notes from a Fart Walk Newsletter and don't miss an episode or updateWatch full video episodes and clips on YoutubeSocial Media: Follow Julie for clips, bonus content, and updates throughout the week. You can also shoot her a DM to connect!Instagram @drjuliegranger, Substack @drjuliegrangerLinkedIn  juliegrangerdpt