Relationship Resilience After Betrayal Trauma | Geoff Steurer | #31

Listen in as Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz invite back to the show Geoff Steurer, specialist onbetrayal trauma, to talk about how couples can bounce back and move forward after trust is broken in the relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing betrayal trauma, this is an episode you don’t want to miss!Timestamps:0:00 – Introduction: Who is Dr. Geoff Steurer?3:00 – What is betrayal trauma?5:35 – Most people initially stay with their partner after being betrayed7:49 – Quick trust does not exist, you can’t quickly trust somebody9:56 – Both the hurt partner and the betrayer are on their own paths of recovery11:26 – The marriage goes through a recovery process too13:55 – Tearing yourself down does not help you & it doesn’t help who you’ve hurt15:58 – Recovery means being willing to talk about the betrayal17:00 – People can change; there is healing on the other side of betrayal trauma20:15 – Coming clean versus being found out - how it affects the recovery process22:13 – There are no quick fixes when it comes to betrayal & emotion & connection24:50 – Engage in healing; you'll feel better eventually doing the healing work26:48 – What is the role of parents whose adult child is experiencing betrayal trauma?29:19 – A message to those who are on the edge of betraying their partner31:06 – Let’s not be afraid to talk about attraction and chemistry33:16 – Make sure there's not enough space between you and your partner for someone else36:21 – Geoff’s takeaway: there's nothing, in terms of your emotions and experiences and feelings and needs, that your marriage can't handle37:09 – Liz’s takeaway: People have the tools, talents, resources, and abilities to handlesomething as excruciatingly painful as betrayal37:39 – Dave’s takeaway: Be very mindful and intentional in your relationshipInsights:Dave: When both partners are committed to doing the work, it brings hope into the relationshipLiz: Good people make mistakes, good people betrayGeoff: The structure and institution of marriage is sturdy and stable and it’s big enough to hold all of our fears, worries, insecurities, temptations and strugglesInvites:   ●   If you find yourself flirting or looking forward to interacting with someone of theopposite sex, get honest with yourself and your partner about it. Don’t be afraid to talkabout attraction.   ●    Keep it a little awkward with people you could be attracted to. Keep that distance there and don’t build so much familiarity.   ●    If someone you love is going through betrayal trauma, get educated and understand the process. Learn how to keep your own emotional balance and know what to say/what not to say. “You don't want to become a piece of debris in somebody else's tornado”.About Geoff Steurer:Geoff Steurer has a passionate commitment to helping couples rebuild theirrelationships from crisis to connection. He specializes in helping couples and individualsaffected by the trauma of sexual betrayal. He understands how exhilarating and stressfulmarriage can be and works hard at his own marriage. His goal is to show couples how his work will pay off in their own lives. Steurer specializes in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, treating pornography and sexual addictions, infidelity, men's issues, anxiety, depression, anger management, and family therapy. He is the co-author of "Love You, Hate the Porn", creator of the "Trust Building Bootcamp", host of the podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and author of a weekly online Q&A column.Geoff Steurer Links:Geoff's WebsiteCouples CounselingHappy Hacks: 101 Science-Backed Ways to Boost Happiness, Reduce Stress, and Build a More Meaningful Life.Available now starting at 99¢ on Amazon and Dave's Book StoreWritten by Dr. Dave Schramm, this practical and uplifting new book offers simple, research-based strategies to help you build greater happiness, strengthen resilience, reduceThe opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed in this podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of the Utah Marriage Commission.Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways: Strongermarriage.org  Podcast.stongermarriage.orgYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@StrongerMarriageLifeTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@strongermarriagelifeInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579Dr. Dave Schramm: http://drdaveschramm.comhttp://drdavespeaks.com Dr. Liz Hale: http://www.drlizhale.com/