Relationships: Fix vs Curiosity – Bob Conlin

On this episode guest host Bob Conlin presents another of his relationship episodes, this time he talks about conversations that have come up with his clients, especially in his men’s groups: The notion of fixing things, or ‘the big fix’. KEY TAKEAWAYS Parts of us, as individuals and in relationships may perceive as broken, wrong or hard to be with. What happens is there’s a real strong urge to fix the problems with us, that we want those things to go away. These include the problems that we perceive with our being, like getting impatient when my son cries, or I get angry at my wife when she doesn’t…, or I don’t feel I am worthy of this experience in my business, some disempowered story that you have about yourself, who you are, who you are not. With our ‘stuff’ or problems, my invitation to you is get in a better relationship with it, understand what’s actually going on with you, have some compassion for yourself and others and actually find out what will work for you in those moments where your stuff or problems come up. What’s the opportunity? Get curious about why that’s impacting you in the way it is and what’s the relationship to it that you can build that will support you? Don’t try to fix your problems, try to understand what’s actually going on with you and then to choose a way of being that is aligned with what you’re committed to in your life and your relationships. BEST MOMENTS ‘What do we do with problems? We like to fix them. Especially men.’ ‘I sometimes like to try to fix my wife’s problem for her, even when she hasn’t asked, and you can imagine how well that’s gone over!’ ‘What do you need at the moment? Ask for it.’ VALUABLE RESOURCES Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272 Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272 Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679 Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679 Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon) World Game-Changers Group ABOUT THE GUEST Bob is a Life, Love and Leadership champion, author, coach, trainer, husband, father, and a professional certified coach with the International Coach Federation. His philosophy is that we are in relationship to everything and the top three opportunities for growth exist in self, loving others, and career. As a relationship coach, he’s doing the work that he was meant to do, in order to fulfil his life purpose. As the author of the forthcoming book ‘Why Your Relationships Suck: How to Create Strong Relationships with Courage and Heart’ – and as a devoted student of the relationship development he preaches – Bob enjoys a rewarding and fuller life being a husband, coach, leader, musician, and traveller. He and his family were featured in Episode 3 of CBS’s “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” in August 2020. Website: www.conlincoaching.com ABOUT THE HOST Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life. From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence. Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational: Contributing Significantly To World Peace… He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.   This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring.  He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide. Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising. CONTACT METHODS Tel: +44 (0) 7958 042 155 E-mail: [email protected] Web: https://www.Paul-Lowe.com Web: https://www.worldgamechangers.org/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/IamPaulLowe/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-d-lowe-7a78332a/