Religious Trauma, Purity Culture, and Honest Writing with Author Carrie Etzel

This week on Chronically Candid, Morgan sits down with writer Carrie Etzel for a layered, thoughtful conversation about growing up inside an authoritarian, evangelical subculture, unraveling purity culture and discovering who you are outside of that subculture when you have no 'blueprint' to follow.Carrie—essayist, Substack writer at Sister Swan, romance novelist, and mom of five—shares how narrative shaped her from childhood. Raised in a deeply religious environment (with a pastor father and missionary grandparents), storytelling was woven into her identity early on. But, in her twenties, life as she knew it imploded as she increasingly questioned the tenets she was raised on. The conversation explores:What authoritarian religion actually looks like from the insideHow questioning faith can cost you your community—and why people still choose to do itThe nuance of recognizing the harm and feeling gratitude for the people and spaces that shaped youThe long shadow of religious trauma, including how our bodies rememberMorgan and Carrie dig deep into purity culture—what it is, how it functions, and why Carrie calls it “a system of sexual ownership.” They unpack the ways it reduces women to objects and men to uncontrollable urges, creating confusion, shame, and distorted frameworks for intimacy. Carrie speaks candidly about how these teachings shaped her sense of self and the slow, ongoing work of disentangling those beliefs.One of the most powerful threads in the episode is Carrie’s reflection on romance novels as a tool for healing. After years of self-policing very human emotions, she found freedom in a genre that centers consent, female pleasure, and emotionally mature partnership. That discovery inspired her to write her own romance novel—one where purity culture itself is the villain. Her hope? That other women who left or want to leave authoritarian systems might see themselves on the page and imagine something different.The episode also touches on:The intersection of religion and politics in AmericaWhy dehumanization is a hallmark of authoritarian systemsParenting after authoritarian upbringingsThe complexity of telling your story when it overlaps with others’Throughout, Morgan and Carrie model what it looks like to stay curious, hold nuance, and speak honestly about painful things without flattening them into caricature.This conversation is tender, brave, and deeply reflective—an invitation to examine the stories we were handed and decide which ones we want to keep.If you’ve ever untangled faith, questioned inherited beliefs, wrestled with shame around sexuality, or wondered how to tell the truth about your past without burning everything down—this episode will resonate.Resources mentioned in the episode:STRONGWILLED on Substack: https://strongwilled.substack.comShiny Happy People on Prime Video: https://www.primevideo.com/detail/Shiny-Happy-People/0TRV2VQKIE3NEHOPKZ5G3HION5Bridgerton on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/80232398Carrie's Substack: https://substack.com/@sisterswanA Well-Trained Wife: My Escape From Christian Patriarchy - https://tialevings.comSupport my work by reading & subscribing to Chronically Candid on Substack at morgannbarrett.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.